Larry, You don't have to apologize. You are not dumping on us. This forum is about gardening in Oklahoma. As such, we work in a lot of topics that relate to life in Oklahoma in general and not just to gardening. I hope that's OK with everyone because we are, after all, human beings who have real lives in addition to being gardeners. Any time someone here suffers the loss of someone they love, I think they ought to be able to mention it here. Gardening, I have found, is a great form of 'therapy' whether you're dealing with a serious illness, a stressful period in your life for any reason, etc. I am a cancer survivor too,for 11 years now. My main "therapy" after I was diagnosed and had multiple surgeries was, of course, gardening. Gardening helped me deal with the stress of a chronic illness and gave me something to look forward to and to stay busy with during that difficult period in my life. I lost my dad to Alzheimer's in 2005 and, once again, gardening was one way of dealing with the pain. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself and to stay wrapped up in your grief when your garden is calling to you and demanding time and attention. So, hang in there. Let your garden help you heal and know we're always here for you, no matter what. Dawn

You can do it if it's something you really want to do! We are doing something similar -- right down to upstairs which is only two bedrooms and an icky kitchen. It is tough, dirty, exhausting work, so I recommend only taking it on as a labor of love. If you don't enjoy working on things like this, it gets old fast. So, let's see... The Good Things: -It's very satisfying to complete something yourself, whether it's tearing down a wall, wiring an outlet, or painting a room. -You can do things how you want them done. -You learn a lot. -You feel satisfaction by figuring things out on your own. I fixed our water heater the other day by myself, which is not something a lot of people will attempt. That sort of thing builds confidence. -Other people will start asking you questions about home repairs. I think that's a "good thing"... ? -Physical labor makes you sleep well. -It's an adventure. The Bad Things: -It is very tough to live in a construction zone for an extended period of time. It's hard to relax with all of the work staring you in the face. -You have to make a lot of decisions. That can be enjoyable, but it is draining. (I work full-time as well.) -We've lost friends over it. They don't want to come over because the house makes them uncomfortable. The house is clean, but they just see mess. Yes, apparently not real friends to begin with, but still, hurtful to realize. -Your back will hurt a lot. :) -Sometimes you feel like life is passing you by. This is partly because you sink so much time into the place, but also because you have to do without some things. For example, we don't have a working fireplace right now. One of my favorite things to do is sit by the fireplace with a good book on a chilly fall night. I don't get to do that right now, and it's easy to think "I could sell this place and buy a new one with a fireplace." Luckily those moods don't last too long. Advice: -You'll hear people say it takes twice as long and costs twice as much as you expect. Very true. -I'd start with roofing and siding before you do anything on the interior (if the roofing and siding need work). I'd also make sure you don't have a mouse problem (we did) or a termite problem (we didn't). Then, the first project we did was make a nice shower. It's a little slice of heaven when you are tired and sweaty. We sleep in the entryway, often eat on our laps, but by golly we do have a nice shower! -Do "mental health" projects. For example, last March, after a long winter and a bout with the flu, I painted my icky kitchen bright green. It's obnoxiously cheery, and I need that right now, even though the kitchen is not officially the part of the house we're working on. Anyway, good luck, whatever you decide.

How sweet. On the painting, I want to again, but mosaic is a carnivorous hobby. You were the one who said there's a carnival going on in my mind. I'll give you an example of that. In an add last night on t.v., a girl was peeling an orange. I saw the light through a piece of orange, and thought "how would I paint that - oh, I know, I'd add a touch of red." Nuts, huh? I remember one day trying to get the transulucency of a lemon slice and how long it took me. Yeah, that's how my mind works all the time. Wish I had five of me w/the energy of my youth.

My DH says I take WAY too much time making the decisions I have to make with our house projects. I'm the sole researcher, designer, planner and a co-hands-on executor (with DH) of our DIY building projects. It took us 5 years to do this last house. Plan, design, and contract the build. I designed and had a draftsman draw prints. I was the chick with the clipboard until the rockers left. From drywall on it has primarily been just the two of us. He has a full time job that is not building. We have made a good team, in that he has the expertise- I have the vision. We have put in countless hours making the decisions that go into these projects. Thankfully I found GW early on with researching windows. Google has led me to GW on numerous topics, which answered most of the trying technical issues. I usually only post when I get really stuck and need outside input and opinions. Mostly on decorating questions...;) IDK -- is 5 years too long to come up with a house from scratch? DIY? I have no idea; I do know my DH thought I belabored the process. As in it was a huge issue- how long I would take. But it was lots of design as you go stuff. However he is happy with the result.