atta girl update

14 years ago

Thanks for all your well wishes. It was actually handled in a way to minimize confrontation.

The meeting began as a regular meeting. After a while, the pres went outside with my son's coach (he is a fellow board member). The pres returned a few minutes later alone. Then he told me they were going to discuss it and offered me the chance to update the board on the situation. He also said that the board would discuss the matter without me, after I had spoken. Fair enough. This way, the decision is made without me and is more impartial. I was okay with that. So I gave a factual account of the events, even took some blame because as a board member I should have been able to better prevent the situation in the first place. I ended my presentation by saying that I wasn't asking for equal playing time, but equal development. Because that is what it is all about.

I got a call later on in the evening from the pres. He said they voted to suspend the coach for one game and that the ass't coaches were told to play the three kids who get little playing time at least 3 shifts per period (three periods in a game). In one game, my son and his two teammates will play more than they played in a four game tournament.

According to the pres, the coach was "terse" which means pissed. He was told that the board supports him and just wants him to fix this. His response was that the problem was with just one parent (me). The pres said that they have received lots of call from other parents too.

Fast forward to today. In my inbox is an email from the coach telling the board he is resigning as a board member and the coach.

So that is it. I haven't said anything to anyone or my son because I half expect more drama and people asking him to stay. I am not happy with the outcome because he also pulled his son from the program and that hurts his son. It now looks very me vs. him, instead of it being a case where we could have helped him learn to be a better coach during his first year.

Sorry so long.

Jo

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (14)

centralcacyclist
14 years ago
I'm sorry about the outcome but not surprised given your previous descriptions of his temperament.

It opens the ways for better things to come. Hugs.
jessyf
14 years ago
Whew.

Good teaching moment for your kids as well.
Related Discussions
Our baby girl turned a year old ....a little update :O)
Q
Comments (27)
You have a darling little girl there! I love all those cute faces she makes. She really does look like the entertainer for the bunch. Cute pictures of a real cute girl.
...See More
Girls rooms need update.
Q
Comments (6)
With so much color on the floor, don't put a lot of color on the wall. Stick with a neutral or even white. Add pattern with bedding. The black/navy/pink in these would look good with the navy rug. Or the hot pink with the other carpet. https://www.wayfair.com/bed-bath/pdp/crayola-llc-flutter-reversible-comforter-set-ubd1967.html?piid=24442549 https://www.wayfair.com/bed-bath/pdp/fiesta-lucia-comforter-set-fbbb1054.html?piid=17572728 Or if you don't like florals. https://www.wayfair.com/bed-bath/pdp/zoomie-kids-glenna-comforter-set-zmie2531.html?piid=21774058 https://www.wayfair.com/bed-bath/pdp/zoomie-kids-lewes-comforter-set-dsgc1059.html?piid=33476236
...See More
Any Ideas to Update Golden Girl's Bathroom?
Q
Comments (14)
In my mind, start first with function and flow. If there's something about the function and flow of the bathroom that you don't like, fix that first. As people have mentioned, are the countertops the right height, does the lighting work, venting, materials holding up, tub finish and surround in good shape, etc. Then, what do you hate the most? Sounds to me you don't like the color scheme. Then in my mind, although I can't see clearly, it's the brown and beige flooring that is giving you the most unhappiness. While real stone countertops are nice, you can live without them. If you hate them also though, replace them too. New cabinets won't be that much more expensive, but real wood ones can be repainted with fairly good results. They are the least of your worries from every perspective. The flooring has to flow with the bedroom flooring. Not necessarily match but not fight . . . I'd start with the flooring because that is the easiest to replace before you get all your furniture in. Chose something neutral but in a color you like. You have one of the worst offenders from the 80s and 90s IMHO, that beige checkerboard vinyl or tile flooring with brown grout or simulated grout. It's just not restful on the eyes. We had that in our kitchen and were immediately so much happier when we replaced it with a more neutral overall pattern that didn't shout "Pavement!" Fancy fru fru touches can be added elsewhere. No one ever regrets putting in high quality, neutral flexible flooring, IMHO. People usually put expensive high style flooring in a smaller room if they are of modest means. If you're doing the whole house with new flooring, do that first. Come up with the color palette that you like for the house. Then go from there. We have neutral walls and neutral wood and vinyl flooring in our house, very flexible as to many ways to decorate. Even easy to change out as your tastes change our you get sick of some colors. That's the way your house is now, it's just done with a palette that you don't like . . . If you don't like the brown trim that's easy to paint now too. Once you do that, and change out the shower curtain to something you like, you will be surprised at how much less the bathroom bothers you . . . at that point, see where your budget is and go from there. At my last house, I had a hideous bathroom with aquarium blue trim and wainscoting. The previous owners had a shower curtain with giant fish on it. It dominated the room. I changed it out for plain white and immediately the bathroom was less onerous . . . In my case, the tub and tub surround was shot, so that's where we spent our money. Even with the aquarium blue, the whole thing became instantly a different vibe, without a strong contrast, the blue was much less noticeable. That's why I say go for function with your money. The new fixtures, refinished tub and tub surround with nice tile instead of a plastic molded thing that had worn out, was a dramatic change in the function of that space and therefore my happiness.
...See More
Good News Update about Little Girl and Mommy
Q
Comments (24)
This is wonderful news! So glad you can get back to peaceful and loving celebration with your family! Continued healing thoughts sent your way!
...See More
lowspark
14 years ago
Some people simply never outgrow the "I'm gonna take my ball and go home" method of behavior. It's definitely unfortunate for his son, not only because he is being pulled out of the program but also because he is learning how to handle situations like this in the future by watching his dad.

Since the board effectively backed you, it's clear you're in the right. It's still a very tough situation.
sally2_gw
14 years ago
Well, Jo, I'm behind you 100%, but I understand how this is not the outcome you wanted. I hope it works out for the best in the long run. It's a sad situation.

Sally
User
14 years ago
This is a good outcome.

Sadly, his son has already learned the father's bad habits, he has to live with his father every day. This won't matter much to the son except that he can't play hockey now. That will be a disappointment, he may eventually (though not likely) understand how his father was at fault.

It's good for the team, the stress is gone, now they can get on with playing hockey and having a good time.
lindac
14 years ago
You knew it would be this way....he can't "change". To do so would be to admit that he wasn't the "best coach ever".
Wonder what he's going to tell people was the reason for quitting? My money is on "personality conflict"!
Good that he and his bad attitude are no longer coaching the kids.
Linda C
Georgysmom
14 years ago
I think it's a good outcome...shows his true colors. If he was a great coach, he'd be open to constructive criticism. There's always room for all of us to learn something no matter how good we are at anything.
shaun
14 years ago
Wow. His poor son. Look what he's teaching him.
arabellamiller
14 years ago
I'm just sorry you suffered through most of the season with this jerk. Stinks for his kid, but that's probably the least of the poor kid's issues with a dad like that. He showed his true colors for sure.

Who's going to coach through the end of the season?
KatieC
14 years ago
Too late for the attagirl, but.....Attagirl! Isn't it a shame that the guy's kid has to suffer, but you did the right thing. I hope your next coach 'gets it'.
beanthere_dunthat
14 years ago
Unbelievable how some peopel think they are the center of the universe and have such a "my way or the highway" mindset. The kids are better off without that.

And I think you are very smart not to say anything just yet. Keeps you out of the drama.
dedtired
14 years ago
Whata childish response from the coach and what a poor example for his son. Godd riddance to him. I do understand how you feel and I know it's not what you wanted but that was his choice, not your's.

Atta girl!
vacuumfreak
14 years ago
I'm glad he's not going to be affecting the kids anymore. His ego really shone through now! Sorry, it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, but maybe it is the best for everyone concerned.
Tracey_OH
14 years ago
What a mess. All this drama about a children's sports team. When my boys (12&8) started playing sports, it was quite eye opening. Grown men acting like the kids were playing in the world series instead of 7/8 year old baseball. Part of the reason my DH usually coaches. Anyways, good for you for taking a stand and sticking to your guns. Hope they have a much better end of the season.

atta girl update

Comments (14)

centralcacyclist

jessyf

Related Discussions

lowspark

sally2_gw

User

lindac

Georgysmom

shaun

arabellamiller

KatieC

beanthere_dunthat

dedtired

vacuumfreak

Tracey_OH

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US