Doesn't matter either way. As long as it looks sanitary, like no smelly garbage. A few dirty dishes in a sink is not filth.

I'd rather be in a clean kitchen than a dirty one, lol, but if my friend was busy I would understand, and if she is a close friend I would help her clean up or do it for her if she was busy with a child or whatever.
If it's MY kitchen, I will quickly wash up while we visit if need be, I don't like dirty dishes.

If I'm asking about how clean MY kitchen should be when someone comes over - if I have to ask, it's not clean enough.

If I'm asking about how clean SOMEONE ELSE's kitchen should be when I go over, I should butt out - it's their kitchen.

A few things laying around is normal IMO.

My mom considers the kitchen a mess if there is a cup in the sink. No mater what I do it will never be enough for her.

It sounds like you're dealing with someone like my mom. I love her, but I don't ever invite her to dinner.

Normal is good! Normal for you might be a few dishes in the sink -- ok by me! My mother-in-law, however, would have found huge grounds for gossip! Be yourself and live your life and home your way!

If you don't like how their kitchen looks, don't go to their house.
After all, it's THEIR kitchen.
Linda C

My Mom always said, "If you drop in on someone unexpected in the morning, you shouldn`t expect the work to be done" I don`t go visit to look for mess. If I go, it`s by invitation.

I'm happy as long as the countertops aren't overly cluttered, nothing on the floor is sticky, and the table is clean! My husband used to drive everyone crazy when we had company coming. Beyond the usual - clean the floors, vacuum, quick dust - he would move the couches, the refrigerator, you name it. I finally told him that if company is looking under my couch they deserve what they find!

I have a pretty simple rule of thumb - if the kitchen looks like they could use a hand in the kitchen, I know where the cleaning products are.

I do ask people's indulgence -I have the nastiest-looking rangetop on the planet- they stopped making cooktops like it almost immediately, but it's also the kind of convection oven and fancy range top that I couldn't afford, and it works GREAT...

so that's kind of the super-twit test, if you really expect me to 'do something' about it to satisfy your standards? I'll never put you in the position to have to look at it again.

I think fear of the home's not being "clean enough" is keeping a lot of us, maybe in the 2-job families with kids, from having more get-togethers. I know it does, me. Not talking filth and news-making clutter, but just, oh, I can never get all the poofs of cat hair from the floor, or if I have time to get the kitchen really clean, then the porch needs sweeping and there are cobwebs on the front door, or if I clean up a lot the day before, DD or DH will make a pile of mail, or shoes, or something somewhere before the next evening. That sort of thing.

I'm trying to: simplify, simplify so is easier to keep clean; do more regular upkeep--it only takes a few minutes here and there but then is not so overwhelming to think about someone walking in; and also to just "get over it". My close friends could care less, I truly believe that, but still I put off doing what I would like, throwing impromptu informal dinner of pasta and salad or whatever.

The type of thing I feel most compelled to do, so might expect, if company is invited over, is that the kitchen be generally CLEAN--like, no dried egg yolk on the counter from last week, or obvious old slime in the sink--but would think nothing of seeing the dishes used to prepare dinner, or coffee cups, or whatever. Also expect to see prep work if food in progress--cutting boards, veggies being cut up, etc. There should be a place for the guest to sit, and not sit on something squishy or be afraid to lean on the counter or table!

But if you drop in on me at the end of a work day or a weekend day spent out in the yard, then the sink and counter may be piled with dishes and there will be crumbs from the most recent snack prep and so on.

So maybe you have a hidden question about a specific situation that hurt your feelings or bothered you--or are just wondering whether people expect others to be perfect.

I appreciate a pleasant neat clean home when I go visit--I appreciate the effort that people go to and I appreciate nice design and decor as well, but as above, unless something just seems unhealthy or bizaare, I'm so happy to be invited to a barbecue or supper, or to be asked to stop by and get something shared from the garden, and then if I go in the house for a Coke, or whatever, I could care less about their housekeeping. And if the person says, sorry about my house, I can usually say most honestly, gosh, what are you talking about, this is positively sterile compared to mine!

In fact, I WISH some of the homes I go visit would look a little messier, because the immaculate home makes me feel even more like I can't meet that standard.

So MY rather is, I wish we would all invite each other over more and laugh and have a simple meal--a tray of sandwiches and cookies--and worry less.

Serve more wine!

Frankie said it beautifully! If you can't stand a "little" dirt, call before you drop in!

I guess if you want to see my kitchen in a pretty clean phase, you need to stop by between 10 pm and 6 am--like many people, I guess, I try to "put the kitchen to bed" --load and start the DW, wipe counters, sink, try to put away stray pot lids and cracker boxes and the endless whatnot that tries to stay out on the counters.( but try telling other family members all the components of that--load the dishwasher and think they're done!). If I don't save up some energy and try to do this before 10pm it may not get done--I just hate trying to put on that big push when bedtime is calling. My DH has been working longer hours lately and thinks nothing of having supper at 8 or 8:30. I have nothing against that and can often wait until then to eat also--it's just that then I realize, the kitchen's "bedtime" may be put late. I've said this before, but I often make (ask) family members to take a dish break if we plan to watch a movie or show that goes to 10--no one, least of all me, wants to start doing dishes after the movie.

Someone else's kitchen just somewhat noticeably less clean than mine because I want you to notice mine is cleaner.