I think you just composed most of a potential email to your invited guests.

Let them know that the weddings are the same time and you know that it's awkward. Maybe explain that your cousin "didn't realize" when she scheduled her date.
Those "in the know" from the beginning already understand which was scheduled first. The others will understand or it won't be important.

It is unfortunate that some will have to choose, but many times people have to make difficult decisions. They'll be OK.

Good luck and wise decision to not make it a drama!

Deanna

Oh dear, that is sticky. I don't even have good advice, except as Deanna said, don't make it a drama. People will have to choose which wedding to attend and that sucks. Sigh. But, keeping it calm and drama-less will help the family, no matter which choice they think they have to make.

If it helps at all, Amanda and her half brother both got married on the same day. 50 miles apart, so her Dad had to shuttle from one to the other. It was actually kind of funny, the bridal showers were also scheduled on the same date!

Annie

Send out, to those you know will be on the "A" list to save the date....and do a "mea culpa" about neglecting to do this sooner as you had set the date but thought it was a bit early to send save the date notices....And mention that you know people will not to be able to do both....and apologize...hang your head in shame at putting people in such an awkward situation.
Yeah....just a little bit of a snark....but if you don't make it clear that you already had the "hall reserved" as they say, it may look to some that you are prempting the cousin's date.
Wanna bet the cousin will either call it off or postpone her wedding? I hope she knows what an awkward situation she created.
BUT!! BUT! BUT!! She actually called her aunt, your mother, to ask for a loan to put on a wedding on the same day as your mother's grandchild's wedding?
Good luck to ya....weddings are never easy....but what a shame that you have to deal with this jealous woman!
Linda C

Is it really appropriate for ME to send out save the dates notes or emails? I am even nervous about emailing a few people on that side of the family.

No, no, Linda -- she asked for the loan shortly after she got engaged. I doubt she had picked a date yet. Her email didn't reference Thing One's date, just that she knew the wedding would be "next year."

(Can you just imagine if my mom had loaned her the money, and THEN she picked Thing One's date? It would have been a lot harder to be gracious about it then!)

Nina is my late dad's great-niece. One reason my mom wasn't inclined to loan her the money was that a couple of years ago she asked to borrow an enormous sum to help her and her mom and siblings with some debts and expenses. She really has worked hard and carried the load a lot, but she didn't seem very realistic about managing money. Anyway, the point is that my mom just couldn't believe that someone who had all these debts and financial obligations would even consider spending many thousands on an expensive wedding.

While I am being catty ... I saw today that she already has a registry up on line, with over 100 items, many costing hundreds of dollars (and one well over $1000) -- and not sets of china, but, like, a $300 pot and a $500 coffee maker. To each her own, but I don't get it.

I don't think she's jealous or mean. She's a very sweet person and I know she is fond of us. I think she probably just mixed up the date or forgot all about Thing One's upcoming wedding when she picked her date.

gellchom, you are too kind....
Don't send a formal "save the date" card....just a note as to when the wedding will be...perhaps with a mention that you believe TO and TFMTO will get around to it soon...but "you know how busy we all get, and I just wanted you to be able to plan. We've known the date for nearly a year and now it's drawing close."
Family weddings are few and far between, and certainly joyous occasions....what a shame that people will now have to decide on which to attend.
Maybe they will elope...or choose a destination in Tahiti and you will not have to choose.
When my daughter had "set the date" 14 months before the time, and the church notified and the Club reserved and the flower guy hired and the cake lady told top save the date....and about 3 months later a "friend's" daughter got engaged and wanted to be married on the same day, same church, same Club, same florist....and called and asked if my daughter could change their date. I thought that was beyond insensitive and nervy....and told her that it wasn't possible, and it wasn't as he had his 3rd year of law school starting. So as the time got closer I asked my friend what her daughter did and when they were getting married....she said" Oh, they broke up, not getting married"...All I could think was suppose we had rearranged things to accomodate her....and she called it off.
People will figure out which wedding they will attend. When someone regrets, be gracious, say that you know, it's hard when 2 family things happen on the same day.

You know, there's really nothing you can do (except roll your eyes). Invite all the people that you want to invite to Thing One's wedding and then it's up to them to make the choice. If anyone asks why both weddings are on the same day, simply say that you were disappointed that Nina chose that date AFTER you had already reserved it.

I would send a Save the Date, or email a link to their wedding website. I personally like knowing in advance about an upcoming wedding, especially if travel is involved. Six weeks (when invitations are usually mailed)isn't enough, plus there will be those who would prefer to come to your wedding but may have already bought plane tickets for Nina's wedding.

Nina's a stinker. She should change her date. She picked your date, not vice versa, plus she is older and in debt to your mother. It's the least she could do.

You know, there's really nothing you can do
Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. And I also agree that Nina's a stinker. Regardless of how innocent her error may have been, once she realized the conflict she should have immediately changed her date.Because let's face it, she's just plain wrong.

But there it is and you're stuck with having to deal with it. So... the first thing I would do is sit down and talk to your son and future DIL about it. See what their thoughts & feelings are. I know that none of you are enamored with sending out Save the Date cards, but in this case, maybe it's called for. I agree that people are just going to have to bite the bullet and make the decision as to whose wedding to go to, so it's really up to you to make sure they make an educated decision. They need to know your son's date. Yeah, most of them already do. But there's no guarantee that they are going to be thinking of that at the moment they are statring at Nina's invitation and making plans to attend.

A Save the Date card (and by the way, I'm not wild about them either) will at least prompt people to mark their calendars if they haven't already done so.

When it comes down to it, some of the people who would have attended your event will end up at hers and vice versa. No getting around that. What baffles me is that Nina must also realize that she will be losing some attendees to your event.

OK, this is going to sound really cynical but here goes. What if she did this on purpose, figuring most would attend YOUR event, thereby saving her money on her elaborate wedding while still garnering the gifts? Sorry! I don't know her or anyone involved and I may be completely reading into it. But I just can't understand how it behooves her to not change her date.

LOL!!! Oh, Lowspark, you are TOO funny. Do you really think someone would do that? (By the way -- Nina currently lives in your state; I forget if it's the same city. Know anyone in her early 40s who just got engaged?) For some reason their wedding will be in California, though.

I'm guessing she already had her deposits in when she found out about the conflict. So that would make it harder to change the date. Maybe she did, when she talked to my mom, who had the first conversation with her; if so, I'm sure my mom told her, "No, no, please don't feel you have to change your date." Who cares, anyway -- I'm sure she isn't changing it.

I think that at first all you think about is the two immediate families not being able to attend each other's weddings. But the ones who really are in the bind are the other relatives who aren't in an obvious we-must-go-to-this-one position.

Dedtired, I don't think she's in debt to my mom. If she had asked to borrow $5000 or something, she might have gotten it -- but the amount she asked was way, WAY more than that. Mom was so flabbergasted she just didn't loan her anything (I think she may have sent her a gift of $100-$500; don't recall what she finally decided to do.)

Okay, you've all persuaded me, I should send out some sort of notice about the date, preferably informal. I think Dedtired's idea of emailing a link to their wedding website is BRILLIANT! That is the excuse for my email: not, "I want to make sure you come to TO's wedding, not Nina's," but "I thought you might like to see TO's wedding website. They have some nice pictures of the two of them which might interest those of you who have never met FMTO and might want to 'meet' your future cousin." I feel especially comfortable about this because TO and FMTO do NOT have any registry info on their site. (Maybe they will once they register, but not yet.) Unlike you know who ... :-)

I will be sure to ask TO and FMTO before doing even that, though. For sure I have to know if they are planning on inviting all the little kids, etc., so I don't make a mistake.

Fortunately, when I told them about this the other day, they were disappointed, but I think their relief when it dawned on them that this means that the loose cannon relative will NOT be at THEIR wedding outweighed the disappointment!

Thank you all SO much. You have no idea how helpful you are.

Well that is the first time anyone ever called me brilliant. Thank you. I am definitely coming to YOUR wedding!

Don't forget that for people who are traveling, they may want to be sure to book a room at the "wedding discount", so you are doing them a favor if that's included on the website.

When people have their registry linked to their web site, I always jump on a gift in my price range. I really appreciate the suggestions. (I'm still waiting to be thanked for $100 worth of towels I sent to a bride this summer -- I know she has a year, but still).

Oh, no, she doesn't! (Well, let me make that "they" -- I presume that there is a groom involved here, or I guess at least another bride.)

There was a convention that wedding guests had a year to send a wedding gift. Never any that brides and grooms had a year to send their thank you notes. Thank you notes for wedding gifts, as for any other gifts, should be sent as promptly as possible.

Everyone knows that brides and grooms have a lot of them to write, so it will take longer than a week or two, especially if the gift wasn't received before the wedding. But a YEAR? Sorry, not unless you were in a coma! I'd try very hard not to let any note wait longer than 2 months after the gift was received (irrespective of when the wedding was; you don't wait until after the wedding to thank people for gifts sent earlier).

I don't believe for a minute that no one ever called you brilliant before. Maybe they said "genius"?

Nina doesn't have too much in my price range. Regretfully, I will not be buying her the $2,200 item they listed. (Yes!)

OK, it's out in left field! My mind works in crazy ways. I don't know anyone who is getting married soon but that doesn't mean she doesn't live here. Ok, I didn't think about the deposits, makes sense.

I can't imagine asking a relative to borrow thousands of dollars! 5000 is a pretty big amount, and she wanted to borrow even more than that! And from someone whose grandson is also getting married. Wow. You know me, I'm of the thought that you do what you can afford. If you can afford to spend $50K on a wedding, great! But if all you can afford is coffee and cake, so be it. Going into debt for a wedding is not the best way to start off the union. But hey! What do I know?

Regarding registries, I've said this before but the entire registry process has gone way off the deep end and shows no signs of returning to reason. I blame the retail industry for this as they push couples to register for outrageous items that are either too high priced or useless. I do not blame it so much on the couples (especially the younger ones) who may not realize the ridiculousness of it all.

Although someone in her 40s should know better but I am guessing that she is caught up in the moment AND thinking about all the gifts SHE has given to all those couples who got married before her.

Wow, borrow more than $5,000 for a wedding. I'm amazed and appalled, by turns. First, I think it's a very bad thing to start a marriage by going in debt for it. Since Elery and I are on our third wedding in 12 months between his son and my girls, I can personally guarantee that none of those cost $5,000, not even his son and the bride with two dresses.

As for registries, I love 'em. I'm so bad at gifts and I obsess and second guess myself and never am satisfied with what I finally choose any way. Let me just check the registry for something in my price range and I'm happy.

then again, I don't know anyone who put anything for $2,200 on their registry, I thought the woman who asked for a KitchenAid mixer was extravagant, LOL.

Annie

This woman is so over the top I ended up feeling sorry for her. And her husband.

She's 45 and behaving this way? That's a little nuts. Gellchom, you always have such sound advice for people, particularly with regard to entertaining, I know you will handle this with grace.

This is a huge mistake on her part. I adore (most) of my extended family, but because we are so spread out, I rarely see any of them. I look forward to wedding and other events so that we can gather and would be hugely conflicted if I had to chose. She should have checked the date prior for sure, but after finding out her error, should have changed her date. Even if it meant losing out on a deposit.

I have a similar family conflict going on right now. It stinks. And just as I had come to terms with the fact that many of my cousins were going to chose a poorly timed family weekend over my son's bar mitzvah, the organizer went ahead and canceled. With a somewhat obnoxious email that was forwarded to me. I'm trying very hard not to respond. Truth is, the organizer and his family are the loose cannons that I was relieved wouldn't be attending.

A wedding for $5000? I bow down to anyone who can pull that off. I know each of my niece's weddings cost $20K. I'm sure the same weddings today would cost closer to $30K. I think it's insane. The dress, the rehearsal dinner, the church, the flowers, the invitations, the limousine, the reception (often a country club), the music, the photographer, gifts for the bridal party, etc., etc.

Guess what we got in the mail today? A "save the date" card from Nina.

It was addressed to our whole family, including Thing One and FMTO.

On the back, Nina wrote:

"Hi Y'all!
- We realize that you will be having your own major celebration.
Mazal tov!
:)
Thurgood & Nina"

Sigh.

There is just something a little off-putting to me here. I don't know, maybe I just don't like being instructed to "save the date" under any circumstances. Even "mark your calendar" would seem a little better here.

And the fact that she can't quite even bring herself to write "Thing One's wedding" instead of the general "major celebration" sort of tells me she felt funny about it, too.

Anyway, that's not important -- I'm just venting. My question is: what should we do about sending save the date cards, which Thing One and FMTO have now decided to do, to Nina and her immediate family? To the other relatives? Obviously, Nina doesn't think there is anything wrong with it. But I don't want my other cousins to have the same slightly "off" impression I did. And I don't want it to look like, "No, no, save the date for US, not Nina!"

You all give me very good advice. What do you think?

(p.s. -- yes, Nina's card contains the URL for the wedding web site, including that registry!)

Well, Thing One and FMTO sent out save the date cards, to out of town guests only, after all. I wish they wouldn't have put up the registry on the web site until well after people got those cards, but I'm certainly going to keep my mouth shut about that one. We are still sending them addresses, so they aren't all out yet.

Last weekend I went to another cousin's (second) wedding in Boston. The bride is the daughter of my uncle, who is very close with Nina and her mom and sister; he may have loaned her money for the wedding -- he's listed like a parent in the wedding party page of her wedding web site.

So it surprised me that Nina was not there, and neither were her mom or siblings. It would indeed have been expensive to travel for all of them, so good for them, but money seems to be no object for her wedding plans -- who knows, but I found it strange.

The other cousins (other than that uncle) that I talked to -- VERY CAREFULLY! -- all said that they weren't planning on going to Nina's wedding. They hadn't heard about Thing One's date yet (I just collected their current addresses at this wedding and sent them to Thing One). Those that already did know are planning on coming to Thing One's. The others that I spoke to said they are going to try or aren't sure (I wouldn't blame the family of 6 that would have to travel across the country for not showing up!).

You would have been SO PROUD of how those conversations went. I made sure to say that we're sure she didn't do it on purpose and that no one is mad, that we know that it puts people in an awkward position, and that we want to do whatever we can to make it easier.

By the way, here is the message that Nina sent me (on Facebook) on Dec. 29:

"Hi [Gellchom]!
Your Mom emailed me today that [Thing One] and I have the same wedding date. I am so sorry! I had no idea that they picked that date. In hindsight I wish I would have checked with you. All I knew was that they were engaged last March...so I made some assumptions that I should have verified before we booked our venue. Again, I'm so sorry!

As your Mom said, it will be a fun day for all. Unfortunately we'll be celebrating in two different cities.

Love to u all and happy new year!"

So I think we can at least give her points for apologizing sweetly.

Well, maybe points for apologizing nicely, I still think she should have re-scheduled hers.

You are handling everything so gracefully, you are much better than I think I would be.

Dedtired, Amanda's wedding cost a bit over $3,000. Ashley's is going to be a little more expensive, because she invited more people. Of course, that's with our traditional "pot luck" wedding reception and me baking the wedding cake. (grin)

Still, with that money we've managed to feed 300 people, get nice wedding dresses, rent halls, get DJs for music, hire bartenders and serve beer and wine, as well as send out invitations and hire a photographer.

I have to admit, though, that's doing nearly EVERYTHING ourselves, without the benefit of a wedding planner, a caterer, a florist or a seamstress, so it's a LOT of work.

Annie

"Sweetly" you say? Mmmm...? no agenda at all??
She knew what was what.....but it's so "sweet" to not realiz3e it...
Gellcom....you are a saint....and so apparantly is Thing One and his BTB.

Oh, Linda, you're giving me too much credit. Now that I have gotten past the awkward task of letting people know about the conflict, it is turning out not to be a big deal after all. Nearly everyone I would have been very disappointed not to have attend is not planning on attending Nina's wedding anyway, so if they can't come, it won't be because of that. And remember what I wrote above about the "silver lining" ...!

What agenda do you suspect she has? I can't think what it could be -- evidently I'm missing something (probably something obvious). But you'll have to take my word for it that she isn't a mean person at all. She's just kind of clueless, I think.

This string is becoming more "Nina's wedding update" than Thing One's, isn't it! Here's the latest --

Today we received the invitation to Nina's wedding. Yes, 3 1/2 months in advance. (TO and FMTO haven't even ordered theirs yet, but that's another story -- her mom is leaning on them for that, so I don't have to.)

Here's my favorite part: She got my name wrong. Also both DH's and my honorifics.

I never changed my name, and DH is clergy, so we are Ms. Jane Doe and Cantor John Smith. Always have been. Nina definitely knows this.

But the invitation is addressed (by a calligrapher) to

Mr. John Smith and
Mrs. Jane Doe-Smith

Oh, Nina .... The calligrapher had no way of knowing our correct names or DH's title, but I would have thought that s/he would have known not to use "Mrs." for someone with a different last name from her husband's.

Well, time to go take out a loan to buy her a gift from her registry ....

So perhaps Nina doesn't have an agenda....but her mother does.
That's beyond rude....and as you describe the circumstances, hardly accidental.
Smile and send a sweet note about how you would love to be at her wedding but unfortunately TO will be getting married that very day...in addition, of course, to the de rugeur "Ms Wasserface Smith and Cantor Jon Jones regret...."
The agenda is to "one up" you and TO and FTO...I am guessing that Nina's mother is intimidated by you and the Cantor.

Oops, I see I was misleading -- "her mom" referred to FMTO's mom, not Nina's. I meant that FMTO's mom is worried (as am I) that they are behind schedule on the invitations. Nothing to do with Nina.

I don't think Nina's mom sent the invitations or is planning the wedding; I think Nina and her fiance are doing it themselves. She's 43, remember.

Lol -- I doubt anyone is intimidated by me! They love us. I think they are just clueless -- and, in the case of my name, I guess careless. My kidz' names are hyphenated, but mine never has been; it could have been an honest mistake, but she really should have taken 10 seconds to check an old email or my facebook page to make sure. But I really don't think she would do it to be hostile.

Even if they did try to "one up" us, they won't! :-) I am actually starting to feel sorry for her because I think almost all the cousins are going to come to Thing One's wedding, not hers. At least she will rack up a little less debt.

What do you suppose is up with 3 1/2 months?

What do you suppose is up with 3 1/2 months?

Remember what I said....to one up you....or perhaps she's afraid you will one up them.

I spent all afternoon at a bridal shop with a good friend who's daughter was my daughter's bride's maid.....and now her daughter is getting married....my friend's grand daughter.....the date is May 19 th 2021. She just finished her sophomore year....as has he....she plans on her masters and he is pre med...OY!
Grandmother was urging her not to make a decision for about 6 months....as styles may change. It was a day of wedding dresses Bride's maid's dressed and MOB dresses....fun...but they do get wrapped up in the preparations.....and I can imagine even more so for someone old enough to be this 20 year old dolly's mother.

3 1/2 months, eh? do you suppose she is afraid he will get cold feet and she can say....but the invitations are sent!
Linda C

May 19, 2021??? I'm guessing that's a typo for 2012 or else they're REALLY planning ahead :-)

"3 1/2 months, eh? do you suppose she is afraid he will get cold feet and she can say....but the invitations are sent!"

LindaC, you have a delightfully evil imagination!

And it's especially delightful because I know it's all because you want to be supportive of me. GW people are the BEST.

If I had a daughter who was a sophomore and got engaged, I'd PREFER that the wedding be planned for 2021, not 2012.

Yeahbut...I am afraid I meant twenty twelve....
I have been invited to 2 weddings that were called off after the invitations were out, and a few others that certainly should have been.
Hoping your cousin is just over eager and not really afraid her fiance will bolt. Has he been married before?
I also think it's a bit in poor taste to do all the young girl bridey stuff when the bride is not a young woman. I don't know if she will wear a veil and a big pouffy dress and throw the bouquet and toss the garter and the men carry the bride groom around on their shoulders. Will her mother wear a krenzel crown?
I know everyone is very happy for Nina, but at 43 to do the wedding web site and the save the date AND invitations out 3 months ahead and the very expensive registry seems to me a little like mutton dressed as lamb.
A few years back, a mid fifties spinster career woman and a fairly recent widower decided to marry. They placed the banns ( which is a long outmoded custom) and everyone laughed, sent invitations and announcements stating "The late Mr and Mrs Wassername announce the marriage of their daughter....." The bride wore a white pouffy dress and a veil over her white hair and the wedding picture was posted in the paper......and everyone laughed. Unfortunately he died within a few months leaving her exactly as before but she now chose to be known as Mrs. Rose Hisname.
Strange situation....wouldn't you love to be a mouse in the corner?

What do you suppose is up with 3 1/2 months?

...

I am actually starting to feel sorry for her because I think almost all the cousins are going to come to Thing One's wedding, not hers

My guess: she's hoping all those cousins will go ahead and commit to her wedding now and forget all about your son's wedding in the meantime. I know, I know, they are clueless and guileless, etc. But as Goldfinger said (in the movie), "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

Lindac, Nina's fiance has a son, so that's at least evidence of a prior marriage, but who knows? I've never met him. They live very far away from me.

Oy, lowspark, you do make a good point! But I have to tell you, I am starting to feel so sorry for her for what a fool she is making of herself -- assuming other people see her wedding website, weekend plans, and registry as I do -- that it's hard to be angry. And it remains to be seen who goes to which wedding -- or neither. My favorite two families are coming to Thing One's; my un-favorite family is going to Nina's. Of course her immediate family is going to hers; we'll miss them, but it's no big deal, and I'm not sure that Nina and her family would have been able to come to Thing One's anyway. Of the other three families, one is probably coming to Thing One's (and definitely not to Nina's), and one might well not have been able to come to Thing One's anyway (that family of 6 that lives across the country, and they just saw most of us at another wedding and will see us at their daughter's bat mitzvah next year). That leaves just one other family that we would love to have, but if they go to Nina's instead, the world won't end.

Okay, here's the latest catty comment on Nina's plans. I had to go to her wedding web site to give our regrets. You had to respond to each thing during the weekend separately. The thing I found really strange was the event the night before the wedding: a cocktail party, but with a cash bar ("We'll be providing snacks!"). I assume that they aren't planning on very substantial food, because they also offer to help you make dinner reservations at area restaurants for afterward.

Does that strike anyone else as oddly as it struck me? I mean, I don't ever like cash bars, but for a COCKTAIL party? Seems backward -- like giving a dinner party and providing beverages but having a cash buffet.

There were a few other odd things, but that's my favorite.

I also noticed that they spelled his own son's name wrong. So I guess I shouldn't take it personally that they got mine wrong on my invitation!

Gellchom, we spelled Elery's name wrong on Amanda's wedding invitations and we managed to get "Mrs. and Mrs. Jon Kolk" on Ashley's, so the misspelling wouldn't be something I'd take personally, LOL.

The rest, though, I'd be ticked. And I agree, a cocktail party with a cash bar is just strange. I've never been to or known anyone who has had a cocktail party, but I always thought they involved.....well.....cocktails!

Annie

Well you know *I* agree regarding the cash bar. It's tacky to invite people and then have them pay for anything IMO. If you can't afford a cocktail party then just don't have one. I've been to some low cost rehearsal dinners, backyard BBQ for example, which were lovely! No need to serve expensive food or beverages if there's no money for it. The idea is to celebrate the event and the hosts should, well, HOST! So yes, the whole thing seems odd to me. Come drink with us but oh, pay for your own drinks. And by the way, you'll also need to get your own dinner. Ummm... so exactly how is that THEIR party?

Oh well... I guess there is reason to feel sorry for her, except that it's all her own doing. It IS all kind of sad though.

Could it be that there is a rehersal dinner for "a select few" the night before and this is their way of "sort of hosting" the rest of the out of town guests?
But it would have been nicer if they had said something like...
"We will provide snacks for those of you who want to gather in the hotel bar before dinner"...
But I'll bet that's not what they meant....they will be in the bar waiting for those who are buying their won drinks to buy one for the bride and groom.

Wondering....how old is the son?
Linda C

According to the web site, he is a junior in high school.

I think it IS the "rehearsal dinner." On the web site, here is what it says about that party. Mea culpa -- I see that it does NOT actually say "cocktail party" -- but it says "Happy Hour." Do you think that makes a difference?

***

Before The Big Event aka The Rehearsal "Dinner"

Let's get this party started!
Please join us at [venue] for Happy Hour and snacks from 4-6pm. [info about venue]
After Happy Hour, please let us know if we can help you to make reservations for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants nearby.
This is open to all invited guests and will be a cash bar. Snacks are our treat. Please RSVP so we will have enough space reserved.

***

I don't think Nina is trying to pull a fast one on anyone. She's nice. I think they just didn't realize how this would look, especially in light of the expensive wedding venue and the extravagant registry.

a cocktail party is an event in and of itself....happy hour implies an hour of drinks before dinner...or after work.

Funny, I was invited to a wedding at "my" club. Nothing was said about bar or whatever.... They had a keg set up and a full bar...I went to the bar and ordered a Scotch...and a couple more during the course of the evening. didn't know it was a "cash bar" until I got my bill!! LOL! The bartender knew me, knew what brand I drank....and charged my account! Yeah....tacky but I didn't know it at the time!

At least they are spelling it out clearly who pays for what, no ambiguity there.

I'll be curious to see what the "snacks" are going to be, peanuts and pretzels?
it seems to me that they would have said hors d'oeuvres if that's what they were treating you all to.

Guess what came in the mail today! An invitation to Nina's wedding for Thing One and FMTO.

Now, she did ask me for their address, and I can't swear I ever got it to her. But she could easily get it several ways. But so what, who cares, that's not what's funny.

What amuses me is that this time she got Thing One's name wrong!

Remember how she hyphenated my name, even though my name isn't hyphenated, unlike my children's names, which are?

Well, Thing One Doe-Smith's invitation came to Mr. Thing One Doe (she got FMTO's name right).

So we came out even -- he got my name, I got his.

What is strange is that Thing Two is on neither of our invitations, nor has she received one of her own (I am positive Nina does not have either Thing Two's current address in Israel or her school address for the fall).

It doesn't matter, because of course none of us can attend, but it keeps things interesting.

Back to Thing One's wedding ...

FMTO sent me proofs of the invitations. They are lovely! They have a pretty tree at the top. What a thrill it was to see their names in the formal text. This is getting so exciting!

Did they spell their names right? LOL!!
It is a thrill when you see it in print even if only a proof and you know it's going to happen...
your poor daughter.....excluded....doesn't even have the privilege of saying..."Sadly regrets"....or sending a gift!

Okay, enough about Nina -- back to Thing One and FMTO --

We are visiting them for a couple of days. This morning, we sealed and mailed the invitations. It was fun. Wow, now it feels so ... imminent. At last! I think that this engagement was just way too long; the fun and romance started taking a back seat to the stress of planning and decisions. Now it feels like it's back again. And the kidz will have so much fun as those response cards start coming in. I wish they were coming to me! Oh, well.

I found a dress I love and I am getting excited all over again.

good for you, I never did find a dress that I loved. I found a chocolate brown one and bought it for Amanda's wedding, it was OK and it was the right color.

For Ashley's I bought a dress 2 days before the wedding, black. Mostly because by that time I was so tired I didn't care. I actually bought two because I didn't feel like trying them on at the store, and I took one back because it was more low cut than the other.

I'll never wear either of them again, I'm sure.

Annie