I've been having a decorating dilemma, all year as most of you know. Lost my spirit and can't seem to
get it back. Tho I did do my Fall stuff, which is perhaps my favorite.
But where Christmas is concerned, I've been like a yo-yo going up and down. One moment I can't wait to pull out all, or some, of my stuff.....the next I feel like 'why bother' and just want to skip it this year!! I've been a mess, needless to say. Kind of hit this wall last year too when a depression slammed me hard. But I did go ahead and do some, just not as much as usual. But this year I don't seem to know what I want, or don't want, to do. Living in a confused state of mind I guess. help.....
But on to Mr O. (for those of you who don't him, that is my husband of 43 yrs that I dubbed Mr. Oblivious, as he notices nothing!! If I were to put something in the middle of the floor, I swear he'd walk around it but STILL not notice WHAT it was.) Now him being oblivious can be a real good thing, since I'm big on collecting and decorating, and am a 'more is better' type person. On the other hand, its frustrating when I WANT him to notice something. But I can do whatever I want, which is nice. However he doesn't help me with hauling out all the Xmas stuff or storing it back. And as the Fibromyalgia has worsened to the point of me mostly house-bound, I could use some help to save all the walking on my poor legs. I tried a "hint" a couple of years ago, told him I didn't know HOW I was going to get everything decorated for Christmas. He responded with "then don't do it". Gee thanks, that wasn't what I was aiming for from him! :o( The good news is he never criticizes anything I do. The bad news is he never compliments anything I do. sigh. Not even a simple little 'looks nice, dear'. Which sure would be great after all my hard work! Still, I guess I'm use to it after all these years. Tho I don't have to like it.
So tonight, when I was totally frustrated with myself and not being able to figure out what I want to do, and needed someone to talk to.......yeah, that's good for laugh right there. Mr Oblivious is the silent type and having a conversation with him is like pulling teeth. He believes in one-word answers, I believe in multiple paragraphs. LOL. But I was determined, so pinned him down and asked him if he cared about seeing any Christmas stuff at all. He managed to say he likes Christmas 'ok'. Wow, how about that. Then he suggested if I was so unsure what I wanted to do, "why not just skip it this year and see if I liked it."
I told him if I did that, I think I'd regret it. I need to do some, even if its less than last year's and a lot stays packed. Well now he tells me, after all this time, that while he likes some he just doesn't like SO MUCH!!!! (maybe he's remembering some good old days when I hung a wreath on the door and decorated a tree and called it done!! But that was a long time ago, and well before I discovered this Forum and went nuts. LOL)
So not only was he NO help to talk to, now I know he's never even liked all the heavy decorating.
And I was doing it for most ALL the holidays for awhile. Talk about feeling bummed out, now he's just made it worse! What was I thinking when I asked his opinion?? Dumb. It was one thing to know he was oblivious to it, but now to know he actually didn't like it at all stinks! And will probably send me on a guilt trip now whenever I decorate. (I'm real good at taking guilt trips). Since I never say a word about him spending 7 days a week on the golf course, he really wants me to do whatever I can to enjoy my days. Especially with now being pretty much housebound while he comes and go as always. If my happiness means loading the house with decor, he'd never tell me not to. Hence he ignores it.
But darn, I'm just more confused than ever WHAT to do about Christmas. Wonder if I could run away someplace and hibernate like a bear? LOL. (any suggestions appreciated)
If you got this far, thanks for listening to all my whining. And forgive me for dumping such a load here.
I'm read to implode if I don't get it out.
hugs, Karen
minnie_tx
christmascandy
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