Logfile of Trend Micro HijackThis v2.0.2 Scan saved at 2:56:16 PM, on 2/20/2009 Platform: Windows XP SP3 (WinNT 5.01.2600) MSIE: Internet Explorer v6.00 SP3 (6.00.2900.5512) Boot mode: Normal Running processes: C:\WINDOWS\System32\smss.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\winlogon.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\services.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\lsass.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\svchost.exe C:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\spoolsv.exe C:\Program Files\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\bin\AppleMobileDeviceService.exe C:\Program Files\Bonjour\mDNSResponder.exe C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jqs.exe C:\Program Files\Common Files\LightScribe\LSSrvc.exe C:\Program Files\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\VS7DEBUG\MDM.EXE C:\WINDOWS\system32\svchost.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\MsPMSPSv.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\devldr32.exe C:\WINDOWS\Explorer.EXE C:\WINDOWS\system32\wfxsnt40.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\spool\drivers\w32x86\3\hpztsb04.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\hphmon03.exe C:\Program Files\Ontrack\ZipMagic\zm32nt.exe C:\Program Files\Ahead\ODD Toolkit\DVDTray.exe C:\PROGRA~1\Verizon\SMARTB~1\MotiveSB.exe C:\WINDOWS\Samsung\PanelMgr\ssmmgr.exe C:\Program Files\JL2005A\cam_mon.exe C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunesHelper.exe C:\Program Files\Verizon\VSP\VerizonServicepoint.exe C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jusched.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\ctfmon.exe C:\WINDOWS\system32\HPHipm09.exe C:\Program Files\HP\Digital Imaging\bin\hpqimzone.exe C:\Program Files\iPod\bin\iPodService.exe C:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\Reader\AcroRd32.exe C:\Program Files\HiJackThis.exe O2 - BHO: Adobe PDF Reader Link Helper - (06849E9F-C8D7-4D59-B87D-784B7D6BE0B3) - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\ActiveX\AcroIEHelper.dll O2 - BHO: SSVHelper Class - (761497BB-D6F0-462C-B6EB-D4DAF1D92D43) - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\ssv.dll O2 - BHO: Google Toolbar Helper - (AA58ED58-01DD-4d91-8333-CF10577473F7) - c:\program files\google\googletoolbar3.dll O2 - BHO: Java(tm) Plug-In 2 SSV Helper - (DBC80044-A445-435b-BC74-9C25C1C588A9) - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jp2ssv.dll O2 - BHO: JQSIEStartDetectorImpl - (E7E6F031-17CE-4C07-BC86-EABFE594F69C) - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\lib\deploy\jqs\ie\jqs_plugin.dll O3 - Toolbar: &Google - (2318C2B1-4965-11d4-9B18-009027A5CD4F) - c:\program files\google\googletoolbar3.dll O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [WinFaxAppPortStarter] wfxsnt40.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [HPDJ Taskbar Utility] C:\WINDOWS\system32\spool\drivers\w32x86\3\hpztsb04.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [HPHmon03] C:\WINDOWS\system32\hphmon03.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [ZipMagic] C:\Program Files\Ontrack\ZipMagic\zm32nt.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [NeroFilterCheck] C:\WINDOWS\system32\NeroCheck.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [DVDTray] C:\Program Files\Ahead\ODD Toolkit\DVDTray.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [Motive SmartBridge] C:\PROGRA~1\Verizon\SMARTB~1\MotiveSB.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [Samsung PanelMgr] C:\WINDOWS\Samsung\PanelMgr\ssmmgr.exe /autorun O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [CAMMON_JL2005A] C:\Program Files\JL2005A\cam_mon O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [AppleSyncNotifier] C:\Program Files\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\bin\AppleSyncNotifier.exe O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [QuickTime Task] "C:\Program Files\QuickTime\QTTask.exe" -atboottime O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [iTunesHelper] "C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunesHelper.exe" O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [VerizonServicepoint.exe] "C:\Program Files\Verizon\VSP\VerizonServicepoint.exe" /AUTORUN O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [SunJavaUpdateSched] "C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jusched.exe" O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [avast!] C:\PROGRA~1\ALWILS~1\Avast4\ashDisp.exe O4 - HKLM\..\RunServices: [ZipMagic] C:\Program Files\Ontrack\ZipMagic\zm32nt.exe O4 - HKCU\..\Run: [ctfmon.exe] C:\WINDOWS\system32\ctfmon.exe O4 - HKCU\..\Run: [TClockEx] C:\Program Files\TClockEx\TCLOCKEX.EXE O4 - Global Startup: Adobe Gamma Loader.exe.lnk = C:\Program Files\Common Files\Adobe\Calibration\Adobe Gamma Loader.exe O4 - Global Startup: HP Image Zone Fast Start.lnk = C:\Program Files\HP\Digital Imaging\bin\hpqthb08.exe O8 - Extra context menu item: E&xport to Microsoft Excel - res://C:\PROGRA~1\MICROS~2\OFFICE11\EXCEL.EXE/3000 O9 - Extra button: (no name) - (08B0E5C0-4FCB-11CF-AAA5-00401C608501) - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jp2iexp.dll O9 - Extra 'Tools' menuitem: Sun Java Console - (08B0E5C0-4FCB-11CF-AAA5-00401C608501) - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jp2iexp.dll O16 - DPF: (01010E00-5E80-11D8-9E86-0007E96C65AE) - http://www.symantec.com/techsupp/asa/ctrl/tgctlsi.cab O16 - DPF: (17492023-C23A-453E-A040-C7C580BBF700) (Windows Genuine Advantage Validation Tool) - http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?linkid=39204 O16 - DPF: (640B39C1-D713-464F-92C3-75BD972B95EE) - http://www.sidestep.com/get/k42037/sb02b.cab O16 - DPF: (6E32070A-766D-4EE6-879C-DC1FA91D2FC3) (MUWebControl Class) - http://update.microsoft.com/microsoftupdate/v6/V5Controls/en/x86/client/muweb_site.cab?1142949036440 O16 - DPF: (90C9629E-CD32-11D3-BBFB-00105A1F0D68) (InstallShield International Setup Player) - http://www.installengine.com/engine/isetup.cab O23 - Service: Apple Mobile Device - Apple Inc. - C:\Program Files\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\bin\AppleMobileDeviceService.exe O23 - Service: avast! iAVS4 Control Service (aswUpdSv) - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\aswUpdSv.exe O23 - Service: avast! Antivirus - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashServ.exe O23 - Service: avast! Mail Scanner - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashMaiSv.exe O23 - Service: avast! Web Scanner - ALWIL Software - C:\Program Files\Alwil Software\Avast4\ashWebSv.exe O23 - Service: Bonjour Service - Apple Inc. - C:\Program Files\Bonjour\mDNSResponder.exe O23 - Service: iPod Service - Apple Inc. - C:\Program Files\iPod\bin\iPodService.exe O23 - Service: Java Quick Starter (JavaQuickStarterService) - Sun Microsystems, Inc. - C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\jqs.exe O23 - Service: LightScribeService Direct Disc Labeling Service (LightScribeService) - Hewlett-Packard Company - C:\Program Files\Common Files\LightScribe\LSSrvc.exe O23 - Service: Pml Driver - HP - C:\WINDOWS\system32\HPHipm09.exe -- End of file - 6191 bytes

Some avoid IE on the notion that malware is most often aimed at Windows and it's suite of applications. There's good reason they target those. The close interaction among Microsoft products give them multiple ways to get in. But of course, many people use them and never have a malware problem, because they (1) don't indiscriminately download or open every piece of junk someone forwards to them, (2) they don't open everything a web site invites them to open, (3) they keep a good antivirus/malware program up to date, and (4) they religiously install all MS security patches and service packs. Some take some pleasure in not using EI as sort of a defiant act against MS. There's some perverse bragging also going on. They don't use the browser of the ignorant masses, they use , preferably something the listener hasn't heard of. Kind of like sneering at AOL users. Email clients are mostly just personal preferences, and it's often just whatever they happened to start with. Some are a bit better for one or another persons particular email habits. Note that, since you're using XP, if it was bought many years ago and you're using IE version 6, it is no longer secure, and you should long ago have upgraded. You should also be sure you're now running XP Service Pack 3. Go to: http://support.microsoft.com/ If you have not kept up with security upgrades and service packs, block out some considerable time to download and install everything you need.

Lynn, When you visit the 'Windows Update' website Welcome to Microsoft Update you will be 'flashed', not by Ray Stevens and 'The Streak', but by Microsoft checking to see if you have the latest Windows updating software which validates that you have a legitimate copy of 'Windows' (it's called, or was, 'WGA' Windows Genuine Advantage). That's the valdiation you were talking about. Microsoft on occasion will upgrade their 'Validation' tool. After it has validated that your copy of Windows is legit it will give you the option of 'Express' or 'Custom' (which includes other options that Windows feels you might need, such as 'drivers', etc.) install. I prefer not to use those. For all practical purposes the 'Express' (Get high priority updates- Recommended)option should scan your computer and let you know exactly what you need (with a few exceptions). If you use any of the Microsoft office products, such as the Microsoft Office 'Power Point' or 'Excel' viewers, 'Windows Updates' will not cover updates for that software unless_________. If you do use any of those Microsoft 'Word' programs (and I'm not really all that familiar with all of them)and you want to have 'Windows Update' include updates for those, what you have to do is when you open the 'Windows Updates' site there is an option to include updates for other 'Microsoft' products. I just did this a few days ago but forgot the terminoly they used. It's just a matter of clicking on a link to get 'Office'? updates now, or something to that effect. The 'Belarc' advisor does a nice job of scanning your computer and letting you know where it's deficient, including updates. If you scroll down to 'Missing Microsoft Security Hotfixes' that will tell you what Microsoft hotfixes (KB- 'Knowledge Base') fixes need to be installed for your computer. Below the 'Installed Microsoft Hotfixes' section you can see where they list those updates that have installed properly (Green checkmark), failed (Red X), etc. Clicking on 'detail' will take you to MS and explain the update. "I guess I have 2 questions:" "is there a way I can check to see if I have these updates on my computer?" Using 'Win XP' you can check what updates you have installed by going to Start/Control Panel/Change or Remove Programs/ and select 'Show Updates' at the top and scroll down to your updates. "- if I don't, how do I get them." Windows Security & Updates It's getting late and I'm under 'full sail' again (Seagrams), but if this didn't come across maybe a few of the others here, (R'C'?), could jump in and put a cap on it. Signing off for now,_____gettink to hard to coordnate the finkers. Good luck, Witz P.S. Also, if you want to put a shortcut to 'Windows Update' on your 'Desktop'(for those who don't use the 'Automatic update' feature and need a reminder) to check for the updates (they're supposed to come out the 2nd Tuesday of every month but you never know when they feel something important should be released sooner. I have gotten into the habit checking once a week. Using Win Xp, click Start/All Programs, at the top of the list you should have the 'Windows Update' link. Right click that link, scroll down to 'Send to', and select 'Desktop-create shortcut'. This will work for any of the programs you have.

Thanks to all who have shared on this thread. I too am an estranged mother from an adult son. I used to be the one saying to other estranged parents that they must have done something wrong to deserve it. No child would ever willingly want to cut off good, caring, loving parents. Then, it happened to me and I was in shock and disbelief because I am always the one OTHER people turned to for help with their children. I am a therapist, after all, and I know about interpersonal relationships - right? I spent my whole life teaching others "how to do it correctly and in a healthy way"! How shocking and shameful it was when this happened to me! Not me!! How and why could this happen?!? The past five years have been grueling to say the least. I do understand the suicide attempts by some and the difficulty moving forward with life. I read everything I can find from children who have cut off parents to try to figure out what I can do to fix it. I read the comments by those on this thread that tell us what we have done wrong. So, I have apologized repeatedly for anything and everything I have done to make my child hurt. I have repeatedly reached out to him as have multiple family members and his best friend and other friends to try to heal the rift. Every time I reach out, there is some new reason he and his wife are hurt. Some of the things they accuse me of are not true. I know they are not true because they are about how I feel - that I don't really care about them or that I don't really love them or I behaved in a certain way because I wanted to disrespect them. I can honestly say that all I want from them or anyone is to have a nice time and to love each other. They misinterpret everything I do. I still apologize but only I know how I really feel and what my true intentions were. They can't tell me that. Still, I apologize. Finally, my husband and adult daughter and other son told me to stop apologizing. They said it was making it worse and not better. They saw my pain and desperation and helplessness and it was destroying them. So, they told me to stop because they could not take the pain. So, I stopped. With regard to what CJH Design wrote about gravitating toward pleasure and away from pain, I will say this. My parents have not been easy to deal with. They are controlling and focus only on themselves. I am expected to do everything for them and they still complain. No matter how much I do, it has never been good enough and they always expect more. I have tried and tried to make them happy and I have become a major people pleaser and caregiver in my life, sacrificing everything for the wellbeing of others and especially my family. My father is older and my mother has died. I take care of him every day and it is very difficult because of how critical he is. It is not pleasant to be around him most days but I still do it. I don't do it because it is pleasurable. I do it because I love him and that is what love is. It is unselfish and it is giving, even when it is not easy or pleasant. I also remember how many times I did this for my children when they were difficult to deal with and it was not at all pleasant to care for them, give up dreams that I had, deal with the pain of their behaviors, and work full time to support them. I could have left them and gone out for more pleasurable times when I was young like some parents do instead of hanging in there, parenting when it was very difficult and certainly not fun to deal with temper tantrums, snot, sickness, and endless needs. Not fun at all. Parenting is the most difficult job on the planet and it takes a dedication to stick with it and not run from it toward a life of fun and pleasure. I believe that being unselfish and giving to others is an important value and I try to do it in my life. I also have empathy and compassion for my father because of what he has been through in his life, which I won't go into because it would take all day. I would never dream of cutting him off. My heart hurts too much when I think about the pain it would cause him. I could never do that to him, no matter how he treats me. He does not have to be pleasant all the time for me to be around him, care for him, and stay with him. I think that is what love is really. Another example: In my work I go into jails to help people in trouble with the law. I hate being locked in when I go to jails because I have a phobia. I get paid very little and the courts are not nice to me. It is definitely not pleasant. I don't do it for the pleasure or money. I do it because I want to try to help and because I believe that doing things that are right is not always easy. People do things for pleasure but I have found that meaning and purpose can come out of things we do that require a willingness to set our own desires aside for someone else or for a greater good. This is what I have learned from my estrangement from my son: Karma: I recognize there is a lesson in this for me. What am I being taught by the universe? I have struggled with this long and hard and I think I have learned that I needed too much from my son. I think I relied on him to make me happy because of the difficult relationship with my parents. I need to let him have his own life and make his own decisions. I need to move on and figure out what I need myself and not rely on him so much. I also think I learned that I have been too critical and judgmental of others in my life. I need to try to be more understanding, compassionate, and less focused on who is right and who is wrong. Money: I gave my son everything he ever needed. I paid for his degree, paid for him to travel all over the world, and paid for several cars, and for anything else he needed ever. He now has a good job and is making far more than I ever did. I had to work several jobs to give him what he needed. He does not need my money now but the rift did seem to be about money as far as I can tell. Here is what I have decided I need to do to find meaning in life: I am going to use the money I earn and have to give to others in the world who don't have anything. I am going to travel with organizations that help others and use my money to help them. I am going to give of myself also, because that is more important than just giving money. I am going to try to improve the things for other people around the world who have far less than any of us. That is going to give me meaning and purpose and is something that I always wanted to do when I was raising my children. My daughter has indicated that she wants to do this with me and she shares in the vision. It gives me so much joy and pride to have her with me on this journey. I hope that some day my son will come back and have a relationship with me and with his family. His sister and brother are very angry with him and he does have a spouse that encouraged the cut-off from us. I hope that we can heal eventually but I am not sure if he even values his family at this point. What I have learned is that it is his decision and I must let him figure out his own life and not expect him to be there for me. I can accept this now and I am starting to have some peace so I must be on the right track. Life is a struggle and we all need to work to figure out what we are supposed to learn about ourselves. What you all have written in this thread has helped me a lot to continue figure things out myself.