Return to the Cooking Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
We lost Max's Mom

Posted by lsr2002 (My Page) on
Sat, Jan 30, 10 at 19:07

Helen, Max's mother, died very unexpectedly on Jan. 22. We are both unbelieving and devastated. She went in to the hospital on the 21st for an elective pacemaker, although her cardiologist said it would not be elective in another six to twelve months. There was a complication during the surgery and her ventricle was perforated by the screw on the pacemaker wire. She started to bleed and a drain was put in immediately and the blood put back into her leg. The tiny hole clotted over and the procedure was finished with the pacemaker working perfectly. My cardiac surgeon was on standby in the OR but advised against open heart surgery because the problem appeared to be resolved. She was taken to ICU overnight for observation and a drain had been inserted in case there was further bleeding. She was alert and talking and able to eat a liquid dinner. There was no bleeding in the next twenty four hours and the drain was removed. An ICU nurse was with her at all times.

We were at the hospital throughout the day and talked with her. The next morning Max went to see her before going to his office. She was joking and talking about the Dinner Theatre plans we had with her for the following Sunday. In the afternoon, several hours after the drain had been removed, they were finishing the paper work to move her out of ICU, she was talking with her nurse and suddenly slumped over and arrested. They tried for forty five minutes to restart her heart, both in ICU and the heart cath lab.

Her Dr. has done almost 800 pacemaker procedures and never lost a patient. He has been her cardiologist for years; he spent nearly two hours with us and with our son and his family when they arrived at the hospital. Her death was just impossible for any of us to comprehend.

There was a Rosary and Mass of Christian Burial at the church she had attended here for sixteen years. We found a large tray of her Christmas cookies in her freezer and served them at the luncheon afterward and at our house for those who stopped by later in the day.

Max's DB and SIL flew up from Santa Fe and stayed for a day and a half to help us start to go through her things. They flew back home and Max and I and our son and DIL flew to Chicago for her interment in a mausoleum next to her husband and younger son. A priest from the church she attended there, before she moved to Boulder, did the Rite of Committal at the mausoleum Chapel.

We all flew back last night. We will miss her very much. Thank you for reading this - I guess I needed to write it out because I'm still trying the absorb the reality of losing her.

Please mention Helen in your prayers.

Lee


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I'm so saddened to read this. Please know that Max's mother and your family are in our prayers. It is so hard...

Tomorrow starts our Catholic Schools Week with a beautiful Mass. I will be thinking of your family as we go through the week of Faith, Knowledge, Disipline and Morals. Please know, that special intentions will be sent to the alter for you and your family.

I wish there was something else I could do. I will be thinking of you and will keep you and your family in my prayers.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I am so very sorry. Today is the 4th anniversary of my mom's passing so this hit me extra hard. We have so much faith in our doctors and technology but sometimes God has a different answer/path. My mom's heart surgeon had never lost a patient in surgery. She didn't die in surgery but couldn't recover from heart/lung/kidney problems.

Sometimes things happen outside of doctors control. I am so very sorry and understand the heartbreak. We as humans must follow the cycle of life/death that everything does here on earth, but it sure is hard. There is no precription to make the hurt any less. We somehow have to endure and figure out a way to go on...but it sure the hell is hard...and hopefully someday we will learn the reason for this pain we have to endure on this earth. We have joy, but we also have unbelievable heartache.

Bless you and the family. My tears and thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

Duane


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Max and Lee. I can't imagine what a terrible blow it must have been to lose her when she seemed to be recuperating so well.

Sending you both my sincere condolences and wishes for your strength through these sad days.

SharonCb


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Oh my....so hard.
But dying with a freezer full of cookies...amazing.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you come to the reality of your loss.
Linda C


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Oh Lee, I'm so sorry. I know that Helen was a big part of your lives and how much you loved her.

My thoughts are with you and Max.

Ann


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry for your loss. Please continue to write about her here if it helps you in any way.

Jo


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Oh dear, Lee, I am so sorry to hear of you and Max losing Helen so suddenly.

You will all certainly be in my prayers, for peace and strength.

Annie


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is always so difficult, but when it is completely unexpected like this it seems to be even harder. We are all hear for you.

Alexa


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry Lee. I will certainly remember her and all of you in my prayers. My sympathies to the family.
I hope you are well!
Kathleen


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry for your loss of Helen. I will be praying for her and you and family. My condolences to every family member.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm so very sorry to learn of your loss. It seems incomprehensible even to read of it. My thoughts are with you and Max. Hugs.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

What a shock, my condoleances to you and your family in this difficult period.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm so sorry Lee. What a devastating loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

AM


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry about your loss. Its been ten years since my mom and MIL passed. (((hugs)))


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm so sorry Lee. It's heartbreaking..... sending my thoughts to you and your family.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

My sincere sympathies on your loss.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee - I, too, am so so sorry. I love that you shared her cookies with those who loved her though...my heart goes out to all of you.

Stacy


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry to read about the loss, my heartfelt sympathies.

Nancy


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Lee and Max. I can certainly understand your devastation.

Healing thoughts coming your way.

linda


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

My condolences too, what an awful shock! Sending hugs to you, Max and the family. We lost my MIL a couple of months ago, I understand your sorrow.
Ellen


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I am so very sad to hear this news. I know how close you all were, enjoying her company and sharing meals so often. Sending my condolences to you and Max.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I'm so sorry for you, Max, and the family. I think it was lovely that she was able to share her cookies with friends and family at the celebration of her life. I'm sure she would have been pleased.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Oh Lee, I am so very sorry for you and Max. What a shock no wonder your devastated.

Helen will be in my prayers as will you and Max.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee and Max, I'm so sorry for your loss. These things can happen so suddenly and unexpectedly especially when the person is older. Do post here often if it helps you deal with your loss. We're all here for you.

Teresa


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

What sad news. I am so sorry to hear of He;en's loss, and so unexpectedly. I suppose the only consolation is that she did not suffer a long and drawn out death. Most people hope to go that way -- participating in life until the end.

Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me remember to enjoy every minute with those I love. It can be over in an instant. How wonderful that she lives on in your good memories.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Thank you all for your support and prayers.

Christmas cookies were always a huge project for her, fourteen kinds, and dozens and dozens of each. Everyone looked forward to them each year and the plates, trays and boxes of them that were given away were always stacked high. Our son and DIL have already said that when I find her recipes (which I know are in her recipe box) that they will carry on the tradition. That is an especially wonderful gesture because our DIL already makes dozens and dozens of Italian cookies and huge stacks of pizzelles for Christmas. She told me that she and Michael had talked about making cookies with Helen next year so that the tradition would not be lost. I'm glad we have the recipes. I will take on the pies that she made for family gatherings through out the rest of the year. I haven't made more than half a dozen pies in all the years of marriage because hers were so good. I'll probably need your help with the crust.

I know she got excellent care but it was still hard for me to be in the same ICU where I spent too many weeks a year ago. Max was told several times that it was uncertain if I would survive the night but each time they pulled me through. We did not even consider a different outcome for Helen.

I am grateful for this group of friends.

Lee


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee,
I am so sorry for your loss.
Judy


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

You have my deepest condolences and are in my thoughts and prayers. This must be doubly difficult for you, considering the situation you were in earlier this year, especially since you were in the same ICU. I hope you are getting all the help you need to cope with this loss.

Lars


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Double hugs going out for you all after realizing that it was the same ICU, but a year apart.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Very sincere condolences for your loss. Know what a fine and gentle man Max is, I can imagine his mother being equally as wonderful. It must have been rough on you have to go to the the same ICU.

What a shock going from making dinner plans with Mom to making the "other" plans. I can't imaging your pain.

(((Cathy)))


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

So very sorry for your loss. What a wonderful legacy your mother-in-law left behind. Prayers for Helen and your family.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Oh, Lee, I am crying over your tragedy. Please accept my prayers for your family.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Prayers from me, too. What a sad story; it's not supposed to go that way. I'm sorry for your loss.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I too, am so sorry for your loss; it's especially hard to hear that it was unexpected. I'll be thinking of you in the days ahead.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I am so sorry for your loss! Please accept my heartfelt condolences and sincerest sympathies. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers!


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I am so saddened by your and Max's loss. The cookies and pies will be such a wonderful way to remember and honor her memory. My heart and prayers and hugs go out to you and Max.

Sally


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, couldja post a picture of her.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Very sad....My condolences to you & your family!


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Sue


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, my heart is with you and Max. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your dear mother in law/mother. No matter what age they are, is is very hard. Especially when it is so sudden.
(((virtual hugs)))
Sherry


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee, I'm so terribly sorry for yours and Max's loss. It would have been bad at any time, but to be so sudden and unexpected must be horrible. I'm keeping you both in my heart.

Beverly


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

Lee and Max, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Know that you and the family are in my thoughts and prayers.

David


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I send prayers for your strength in getting through this tough time. All the best to you and the family.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I'm sorry, Lee. My condolences to you, Max and your family.


 o
RE: We lost Max's Mom

I am so sorry, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Cooking Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here