I buy my husband several gifts (3-5)...my 26 year old daughter about 5 gifts (she lives at home)...my 10 year old son about 10 gifts...my adult sons(2) 2 gifts each....my grandchildren (5) 1-2 gifts each. Then there are all of the other relatives, co-workers and friends (about 40)....those that buy "you" gifts and you feel bad because you didn't get them something...the paperman, mailman, etc. I also do the stocking stuffers for the immediate family and grandchildren.

How do you do this? This is becoming stressful and expensive and I am retired. Our small $500.00 Christmas savings is not sufficient and I use a little charging and more cash that is hard to come by. Need to rethink how I do this.

Oh.. Yes, we definitely include the true meaning of the holiday also.

Nita

Is this normal? I have not always done so many gifts...it is excalating for some reason. Do you do individual or family gifts? I know that this is a long post but I guess I am a little bit more stressed for some reason this year. I want to also mention...I am retired (at a young 52)...hubby is still working (smile). Nita

When our children were young, we would give one gift from us and one from Santa. We also involved the children in giving to others less fortunate (choosing a name from the tree at the mall, or something from church). My husband and I continue to give to charitables this way.

This year I bought my husband one gift, my brother one gift. Our son receives one gift from both of us. As do all the other gift giving is from both of us even if it is one gift. Our daughter and soninlaw a combined gift (luxury bed sheets. Our granddaughters were bought more, the 3 yr old a computer preschool learning program (19.00)and magnetic alphabet letters for playing on the refrigerator (3.00). The older granddaughter received Nancy Drew books (4 for 20.00 wrapped as one gift) and a small purse (8.00 with a 1.00 inside - I never give any kind of purse or wallet without a lucky penny or some amt of money).

I think one gift per person in the familiy is sufficient. For someone on a budget like I am, a gift for the married son or daughter could be something the whole family can enjoy... perhaps a movie they can watch on their vcr or dvd.

I don't buy gifts to give to others: neighbors, etc. I make cookies, pins, ornaments etc that are inexpensive to make and these are for a chosen few. The options Minnie listed are inexpensive too.

Nita, look for ways to make memories instead of just buying gifts. Bake cookies together, create a memory jar where you pull out a slips of paper with some memory you can all relate to. Talk about past Christmases, and other holidays, trips you may have made.

I hope this helps you!
Merry Christmas!!!

Rhonda

I need to re-focus however and I want to get into different types of gifts that are special and the responses have given me some good ideas. Thanks much! Nita

If the "Merry" has gone out of your Christmas, it is definitely time for a do-over!

Minnie had some wonderful and clever ideas for the candy sleighs and candles. I love Christmas ornaments and always think they are a good idea--especially when purchased in January during the clearance sales!

I would suggest that you start giving the family "new" traditions. For example, announce that the "new" tradition is that you will only fill a stocking for your 10-year old son next year. Pass along the current stockings (like passing the torch) to the parents of the grandkids and let them provide for their own kids next year. If the adults still want stockings, let them draw names. Those stockings get expensive FAST!

Your grown kids should have figured out by now you're on a fixed income. Perhaps it is time to give them each one gift? Maybe the new "tradition" could be one gift of a Christmas theme... last year after Christmas I bought a beautiful nativity set at Hallmark for $5.

How would the grown kids react if you suggested that ALL the adults (including you and your husband) exchanged names?

Or perhaps you could suggest that all the adults NOT exchange gifts, and instead do something for charity? It is, after all, the "giving" that is important. At Christmas you could have each adult explain to the family what charity they chose and why, and what they provided. Have them each bring ONE wrapped $5 ornament on Christmas, and have a pass-around until the music stops and THAT is the ornament they take home (that way they still have one gift from family to unwrap).

Best wishes for getting the "Merry" back in Christmas!

Julie

You will change things (and I know you will, right?) not because you don't receive gifts, but because it is time for a change. There is no joy in giving gifts if it is accompanied by stress in your life or in your budget!

You have an excellent start in planning for next year! Make NEW TRADITIONS for the adult family members!!

Julie

Sorry..didn't mean to rattle on so, but did feel good!
Thanks for listening! Merry Christmas to all!

I am excited about starting a new tradition and I anticipate that this will put the joy back in my giving. I actually look forward to next Christmas because I have all year to plan. I don't take these responses lightly...I always put the advice I receive into action.

Nita

Sigh I wish I could learn to hold back on the spending. It's the only time I do shop for presents mainly tho. I don't like to mall shop unless it's at the holidays. And with all the sales this year.. it was hard!

Paint Drop Hugs!
MryRose

If your family doesn't give presents, no wonder your nephews look forward to those gifts! (but feel free to spend a great deal less money--it sounds like the thought is what they value anyway; buy 'em a box of Cap'n Crunch, or something else that's more silly than it is expensive)

You know, Christmas isn't that far off!!!!

SharonG/FL

DH and I spend about $100 on each other. One year I have my sister&husband and the next year brother&wife (2 x $40). We celebrate at my sister's house and usually get something small for her in-laws (their great people) and brother-in-law (2 x $15). Nieces and nephews (6 x $35). My best friend and husband (2 x $50). Two other friends ($40 & $20) who I started guilt gifting after they gifted me (love the thought but hope to covert them to just gifting an ornament cause we all could stand to limit our spending). Neighbors who always invite us to a great Xmas party each year (deservable $15 plus homemade bread). Couple that is friends with hubby ($20 ... another one that the time has come to stop or convert to just small token). Father passed away this year and not sure what or if to get something for step-mom (we're not really close and if she did get us something it will probably be something she got at a dollar store - not due to lack of money just likes to spend the money on her own kids).

You can see that I am lacking enthusiam for a few on my list. I really believe in spending only what I can afford. I really do love finding the perfect present for someone and put lots of time and thought into picking a gift.

OTOH ... DH only has to buy for me and his grown daughter. He gets it all done in less than 3 hours! He actually does a pretty good job. Would like for him (just once) though to really put some thought into picking an amazingly special gift (you know not just a great robe but like a Magi gift). Still I count my blessing Xmas morning for having him and our puppies to share my life with.

No kids, one surviving parent, and 2 siblings... we don't exchange gifts, but do kind things for each other every day of the year.