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pattico1

Does Christmas gift shopping stress you???

Pattico1
22 years ago

I absolutely love Christmas and all the get togethers.

But the shopping truthfully stresses me.

I don't know what to buy.

I have always bought too much for my kids. They are all grown and the two oldest are married. I now have two son in laws and six grandchildren to buy for. and I STILL buy too much. Oh, not always expensive gifts but always trying to make sure that everybody has the same amount. Then I see something else that I know one would like then have to buy one more for everyone else. I know this is a problem that I make for myself. But I just don't know how to stop it. We always have such a nice Christmas, I want it to still feel the same. Is it so hard to set a limit on how much everyone shoul spend on each other? I think that is what needs to be done.

Sorry this seems long. But it is depressing for me and every year I worry about the shopping. How do you keep it fun???

Any suggestions?

Patti

Comments (18)

  • tomsmom22
    22 years ago

    When I got out on my own, it was just natural for my husband and I to set a limit. Now every year my parents get 2 items each, and one together gift, so do my in-laws. My grandparents/great grandma get 2 gifts each. My son, gets so much from everyone that it's hard to buy him anything from us, so we let it slide and do things for him throughout the year, like going to the circus and parades...

    But, I also craft all the gifts (very little buying) so it's easier for me to plan things out ahead of time, and I usually go with things that I already have the supplies for.

    The first year, we did buy all the gifts, and it was expensive, mainly b/c we bought everything at the mall and I think my husband was trying to make a good impression on my parents. But, it's not where we buy the gift that counts.

    Try to set limits and start planning early. Go to after Christmas sales this year and start super early, lol!

    Michelle

  • Jill_NC
    22 years ago

    It's not the shopping that stresses me out...it's the paying! (LOL) All of my family is out-of-state, so not only do we have to buy, but we have to pack and ship too. I was just grumbling this morning because I had two craft projects that I was racing to finish and mail this Tuesday. Can't find a box big enough and our Post Office wants boxes covered in brown paper if there's writing on them.

    My folks have always given us quite a number of gifts, but they're small and stocking stuffer-type presents. They also are big on writing "hints" on all the packages. I feel that we have to do the same, and sometimes I wish that we could start gift giving in a different direction. Maybe next year I can start making noises about that.

    As a new SAHM, I've discovered the joys of shopping on the net. Probably don't save a ton of money, but it's convenient and fun to sit in my jammy's late at night and go "shopping"!

  • crafterwannabe
    22 years ago

    Patti - I have the same "disease" but I've been trying to improve the last couple of years - not very successfully I might add. I still give our grown children a stocking - as well as the grands. What was I thinking when I started that? When I was working I made out better - I never did regular Christmas shopping early but I bought stocking gifts throughout the year. In mid-November I sort the stash and go from there. Made everything a lot easier. Since I retired (and have more time - go figure!) I seem to have gotten out of the habit. This year I'm grabbing things without giving it the thought I'd like and I don't like that. When my sister & I got married, my mom & dad continued to give us stockings but mom was creative with the stocking - one year it was a huge stainless steel bowl (I'm talking BIG), one year a basket, one year a huge car-wash bucket. They would wrap presents for both me and my husband but did not identify who it belonged to. It was great fun. My DH was opening pantyhose and I was opening a wrench! When our kids were married, I thought I'd start the same tradition. One dear d-i-l had a fit saying she never had a stocking before dating our son and she surely didn't want to share one with her new husband - lol.

    Jill is right that using the Internet sure helps. I haven't gotten real comfortable with that but do occasionally order something. Click, click and within a week it arrives at your door. One granddaughter wants a new bedspread, sham & curtains for her room. Ahhhhh! Picked up the phone & ordered it from Sears Room for Kids. (Shipping costs gripe me but in the end it's worth the savings in shopping hassles.) Now THAT'S a gift. She'll love and enjoy them and it won't be more toys that are played with for a few weeks never to be seen again (after I chased frantically trying to find them). Next year I'm using the web more and trying to go for a single better item rather than buying multiple items of lesser value (this applies no matter what your $ limit is). But of course I'll still be buying those stocking stuffers - a nice chunk of change when it's all added up. Well, I gave you no advice but I sure feel better! (grin)

    Carolyn

  • heather_on
    22 years ago

    I'm almost done and after tomorrow you won't see me in a store Christmas shopping. I'm not one that likes fighting the crowds so I try and get everything done early. Now I can stay home and enjoy Christmas.

  • Marina43
    22 years ago

    I am one of seven children, all married with children, and when the youngest had their first child we decided something had to give, everyone was so stressed out with looking and paying for so many gifts, we all decided that we would only buy for our parents and all the new generation, mum and dad were to only buy for the new generation, and we set a limit, if we want to do something for each other it must be either home made or under five dollars, but it is not expected and there are no dramas if one does and the other doesnt, dont try to even up the piles, give what you think they will like, we need to learn more about the spirit of it all, and stop tallying up who has got what, so many of my friends are worrying about the costs of buying for dozens of people, and my christmas is so much easier and enjoyable. Hope this helps, anyway have a happy christmas, try to simplify. Marina

  • Summer
    22 years ago

    I know what you mean when you said that you see something else to buy for someone, but then you have to buy more for all. How about when that happens, just save it for their birthday, so you still get to buy the item, but not for everyone else. I Christmas shop all year 'round, so it's not stressful for me. I pick up on cues from people about what they want/need all year round, so there is no problem shopping early. I also shop after Christmas for great deals.

  • dances_in_garden
    22 years ago

    In our family, if you don't send a list you are in big trouble LOL! We may not get you what is on the list, but it gives us an idea of what you would like. Sometimes it's nothing but a list of sizes, favorite colours, scents, things you like or dislike. One sister makes sure to write "I HATE CHOCOLATE" on her list. We don't know where she came from LOL.


    {{gwi:336191}}

  • Cherryfizz
    22 years ago

    I love Christmas shopping and I am a last minute shopper. I even love to go on Christmas Eve day. I just love the hustle and bustle.

    I prefer shopping outside than in a mall but our downtown in Windsor is more of an entertainment area. When I was younger we used to shop downtown on Christmas Eve day at all the department stores and then stop at Kresges for a piece of pie. All of our department stores are gone now.

    If I drove I think I would love to be a Personal Shopper. I seem to have the knack of buying the right gift for the right person. Some years I buy everyone the same type of gift. One year it may be bath items, puzzles, decorations. This year it is nightwear for the adults and charm bracelets and charms for the teenagers. My brothers are each getting a bottle of German beer in a green bottle from the Liquor Control store. The bottle is a little fancy and then can be used after for a salad dressing bottle. The lid is attatched by a wire clip.

    Throughout the year I notice what my friends say they like or need when we go shopping and then at Christmas I try to get them one of the items they say they wanted earlier in the year. I do have one close male friend that I have no idea what to get this year. I usually make him an annual box of Christmas cookies and if I don't get an idea for him that is all he may get. I was stupid in giving the gift I bought him for Christmas early. I was so excited when I found this item in an antique store I couldn't wait to give it to him. He collects streetcar, tram memorabilla and I bought him an early Cracker Jack prize that was a streetcar and I gave it to him a few weeks ago. Now I wish I waited until Christmas.

    I don't stress about shopping but I am stressing about getting my house in order so that I may put up my Christmas decorations. I tend to put things up a day or two before Christmas and then leave them up until the end of January! LOL. I have been known to have my tree up until almost Valentines Day. My friends say I should keep the tree up all year and then decorate it for each holiday LOL

    You won't see me shopping the sales on Boxing Day because I think that would be too stressful.

    Happy Holidays

    Anne

  • Softeeeeee
    22 years ago

    I also shop all year...my favorite place is abcdistributing.com They send out a cataloge to my work, and I am addicted to purchasing items. The nice thing though is when Xmas comes around, I have plenty of gifts. I usually have enough to give each of my 11 grandchildren two gifts each, and each of my 5 daughters 3 gifts each, and still have enough left over for birthdays during the year. I also make items for my daughters each year. This year, I have made photo albums with pictures of them as they were growing up, etched plates for their families. and have made the clocks with the pictures for each one of them. I am just about finished with my crafts, and then comes the part that I dread....hate....despise.....wrapping!!

    Con

  • mrsc
    22 years ago

    oh yes, I'm stresssssssssssing. I never know what to buy. And the gift giving nevers ends with all the birthdays, weddings, showers, etc. With in-laws, co-workers & all it's getting out of hand. I'm thinking cash & gift certificates from now on.

  • Julie_MI_Z5
    22 years ago

    You need my SHOPPING GRID! I've even convinced a co-worker it's the best way.

    I made an Excel spreadsheet (I can send it to you if you have Excel) with one-inch squares on it, and it's always in my checkbook. Each square gets a person's name. As I think of ideas for that person, I write it down. As I buy the gifts on sale throughout the year (I can't handle the stress of last-minute shopping and I always shop the sales!) I put a check by that gift. When that person's gifts are purchased, I cross off their square. Ta-dum!

    If you stick to the grid, you'll never over-buy for one person and not the other. (And if one person ends up with 3 small/inexpensive gifts and the other one large/expensive gift, wrap up the small ones as if they were one...I do that with my kids and as long as they have the same number of packages to open, they're happy.)

    Having multiple ideas ready also helps make the shopping easier. For example, if your nephew's list says "dress shirt" and "sweatshirt", buy the one that's on sale the week you're at the mall....

    Julie
    jbeadle@twmi.rr.com

  • Janie_IA
    22 years ago

    Patti, I read somewhere, I'm totally confused on where I'm seeing some things and they said they get their children four gifts, one they need, one they want, one to read and I'm sorry, but I can't remember the other one. I was just thinking on the reading, some aren't readers, but a magazine or comic book or special interest book, hey maybe even an ezine delivered every week. I also love my magazine subscriptions, a gift every month or so. We just set a limit per person this year. We enjoyed the challenge and mostly stuck to our limit and everyone seemed happy. We are moving toward stocking stuffers more and more, but they do add up. It seems everyone gets so much now days, the stress of shopping isn't worth it. We are also doing the birthday thing more and making Christmas simpler. Janie

  • Julie_MI_Z5
    22 years ago

    Am I the only one who has started shopping for Christmas 2002?! Gotta love the clearance sales! I've been to three Hallmark stores so far and bought 9 undated ornaments to go with gift certificates for the neices & nephews, beautiful candle rings and Christmas candle holders and more ornaments, etc. for hostess gifts and gifts for friends, all at least 60% off.

    This year my "Garden Club" (the six of us) had a gift exchange with a $2.79 limit. I loved the stories about how hard it was to find a garden-themed gift in THAT price range, because of course I had found one well in advance!

    Julie

  • evelyn_craftdiva
    22 years ago

    Have no fear Julie you are not the only one out there. I've
    stocked up on tons of after Christmas clearance items. Gotta
    love those sales!!

  • Linda_in_Ohio
    22 years ago

    Like Summer, I shop all year, and I too have already started on next year. Both daughters have a box....and as I purchase items, either for Christmas, Easter, their birthdays, etc. into the boxes they go. I do the same with the 4 grandkids. Opening the boxes later is a surprise for me too, because I forget what all I have purchased. LOL The grandkids are the hardest for me....they seem to have everything. The son-in-laws.....I leave that to my hubby. Men know what men like. LOL I try to craft funny things for them.

  • Summer_NH
    22 years ago

    Linda,
    I also have seperate boxes for people and I put gifts in there all year as I shop. And I also am surprised for the same reason as you, LOL!
    I already had my boxes started even before the clearance sales began, because I over-bought as usual, LOL!

    Julie,
    I also have a similar system. Been doing that since I was a teenager. My Mom doesn't do that, but I have been trying to teach her to be more organized, LOL. She always forgets what she bought people. It's a mess. I don't think I'm her kid...I'm way too organized, lol.

    Hey, Dances_in_Garden,
    Your post about not knowing where your sister came from cracked me up. Who hates chocolate, lol. I WISH I hated it, but quite the opposite.

  • Julie_MI_Z5
    22 years ago

    To SUMMER,

    I have set a goal to convert at least one disorganized shopper a year and introduce them to stress-free gift shopping, LOL. Would love to hear your system to see if mine needs alterations.

    To THE STRESSED OUT SHOPPERS,

    I challenge all of you to try my Grid method shopping list for one year (starting now, because of course you're already starting your holiday gift purchasing 11 months in advance)! Get ready for a holiday FREE of last-minute shopping scrambles and over-spending!

    And it works for birthdays, too!

    Julie in Michigan (never without a special gift on hand or in mind for a special occasion)

  • minnie_tx
    22 years ago

    I loved all of your posts about shopping. I too love to shop and do all year long but get dismayed around time to wrap and send because I never really buy anything really great. I threatened my kids with not sending any "stockings" next year and they all yelled at me about it. We did decide this year, because of postage) to try and cut back. So this year besides the little stuff I pick up I'm also sending a nice gift certificate from somewhere.

    I also shop all year long.
    I just wish they were closer rather and thousands of miles away.

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