Oh, this is such fun!! I snorted my calming evening tea at picturing Kim dancing the Mexican Gopher dance (Kim, can you send video along with the gophers?) Along with the Rosecavator we need an Autoscoop that predigs your new rose hole even in rocky or solid clay soil. And I'd buy the RoseAlert in a heartbeat to figure out my mystery roses. In the meantime, we have GardenWeb (smile). Here are a few more: Thornzout - to extract rose thorns embedded in your various body parts, including heels from stepping on loose canes GeigerRose - to locate those wayward rose trimmings that dropped out of your pruning buckets before you, your kids, and your husband step on them in bare feet Sayonara- to once and for all eliminate those Japanese Beetles RedSea - to magically part the roses you've planted too closely so you can pick/smell/prune the tall ones at the back BlackHole - to make more space where you really have none because you simply MUST have that new variety VolumeControl - to crank up the volume of the bloom cycle just in time for that special party, wedding, brag session... ChrissieRose - you have to remember Chrissie dolls to appreciate this name - a button you can push in the rose's "stomach" to instantly lengthen or shorten its canes to the desired height or length, and change both when your mood changes RoseMixer - a mixer panel to get that ideal color combination across the entire garden ("let's bring up the lavender and scale back the apricot"). Keep 'em coming, folks, and we'll see if we can interest any enterprising inventors. Cynthia

A spam filter for Jerod commercials, the Duggars, the 4timeFelon and Miss Piggy (not the Muppet - the cackling, racist, yeowlin' hawg), etc, that just doesn't allow them on so you don't even have to turn the channel to not put up with them. A "fire" button on the steering wheel for idiot drivers. A brightness control on people to turn up the common sense. A remote control shocker for weather forecasters when they promise 80ð (or whatever) and then make 5 minute excuses to try to wave off responsibility. Wouldn't be activated if they came right out and said "I blew it". Maybe a pie in the face? Same shocker should be used on broadcasters with their stupid teasers like "Will we have tornadoes this afternoon? I'll tell you tonight at 10!", "Coming up next/Still to come, _____" (and it doesn't show until 20 minutes later. Oh there's so many things the shocker should remedy. And not really an invention but I'd like to hire a monkey to watch the yard when people walk their dogs to do their duty on my yard instead of theirs. Once they walk away from it, the monkey would go fling the feces at them. An extra banana if you hit them in the head and 5 extra bananas if you hit them in the ear.

First thing is I would love an automatic car that drives us and flies as needed. So that if there were people in the way in every direction the car would fly over all and not hit anyone! Or phase through it if we want to get even more science fictiony. I would also want something that washes and sorts all of the recycling into the right containers. I also want a matter reorganizer. if something is needed to be made it just makes it out of old material. Then just fixes the broken thing. For the big picture I would like something that eats and automatically sucks up all the plastics and microplastics in the world and disposes of them in a safe and useful way. Then it breaks them down with bacteria or organizes them into something else with zero pollution problems or or energy problems or cost problems.

Gardener's Supply carries Cape Cod Weeder which is hard to find. I had one originally and then added a similar tool. This is my favorite hand tool except for trowels. You can drag it thru the soil to uproot weed seedlings. And, if you are unlucky enough to have a weedy grass or creeping Jenny which has long runner roots, you can combine tugging with one hand and uncovering the root with the weeder. Sometimes I will hack/chop with it for a clumpy type of weed to loosen it. Also visit a local farm and feed store. I happen to like the inexpensive gloves that are dipped in rubber so they keep my hands drier and are also good at gripping weeds. Also get my straw bales there for mulch. Bird feeders don't have to be in a permanent location. In fact, this is bear country so feeders need to be taken in by April 1. In the fall, we stick garden crook hooks near the kitchen windows where our table is. They hold a niger feeder and suet feeders. (The black oil seed and more suet are across the driveway hanging from a maple tree.) My husband also sticks a pine sapling between two crook hooks since the birds like to perch and wait their turn at the feeder. Due to layout, this is also near our kitchen porch and walkway so I have a halo dogwood next to the walkway where they also like to perch. A spreading cotoneaster has berries some of the birds like. Right now robins are enjoying the tiny crab apples on a weeping crab in the yard. Hoping we'll also see a flock of cedar waxwings feasting on the tree.