Probably tell her just what you told us. That it is poisonous and your children and you would be heartbroken if the cat nibbled it and became ill and you don't want to take a chance. And that you'd enjoy seeing it in her yard when you visit.

What the heck is it anyway?

Stop watering it....depending on what it is, it will die in a shorter or longer time.
So tell her that, because it was toxic to your kitties and you had to put it in an out of the way spot, it didn't get any water and died...:-((
I can't think what it could be besides houttunyia that would be so evil....
Linda C

It is a hybrid Star of Bethlehem and unfortunately on the PA invasive species list and leaves, bulbs and blooms are also toxic. Unfortunately, I don't want to put it in her yard either, she is next door and with my luck it will end up back here anyway LOLOLOL!

Thanks for the suggestions!

She is probably quite well meaning, just doesn't know her plants very well.
Do you think it came from a local nursery? If so, I would just take it back and exchange it. Plant the new plant and then show it to her (if that even happens) and tell her that is the plant from her. Then explain why you had to switch it. That way you still have a gift plant from her.

Then there's alway's the lawn mower you can blame....

Let it die, then plant the dead plant. Tell her it didn't make it, then hope she doesn't run out and get another for you.

I have some kind of plant creeping under the fence from my neighbor. It would take over the world if it had a chance.

...you can't even give it back!

Keep at as a house plant and tell her the truth. That you always research everything that goes in your yard and it is both invasive and toxic so it has to be a house plant.

I'm not a house plant gardener, mine always eventually pass away. I do have a lucky bamboo in my kitchen in a vase, one stem. I can kill those too, though!

I agree, tell her the truth. And you wanted to remember her thoughtfulness so you bought an xyz plant to replace it.

I agree with Nancy. Exchange it. Then explain why you did. Or just tell her you'd been hankering after the xyz plant (that you'd exchanged for) and felt it was much better suited to your yard or that it would thrive better. Then tell her every time you look at that new plant you'd think of her and her kindness.

I had something somewhat similar happen to me. A friend sent a plant when my mother passed away. She sent an ivy which I had tons of already. I exchanged it for a schefflera which would be much more unique among my plants. When she visited I showed it to her and explained why I'd exchanged it. She was ok with it AFAIK. That schefflera is now quite big and I do think of her when I water it. I have tons of ivies and probably never would have thought specifically about her when watering them.

Are you sure this particular cultivar is invasive? Nurseries don't usually sell invasive plants that are on a state list, do they?

Ack, sticky situation. You don't want to seem ungrateful and you don't want to hurt her feelings.

When in doubt, be honest.

Ask her to go with you to pick out something different, the place she bought it at will probably let her make an exchange.

Thanks everyone!

She is absolutely well meaning, and is definitely NOT a gardener! I will explain to her that it is not something I can keep, and the reasons why I can't.

Shermann - unfortunately, there are a LOT of plants on the invasive species list that are sold at everything from Mom & Pop Nurseries to HD, Lowe's, etc. Here is the link that I use most often. The ones I could easily find today are the Barberrys, Privet, Euonymous, the Olives, the Jap Spirea, most of the honeysuckles and bittersweet (which I actually planted, but it didn't survive the drought 2 years ago and I will not replace it). Recently added, are butterfly bushes and bradford pears, both have been favorites of landscapers all over my area and have escaped and are crowding out the natural plants here now.

Here is a link that might be useful: PA Invasives

Alexa, you've already gotten the good advice here that you need, I would also just tell her the truth, that it's toxic and you are concerned that your cat or someone else's beloved pet might nibble it and so you plan to exchange it for something else.

I sure wouldn't have a problem with someone doing that, although I tend not to plant anything I can't eat, LOL. Elery is going to have his work cut out when we build, he wants "landscaping". I want pasture and fruit trees, but we did finally agree on blueberry bushes. (grin) I told him the less yard we have, the less mowing there is to do and besides, the deer are going to eat it all anyway.

Annie

Do you mean ornithogalum, Alexa? If it's the same one in my garden, it sure is a spreader. Is it any more toxic than, say, daffodils? I don't worry too much about toxicity, but I would not let it loose. How about sticking it in a pot that lives outside? And make sure you cut off the flowers before they set seed. That way, you can show her the plant placed as a "feature" among your other plants, and eventually recycle it.

CC - thats the one! It sure is a pretty thing in a pot with the foil and bow, but I have enough problems with the current invasives that have arrived from other yards (or the previous owner). As far as toxicity.... opinions seem to vary depending on the site, but it seems it can be anything from "skin irritation" to cardiac arrest. I'm not chancing it! LOL!

Alexa

Here is a link that might be useful: Poison Plant Patch

"skin irritation" Well, there you go. A shame you broke out everytime you touched it, huh?

No, that would be a lie, so wouldn't work. Still, would have been handy, huh?