Forget the watches... young people rarely use watches anymore. Seriously, if they don't wear watches now, they won't start wearing them because of a gift. And I find watches to be highly personal. What you may like, I might hate.

I'd not give the quilt at the shower, it will just dilute the impact of the quilt for a wedding present. Just pick something on her wishlist, or a very nice picture frame or a cookbook. But keep the shower gift smaller and less than the wedding gifts.

I agree with sushipup about the watches. People just don't wear them much today. All their electronic gadgets have a clock (phone, iPad, etc.). I also agree that watches are very personal & styles change rapidly.

I'd save the quilts for the wedding. They are a special present that I'd expect to be cherished.

For the shower, I'd go with something small & on her registry list.

/tricia

Just a minute on the watch thing....I have 6 grandsons....5 of them have in the past 3 years 5 of them have asked for "A good watch" for Christmas.
They don't wear the watch to tell what time it is but more as a piece of jewelery....the phone still is the time piece.
But that's not what you asked.
Yes it would be appropriate to give the quilts as a shower gift....but in the effort not to steal others' thunder, I would think more in terms of what she needs...like perhaps a cuisinart....or maybe an All clad stock pot. Surely you can think of something she needs that she doesn't know she needs.....maybe one of Ann T's boards.
Linda c

I agree with Linda that wrist watches are still worn by men as jewelry, and you will find them in hip stores on Melrose Avenue. I bought one at the Red Balls store on Melrose that was a special Seiko watch made in Japan, and it made me look like a Power Ranger when I wore it. Kevin ordered a Japanese watch on line that has blinking lights that come on when you press a button, and then you add up the lights a certain way to figure out what time it is. It looks something like this. Mine will tell you the time in Japanese when you press a certain button, and it also is a stop watch and an alarm clock. Anyway, wrist watches are still an important fashion statement, and I see no need to rule them out.

I can't help you otherwise with wedding show etiquette, as I have only been to two in my lifetime. Ann T's boards would also make a nice gift, and I know that the quilt will be cherished. My cousin makes quilts, and I told her that one of her quilts would be the perfect gift for my nephew when he got married (He is her second cousin, or first cousin once removed). After the wedding, my cousin called me to tell me that she got the nicest thank you note that she had ever received for the quilt. The fabric for the quilt was cowboy motif, and my nephew and his bride both loved it.

Lars

Thanks! Believe it or not, it does help me prioritize.

Our niece lives in the midwest and we're in FL. When I purchased an induction stove, she received a lot of my pots and pans. I know she doesn't need pans, but I don't see her very often so I don't know what else she does need. Her mom is no help--asked about food processor, good knives, etc., and mom just said she already had all that. We won't be able to attend the shower, so I'll pack and mail. If I send the quilts, they will have a written history and explanation of care. Not that they take much.

Hubs is absolutely set on the watches because the "kids" have listed disposable stuff on their registry, but not nearly enough so each gift giver an option. That's why we are trying to figure this out ourselves. They both wear watches. The gift watches will be Tag Heurs--ceramic dressy one for her and an Indy for him. Hubs has taken the fiance to auto races, car shows, and swap meets and they have really bonded. Hubs KNOWS the guy will like the watch and who am I to object??

Whatever you do is special and those are some nice watches! I think even a non watch wearer would wear one of those but since your dh knows he (and she) would like one, that is indeed a lovely gift.
So, I would give the quilts at the shower, I have been to a zillion showers and the "family" usually give extravagant or the nicest gifts (often heirlooms or something handmade with lots of hours into it) and I think most would realize that.

Selfish me.....would not give those quilts at the shower....I would want to be there when she opened them!! I would want to see the smiles!
Linda C

OK on the watch. And save the quilts for the wedding present, not the shower if you won't be there. You are not required to send a gift to a shower that you can't attend, but I know that you want to something nice for family. I still think that something from her wishlist will be fine for the shower.

I think that jewelry like the watches would best be presented more privately and personally, perhaps at the rehearsal dinner or before that, when you and your husband can have a private moment with the couple to present those gifts.

As I mentioned, this will be a destination wedding. Wedding gifts to be sent in advance of the ceremony to be opened in private. Obviously, we won't be there either.

I've looked at the quilts I have and jointly we've decided to gift her with 3 of them. They represent 3 generations of women who worked with their hands and with varying degrees of skill. I'll start tomorrow writing up the history of these quilts--should be fun to do.

OPh, yes, I forgot about the destination. Sigh. And you would really enjoy this wedding, wouldn't you?

The quilts are an amazing gift. What a treasure!

The wedding is in Las Vegas. I'm still spitting nails. Don't want to go, but no other choice.

Those are both such lovely, lovely gifts. I think they sound wonderful for the occasions you have chosen.

I have worked for 12+ years at a high-end housewares store. I spend a lot of time registering brides and a lot of time helping wedding guests shop off a registry. I see people sending gifts of ALL dollar amounts for all occasions. Your gifts are very generous and I would not consider them inappropriate.

I absolutely love the idea of the quilts, but if you wanted to send a "kitcheny" type of gift I would suggest a KitchenAid stand mixer. It is a classic, lasts-forever kind of thing that some people don't realize how wonderful they are until they have one. But again, I would prefer to receive the quilts!

I'm confused about Vegas. I didn't think you were going. Are you?

Nicole

Nicole, she already has a KA stand mixer. When I replaced mine, I called her but that was already covered. Thanks for your kind words! Her gift registery is at Crate and Barrel and it has four entries. She doesn't need much.

No, I'm not going to St. Louis (where she lives) for the shower, but the wedding will be in Las Vegas.

My problem with Vegas is that I don't gamble. Shows don't interest me. She will be married at the base of a fake volcano (gag). I'm into natural things like mountains and beaches, with low tolerances of .... fake and glitter. Gotta work on that.

LOL, beachlily, I have faith in you. You'll be kind and gracious and grind your teeth, but you'll do it for your niece, because you love her.

I think your gift ideas are lovely, and if you send the quilts to the shower, she won't have to haul them back from her "destination wedding" to home, they'll already be home. With a loving explanation of the history of the quilts, it'll be a stunning gift.

I feel the same way about Vegas, I went once and couldn't leave fast enough. Just remember, soon you'll be back home with your beautiful flowers and lovely blue ocean house, and your niece will be happily married. Her memory will remind her how gracious, kind, thoughtful and generous her loving Aunt is. It'll all be worth it.

Annie

We're not fans of the strip/gambling and especially shopping scene but we enjoy Las Vegas for the other things the area offers:

Red Rock Canyon - gorgeous area, walking, picnicking (if it isn't too hot) hiking! Need a rental car, and check for end of June weather, might be too hot.

Hoover Dam, sign up for the tours. Half day.

Atomic Museum, a couple of hours, and not far from the Pinball Museum - bring quarters.

There is also the Natural History Museum and Ethel M Chocolate Factory and cactus garden.

If you can stand the casinos, we like watching the water shows at the Bellagio and the hotel also has an awesome Dale Chihuly glass chandelier in the lobby.

Night time - check out the Fremont Street Experience in upper, old 'downtown' Vegas.

(FWIW - I was confused by your posts - you said it was a destination wedding but not that you were going, I assumed you weren't going to either).

Jessica, that's the one thing I'm sorry we missed, the Hoover Dam tour. We hit Hoover dam at 6 am Sunday morning after spending all night Saturday night listening to the drunks jump off the bungee jumping tower at Circus Circus. When the sun came up I found no traffic on the strip and promptly left town having not slept for 36 hours. No Hoover Dam tours on Sundays, though

The first thing we saw when we pulled into the parking garage and started getting our suitcases were two men arguing and one had a gun. We tried to walk down the strip but it was 112F. (We were there in July, ugh) Things kind of went downhill from there, especially since I had two kids under 18 with me and they weren't even allowed INTO the casinos.

I didn't lose a bunch of money there, though, so I guess that's a good thing. I did try to find the Ethel M. chocolate factory, but I got lost and although I asked three different people, everyone said they didn't know how to get there. Well, one guy might have known, but his English wasn't so good so I couldn't understand what he was telling me. The traffic was horrendous, so unless you know how to get around, you're better off with a taxi!

Annie

There would be no words to express how grateful and excited I would be to receive such wonderful gifts as those quilts. That's a stunning gift. I think Annie made an excellent point about transporting the quilts back home.

I got that it was the shower you couldn't attend, not the wedding. Isn't that the case?

Where are they going on their honeymoon? Maybe there's a show or something at their destination you could buy them tickets for? I know that's not exactly a normal shower gift, but if they don't need anything, something along those lines might be good for a shower gift. Now, keep in mind, I'm the densest person on earth when it comes to this kind of thing. I was hoping this thread might give me ideas for my niece's shower, which I won't be able to attend, either.

Sally

Yes, we will attend their wedding, but not the shower.

The newly weds will stay at the hotel for a week. Her parents are staying there too. Unfortunately the new husband has student loans totaling 6 figures from the education he is just now finishing, so a fancy honeymoon is out of the question.

I am sure you have this planned already, but be sure to have the watches engraved. They can then pass those on to thier children along with the quilts.

Add the Liberace museum to your list of sightseeing possibilites. But only if you know who Liberace was! And even if you think you don't like "shows" I can't imagine anyone not loving Cirque du Soleil's Mystere. They have a few other shows now that I haven't seen in LV, so I can't recommend them. But Mystere was the first I'd ever seen and it truly was amazing. Worth every expensive penny! Their O show is also highly recommended by everyone who's seen it. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be sorry if you attended either.

I really hate that I love LV so much.

Great idea to engrave the watches!

Olychick, we're thinking of getting 'Love' tickets. We usually avoid Vegas shows (truncated versions of what we see at home) but we've heard rave rave reviews, seen clips, and it looks like one not to be missed.

The Liberace Museum is no longer open. Kevin and I tried to go there a few years ago, but it was closed on Mondays, and so we could only look at the outside of the building, which was pretty far from the strip. I think it closed permanently last year or 2010, but then I think they may reopen it, since all that stuff has to be stored somewhere.

When we go back, we will want to see Cirque du Soleil.

Lars

Maybe I'm a cynic, but I would not engrave the watches.

I thought about that, Bumble! Anyway on the back of the men's watch, there's no room for engraving. Tag Heur do their down documentation.

Cynic here, too!

Absoulutly engrave the watches on the back side. My children are frothing at the mouth over several engraved watches that have been handed down from family! They may never wear them but they will have them...one day :-)

Oh, Lars, that's so sad :-( But I guess the stuff won't mean anything to a generation removed who didn't experience him. When I was a kid, I was really crazy about him. That fabulous piano playing, plus all the bling. Still my two favorite things in life.

I would give something unique, but smaller for the shower.
Customized pottery fruit bowl, one of Ann T's boards, beautifully painted tile trivet, etc. Artisan quality.

Save the quilts and watches for the wedding.

It sounds as if you still have to mail the quilts so be sure to insure them. It could never, never replace heirlooms, but they are a high theft item and you would receive some compensation if anything happened.

I think your choices are wonderful.

Deanna

OMG, I'm already in tears missing those quilts! I did a letter to her explaining what she was receiving. It started with, "Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Enclosed is a gift for you that comes from my heart--three quilts that were made by my great grandmother, my grandmother, and my aunt. They have been entrusted to me for the last 30+ years and now I'm entrusting them to you." The letter ended with, "I sincerely hope you enjoy these quilts ... they are pieces of history created by women for their families."

Why am I so upset? I can't stop crying. Those quilts mean so much to me and NOW I worry???? I'm sure it's ok. I've just had them for so long.