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OT...now that a week has passed

Posted by purplemoon (My Page) on
Mon, Aug 15, 11 at 2:02

I had mentioned previously that the past week wasn't a good one. I came here regularly and tried to post often...I read somewhere that if you ACT normal, then sooner or later you start to feel that way.
I'm still waiting on that part however.

Last Sunday, my Dad's little dog had to be put to sleep. His abdomen suddenly swelled up and he was dying. I wasn't ready for this at all. I cried for two days, and miss him terribly. He's been part of my life for over 13 yrs.

So once again I am dealing with loss regarding my Dad. And an 'empty' room. Zorro loved that room and his chair to sleep on. I often sat in there with him and watched TV. Since he was use to it on most of the time with Dad, I turned it on first thing each morning and off at bedtime. Gave him noise and normalcy. Now its so blasted quiet when I walk down the hall, and I keep expecting to see him laying in his chair. (If it wasn't next to my bathroom, I wouldn't go near it right now.)

I haven't yet told my two friends who took me out for all the fun the week before. Just didn't want them to know I was back in the dumps again all this past week.
But its better now, and I can talk about it without crying.

Thanks for listening again. Tho you must get tired of me whining, I am sure tired of me. sigh.

hugs, Karen


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Awh [[[Karen]]], Your post brought tears to my eyes.
How awful for you to have lost your Dad's little dog.
Pets are such a part of our lives.
You are not WHINING you are GRIEVING! What an awful year you've had.
I believe the little guy is with your Dad now, once again his faithful companion.

Nana


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen...I am so sorry that you have lost Zorro. I have lost my Mom and my kitty, (Chinny). You grieve for them the same. It has been 5 years for me and I still cry a lot. I miss them both so much. I know what you are going through and I pray for you.

I am glad you had a chance to be with your friends. Take advantage of those opportunities whenever you can.

Marylee


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen, the lose of Zorro is heart breaking and I would be crying too. Must of been time for him to take front seat in doggy heaven and join DD. Your empty room will be hard to face w/o Zorro but I pray in time you will come through this.

I just kept DS's little yorkie for 2 weeks and loved every minute of it. They are the sweetest little ones and so darn smart. It's hard to let her go home after her visits.

I agree with Nana and Marylee.
You are not WHINING you are GRIEVING!
Take advantage of those opportunities whenever you can.

Punk


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

One of God's most precious gifts ...

Photobucket

Hugs to you, Karen. Jeanne S.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Gosh, Karen. I'm so sorry. That's just not fair. Seems like you've had a string of unhappy events lately. It's hard for me to read your post, as you have been the cheerleader for all of us on this forum.
Counselors will often tell people suffering an emotional upheaval to keep a journal, to write it all down. I think this forum is a good place to write it all down. It can sort of feel like you are transferring some of the pain from your heart to the virtual paper when you type out your troubles.
I hope life starts to turn around for you soon. As my sister-in-law once told me when I was feeling very down and out, time has a way of easing all things - not erasing, but at least easing them.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Oh my dear Karen. My heart is with you. Our animals are so much a part of our family aren't they? I have noticed our Max is slowing down as he hits his 10th year. I know when his time comes I will crying just like you. I am sending you a virtual hug to let you know you are not alone as long as you come here to share whatever you need to with us, your friends.

Kath


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen...This was so sad to read about Zorro,
and brought tears to my eyes too. I'm in full agreement with others here -
You are not Whining - you're Grieving

I know ALL that he meant to you...not only for his sweet companionship...
but also for his 'Connection' to your Dad.
It's never easy on the 'ones' left behind. -
Only the passing of time helps ease the pain.
Think of them as being together and of all the fond memories they've given you.

Hugs to you...
Jane
.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Thanks, all of you. You lift my heart so much.

OA, I've always been a believer in 'journaling'. Sometimes just SEEING your thoughts on paper is a huge help, as well as the release of getting them out. Tho I haven't kept a journal since Jas was burned (2001), I remember how it helped me deal with that year from H---.
I guess now, being able to talk with all of you here, its pretty much the same thing. One of the very best things about this Forum is the UNDERSTANDING, and finding so many have walked similar paths! You are the ONLY ones who do seem to truly understand and empathize. There is just no way my family can begin to grasp my feelings (perhaps many of you have husbands or grown kids who aren't able to either.) My 3 kids (39,44,48) have such busy lives and go "full speed ahead". I'm sure I did at that age too. But as I get older, I'm more emotional than ever. My DH simplifies things....it happened, its over, move on. But I can't be like him, I feel things too deeply.
I hope you guys realize how wonderful it is to be on this Forum where there are so many kindred spirits! I never feel 'alone' any more thanks to you.

And in kindred spirits, I also mean all the good stuff we
share like shopping, enabling, dishes and decor, plus everything that makes our family roll their eyes...LOL.

hugs, Karen


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen, it was good reading your 'follow up' post.
I was smiling for you as I read...It's good knowing you found some comfort and support here. You're right, even with family - right there - they can be so caught up in their lives, that 'life gets in the way' to help.
Everyone here is always so generous of themselves letting you know you're not alone in your feelings...
Come to think of it...many of your words 'touched home'..I feel the same, as I think many of us do and I believe that's why many of us have remained loyal to this site.
As you said - 'Like kindred spirits..sharing shopping, enabling, dishes and decor, plus everything that makes our family roll their eyes.'
Well said.

jane


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Ohh (((Karen))). I'm so sorry you've lost Zorro. They are really like children in fur suits and having 4 plus our aging kitty , it saddens me to think of them all getting up in years now.
Grieving is a process and one that can haunt us even when we "think" we're doing a bit ok. I "thought" I was doing ok after but I'm in the stage now of the smallest things related to FIL or my friend just set me to bawling. I struggle to sleep and some nights wake up with tears running ,some days are worse than others, perhaps worse now than when it first happened.
DH works hard long hours so I refuse to burden him down with it and my son is starting his JR year in highschool busy with friends/activities so I guess I have more time to "think" now than I did. It's an awful revolving circle. My Mom gets it but thinks I should move on. Gee I'd love to.....
My sister says I'm depressed. Well H*ll , if I wasn't I'd be more worried about it. It's a no win, really. I'll get it back together one of these days I tell myself.
So sorry I hijacked your thread rambling :( , one step at a time sweet lady , one step at a time and if we stumble - that's OKAY too.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

I'm glad you were finally able to share your sorrow with all your friends here. If anyone had a reason to whine, it's you--but like the others said, you are grieving, not whining. I hope the emptiness can be made better by picturing Zorro and your Dad together again. Hang in there, and be kind to yourself, healing takes time. You truly do have friends who understand here on the forum--you are not alone! Hugs, Luvs


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

My dear, dear friend. I too am so sorry for the loss of your furry child. I totally understand the overwhelming feelings that you are having and when you said that you are getting more emotional with age, I SO understand. I think we, as women, do feel more deeply than most men. And, I think some of us feel with our whole hearts and value those in our lives on a deeper level than so many in this fast paced world of ours. Just remember not to judge yourself for grieving. You have had so much on your plate these past couple of years and it will take as long as it takes for you to feel like yourself again. It's okay. I think most of us on this forum and on the GJ forum have lived enough of life to both empathize and sympathize with you. We love you and want you to feel comfortable and at home here and free to "whine" whenever you want to.

Keep talking...it's good for the soul.

HUGS~

~Marlene


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen, I didn't respond to your first post , as I had just emailed you, but I just wanted you to know that we do feel your pain too. You are such a special person to all of us and we understand what you have been going through for a long time now. It is certainly not *whinning* to need a friend, if that were true I have spent nearly 64 years whinning. Please remember to come here anytime you need us. Not to change the subject, but we lost Miss Kitty last week too. She was acting sick Sunday. We took her to the vet first thing Mon morning, and they did bloodwork and kept her to give her an IV until that could figure out what was going on. Then about 2:oo the vet called and said she had died while he was out to lunch. MY DH was devastated, Miss Kitty was his "baby" We never knew her exact age, she was a shelter cat and grown when we got her, we had had her about 10 years, so it may have just been old age.We are really missing her too/ Be gentle with yourself, grief work is not easy, but necessary, it is one of those things you can't detour around, you have to go through it and it is hard. Hang in there ,it will get easier, Just remember that THIS TOO WILL PASS! We love you and are here for you. Hugs to you too, Janet


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Milosmom, you didn't hijack anything. I am very glad to hear from you and learn how you are doing. I am not surprised that some days hit you like a train wreck, grieving is such a long process it seems. And it doesn't take much to put oneself back into the sadness and hurt.
Having a lot of time to "think" is definitely a bad thing at times. I agree, it'd be a worry if you weren't depressed over so many losses! And as for your Mom getting it but wanting you to move on....that's understandable. I'm sure she feels helpless, and hates to see you suffer, but knows she can't do anything about it.
At least HERE there seems to the kind of understanding we need at times. Kindred spirits, as I said earlier.

Marlene, your words of wisdom are so true. And thank you, sweet friend, for caring. I know things in your life are very difficult right now, and you stay in my prayers. Your Mom too of course.

Janet, I got your wonderful email and will answer soon. I am so sorry you lost Miss Kitty. Losing one you've had so long is heartbreaking. I especially feel bad for your DH,
what a terrible blow for him now. Give him a hug (from me).

Having the new pup has helped me, keeps me busy, which is good. I only got him a week before losing Zorro so unexpectedly, but what good timing for Dusty to come into my life at that moment! Here's a BAD photo a friend took yesterday on her cell phone of us when she came by to see
him. He's 13 wks old now. Having him is so good for me.

Photobucket
hugs, Karen


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Oh, Karen...he is ADORABLE!!! & I am so glad that you got him! Puppies! What work & what fun! He is a precious lifeline! TFS! Jeanne s.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen what a cutie! I love his face..so sweet.
I can understand you not resisting to take this little guy.
With those - 'Take Me Home' eyes... I would have snapped him up too. You were both blessed to find ea other.
Enjoy the good days ahead for you both..
jane.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

No matter the heat being around 110 the last few days, Dusty wants to go out and run and chase a ball and just
play hard. But he knows how to beat the heat...LOL.
He loves water.
Photobucket

hugs, Karen


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

I thought I had posted here, don't know what happened.
Dusty is sooo cute. I think you should get out there and get in the pool with him, LOL

I know Zorro is leaving a huge hole, but I think that Dusty will help fill that void and make lots of new memories. I just hope he doesn't cause as much trouble as "Trouble." LOL.

Lots of love coming your way from everybody here. I hope you find comfort in the thoughts that your friends here understand your grief and share in wishing you the very best.

(((((HUGS)))))
Candy


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

I had to laugh when I saw the picture of Dusty in the swimming pool! He looks SO content there! Puppies are great, aren't they?

You know, reading everyone's posts here makes me wish that we were all neighbors....wouldn't that be a hoot? Seems my online friends and family are closer than the real life ones sometimes. I often wish we could all get together and have one big 'ol party sometime.

Hugs!


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Such a cut puppie. LOOKS LIKE HE IS REALLY STAYING COOL!

Marlene, not over an hour ago over the phone, I just told Luv's the same thing, that I wished all of us were close enough to get together. Wouldn't that be neat, talk about enablers and what we could all come up with together, we would be borrowing or trading pieces all the time to finish our tables or vignettes. Wouldn't we have a ball, we might never get any work done, but we would sure have fun. Janet


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Remember how the HIPPIES had those big ol' communes?
We could have a Holidayer Commune, LOL. Jane could bring the bus for our shopping trips. We'd have a blast borrowing or trading things.
Of course we'd have entirely too much fun to do any work,
so we might have to hire a couple of housekeepers for all that mundane stuff. LOL

hugs, Karen


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Oh Karen, you have had your share of sadness. But, you always seem to snap back. I do hope that is the case. So sorry about your Dad's dog.

Dusty is so cute. Looks like very good timing. Looks like a charmer! He should keep you busy and occupied. With plenty of love and kisses.

(((HUGS))) Karen. You need them.

Take Care,

Creek


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Did I hear a 'Shout Out for the Holiday Bus' ??
Karen...let me know when & where. That ole bus is just
itching to get on the Road Again!
Laughing over the idea of a 'Hippie Commune'...
Back in the 60's my brother lived on one in Boulder, Co.. (yes an authentic 'Flower Child' ) -
I think he'd fall over knowing his Sis was doing that in her 'ole age' !!
Ahh..what a Ball we would ALL have to be able to 'Run Away to Play'.
Karen, you're right, we'd have to hire someone to do all the mundane stuff and to also keep us from
'Self Destructing' from too much fun..
When do we leave?
Love the shot of 'Dusty in the Pool' keeping Cool!
jane


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

My bags are packed!
Dusty is so cute and he really does know how to cool off!
Karen, were you affected by the recent sand storms?

Nana


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Sweet pictures Karen! Hope Dusty keeps you busy during the days so you can sleep well and dream about DD, DM and Zorro watching from above.

You ladies are so fun and I wish I had more time for fun. I'd love to jump on the bus and cruise with all of you if you can wait till after Labor Day. Hope this request doesn't give Nana so much time that there won't be room for the rest of our bags! May need to put a limit on like the airlines.LOL

Punk


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

We might have to have a traveling Commune...so we could stay in places with good weather all the time! We can't be dealing with blizzards and floods and 115 degree heat,
no time for those when we need to SHOP and DECORATE.

Marlene...you are so right...
Seems my online friends and family are closer than the real life ones sometimes.

Nana, the latest duststorms haven't bothered me at all.
Just windy. Bad, bad storms on the east side of Phoenix
is the normal. Somehow central Phoenix and the west side
usually doesn't get walloped like over there. Thank you for asking, you are so sweet.

Pack those bags, Ladies! Janie's coming....
Jane's Bus


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Okay, I'll only bring one bag! LOL
Karen I'm really glad you weren't affected by the sand storms.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Wow Karen....You captured the essence of the 'Holidaze' bus to a T -
Love it....!
Especialy the 'daze' part...lol
Can you picture ALL of us together in a full 'dazed/confused and frenzied' mode?
jane


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Hey, & I can help Jane drive...I still have my busdriver's 'chauffeur' license! And that's a mighty classy bus we'll be riding on! LOL! Ahhhh...we can dream, ladies! ;-) Jeanne S.


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RE: OT...now that a week has passed

Karen, I am so sorry to read this, albeit late.
I remember when my nephew was hit by a car and killed, his dog died about 2 weeks later. His heart was broken.
Prayers for you.
You know my mom died on my birthday, so it is never truly a happy one. But I am glad she didn't have to suffer any longer.
You have good memories of your dad, treasure them. Not everyone has good memories.


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