I think this forum needs a "conversations" side. lol!

You're offering to WORK? that's not an escape! Do you think that men go to a hunting camp to do anything productive? ;^)

I'm having a similar day. Cocktails helped me. lol!

Creekdweller, sending prayers right now for you and can only advise you to make a list and cross off everything that is not urgent. Often women take on more than they need to. It's not a good thing and can lead to health problems (speaking from experience here). It's good to delegate.

I'm now retired and seldom do anything I don't want to do. I spent too many years trying to be everything to everyone and have finally learned to be good to *me*. My DH and I now go traveling whenever we are inspired to and call it 'running away from home' because things seem less complicated when we are camping. Of course eventually I tire of no DW/W&D and want to go home!

Creek...sorry you're having these feelings.
I can understand wanting to 'Run Away'..to find some peace, and yes, men do seem to have it easier to escape..while women Always seem to 'carry the load'.
I think we've all felt this way at times, and I think when we've reached our limit, we feel as you do now.

Many years ago, I joked with my co-workers that I was going to rent a small store, furnish it with comfortable sofas
and chairs, and call it the 'Women's Living Room'! A place JUST for women to come to...to do just as you feel like doing now >> escape. I always said, it would be a comfortable 'Safe Place' to just go to, where
you didn't have to explain yourself, and just get some solace when badly needed, and just re-coop. So many of my women friends loved this idea....Ohhh if I just followed my heart and dream, I think it would have done well. There are so many of us who could use a place like this.
Sometimes in my mind I picture it, and that kind of gives me some peace. lol
I think though that luckygal has some sound advice, on
'delegating' more, and taking on ONLY what's most important and unavoidable. That's a good starter. Also, taking on too much to please others, while sacrificing yourself.
She's right, this leads to health issues..( I too
have fallen victim to this).
I hope this adivce helps a little.
Please take care and do try to put some 'quiet time' aside just for 'you'. ((((((Hugs)))))

jane

I occasionally have those "want to run away" feelings....
unfortunately not only am I housebound and can't, I realized what I wanted to run from was ME!!
LOL. I don't think it works that way tho.

hugs, Karen

Yup, some days are like that...but, I think my DH also has some of those same days!

Sound advice from the gals above...I think it's good to vent...cry & then "count your blessings." Usually works for me, anyway! Or if all else fails, do a t'scape! LOL! We'll lift up your spirits with praise! Jeanne S.

So totally can relate to your question. Sometimes, we just need a time to be to ourselves and let our minds "rest" awhile. Jane, I love your idea, wish there were a place like that near me! For me, I discovered that taking a good walk helps, as does talking about our feelings with friends and discovering that we are not the only ones who sometimes feel that way! If it's too hot to walk, then a drive to a nearby park in the air conditioned car and listening to some relaxing music (or nothing but silence) sometimes helps too. Take a deep breath, delegate as much as you can, and know it's okay to sometimes just say "NO". Hugs to you. Luvs

CD:
I don't have any answers as in my situation, there is no escape so I just keep dealing. As of late, I'm soooo very close to the blowing point in terms of dealing with crap (mainly from incompetant little sister, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms) but I try to count my blessings for the GOOD things and it seems to lesson the blow of the crappy stuff.
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know what to do if I had the chance to "run away", probably kick over from boredom. lol
I'm sorry you're in this "place" but of course, taking care of YOU is neccessary! Don't forget that.
Prayers coming your way :).

Creek, hope you are doing ok. Will keep good thoughts coming your way. If you don't have a good friend to "dump a load on", the next best thing is to journal. Writing your feelings down somehow seems to help. Getting them out of your head and actually seeing them on paper really is a good thing. And if you want to share what you wrote with whoever has caused them, do so. Sometimes that is a wake-up call for the person. I've done it both ways, but mostly
just write things out for myself. I later go back and reread it, which can be way to clarify the mess in your mind.
Meanwhile, I absolutely LOVE this saying....

" You just gotta learn to dance while Life is throwing chainsaws and chickens at you....after the first few
cuts and pecks, the rest is easy."

hugs, Karen

I think you all ought to come stay with me for a while....I have lots of room and several inflatable beds!! We'll send DH off on his motorcycle and we can play with dishes and gardens and junque to our hearts content!! It's hot outside, but we have central air :^)

Wow, Jaybird, I haven't been to a "pajama party" in more years than I care to mention. You are always so sweet and welcoming. ;o)

Karen, where on earth did you come up with that saying? Made me laugh out loud for sure! Chainsaws and chickens, huh? What a combination. Maybe my life is easier than I thought after all! ;o)

Creekdweller, hang in there. Remember to take it one day at a time--this too shall pass.

Luvs

Jay.... Sounds good to me...
I'm putting Gas in the 'Holiday Bus' as I write!!

Ladies grab your stuff and get Ready To Roll...
We're on our way to Jay's Place!!!

jane

Jay, I'd love to come and stay with you and the other gals and have a high ol' time.

Luvs, I sort of "collect" sayings and I saw that one somewhere on the Web and loved it. I enjoy the sayings that are funny AND true.
Over the years, many years, my all-time favorite has been

"I'd take a tranquilizer if I could get my teeth unclenched"

hugs, Karen

OMG! Karen, you just know I need to make a sign using that last one! LOL

Jane, head that bus this way for sure--I'd love a little holiday R&R in Texas with Miss Jaybird and all of you!

Luvs

Hot diggety dog!!! I can hardly wait for you to get here!! It's hot outside, but we have good A/C! We even have camper hookups etc..
There's a sale at the fabric shop this weekend, and I just TODAY found out about a new junque shop that is opening at 8:30 on Saturday morning woo-hoo!!! We can eat a nice cool lunch of fresh veggies and fruit, sitting at my breafast table where there is a lovely view of the lot and all of the bird feeders (I'll even get out there tonight and wash the windows :^). Saturday night we can go down to the Brazos River for music at the band shell. Sometimes it's even good enough to listen to :^)
Sunday morning y'all could double the size of our congregation at church...yep, it's a smaaaallll church in the middle of a feed corn lot!!
Ms. Karen, our house is all on one level, so you wouldn't have any trouble getting around. Princess Posie will come and sit in your lap everytime you sit down, so you won't have kitty cat withdrawals.
Luvs, I need a sign like that last one too :^), my boss is always gritting his teeth when he gets mad about something. He knows I'm going to laugh though, so he just rolls his eyes at me!
Okay girlies, I've got yellow ribbons tied on all the trees, and I'll be out front looking for y'all!
J

Where's that dang bus......I'm packed and waiting!
(and the promise of no-kitty withdrawal is great, LOL).

hugs, Karen

Karen..I'm driving as fast as the 'City Limits' allow!!
Don't know how long it will take cause I can't drive at night!! These ole eyes just don't function as they used to....heck they NEVER functioned well!! lol
Luvs...I guess I'll head for you next...get those bags packed...and wait out front. I think I can recognize your place from All Those Cute Signs out front!!

Jay..it would Soooo wonderful to do just that..Fill up
'A Holiday Busload' of All us gals, and head your way...
What you described us doing would be Heaven!! Even attending your little church out in a corn field >> Love It.

jane

Oh wow, are we all in the same "sinking" boat this summer?

We definitely need a conversations forum here!

I'm about ready to jump out of my skin waiting for vacation!

As most of you know we usually go to Fla. in June, but due to unexpected puppy litter, we are still here at home and not leaving til Aug.

This has been one busy, exhausting summer for me. There hasn't been one weekend that there wasn't something going on & peace & quiet are badly needed!!

Creek, I don't think I was around to welcome you to the forum, it's been that bad this summer, but welcome & hope you are enjoying all of us crazies here!

I had pictures to post from June that I still haven't gotten around to, I'll be posting summer tablescapes in December!

Hope everyone finds a way to slow down & relax before summer is over.

Miss all of you, but get few minutes here to visit. I'll be back come fall!!

Jane, I'll hurry and get my bags packed--and while I'm waiting, I'll make one of those signs for Jaybird to give to her boss! LOL

Jaybird, be careful, your plans for us sound so wonderful that we just might not want to leave and come home to "reality"!

Bet we could all sure have some good laughs if we all were able to get together. Fun to think about it anyway. ;o)

Creekdweller, have we made you feel any better with all our craziness? Sure hope so. Just keep on keeping on--this too shall pass.

Luvs

Sounds like a fun trip!
Vacation? Don't remember what that means. We haven't been away on a vacation in over 25 yrs!
My mom used to say she was going to run so far and forget to come back! 4 kids, one wheelchair bound...I am sure she wished she could have run away! :)
Hope things are better Creek!

Thanks everyone for all of your suggestions and comments. Several years ago, a group of co-workers talked about going together and buying a camp house so we could all just get away. We women need to get smart like the men folks. No offense to the men! Why we did not is beyond my thinking at this point. Remember the old saying, "A man works from day light to dark, but, a woman's works is never done." That person WAS a Woman, and knew exactly what she was saying. And sounds like from experience!
I don't ever remember going on a vacation either. And don't see one in my future.
Please keep my Daddy and Mama in your prayers, and me as well. Things are not any better. Another c-scan, another blood clot in the legs and lungs. I know you folks have been through a lot and know what it is to be in my place. My parents have four children, four in-laws, or maybe three out laws. LOL Only one of those knows they have parents that need them right now. I'll hush for now, too much info already.....I willing admit, I am blessed, and thankful, to be in the position I am in, even with All the stress and responsibility. Thanks again for listening and for caring and your prayers!

Creek, thanks for checking in. Your family, and you, will be in my prayers. I'm so sorry both your Daddy and Mama
aren't doing well. A lot of stress for you. (my 86 yr old Dad lives with us, and is almost bedridden due to heart and kidney disease. Some days can be overwhelming,
so I sort of understand.)
Please feel free to dump a load anytime you need, and you are welcome to email me privately if you need a long-distance 'ear'. sangareeKS at aol. I remember how 'strangers' got me thru some very difficult times...
and became friends. One of Life's blessings!

Take care of yourself!!
hugs, Karen

Room for one more? and promise there will be NOOOOOOOOOO men abd no no it all teenagers. Right now I would be happy to just stay at home if I could send them on an extended trip to the fartherest corner of outerspace. Mt not so DH at the present just agred to rent our mountain house to two 20 something girls. I didn't know about it until Wed. I babysit my eight mo old DGS and took him with me Wed to try to soet out things I wanted to bring here, things for the dump and things I needed to find storage for. I went back yesterday and put things in piles to save, store or toss, but got so worn out I didn't get them boxed up. I went back this morn to finish and they had bagged everything I had sorted into piles, except some dishes,into trash bags, I wanted to keep. Needless to say, they were back in the cabinets. I am not easily upset and I had never cusses anybody in my 64 years, but I really lost it today, I let my not so Dh and both girls hsve it. Everything had to be gone through sgsin, and this even was my DGD's bridal shower, which I had to mis to try to get my things moved out.Right now I think a world without men woulfd be heaven.I sure hope a goodnight sleep helps, I'v just been physically sick today. Hugs to all, Janet

creek...will continue good thoughts & prayers for your folks...always such a roller coaster when a loved one is sick & especially sick enough to be hospitalized. Sounds like you have the load on your shoulders...so just remember that this time is precious for you & your folks...give up on some other things in your life (for now)...& God grant you peace & comfort as you bless your family with your love. Jeanne S.

Jeanne said it all so well, so I'll just 2nd all she said. Hang in there, and come here to vent any time you need.

Janet, I feel your pain--very frustrating to have to do something over again! Just think about the extra money you will have coming in and what you can buy to "treat" yourself with it! That will show them! ;o)

Luvs

Creek, sending prayers and good thoughts your way. My 85 year old dad isn't doing too well. In fact, I'm on my way over to visit him right now. He lives in a wonderful assisted living facility, but just lost his best friend this week. On top of that I took him for lots of testing on Thursday and now have to pick up the halter monitor and return it to the hospital. He told me he just wants to die, and I told him that "we don't get to make that decision" and then made a joke (but inside I was crying!)

I'm an only child so I expect to be the caregiver. My mother had an agonizing 6 year bout with cancer that ended with her dying in her home w/ me as caregiver. Two years later I sold the house, cleaned out 55 years worth of "stuff" and moved dad into assisted living.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone tells me that having siblings most likely wouldn't matter, because for whatever reason, it's usually one person who is the caregiver. I dunno!

Hang in there and know that better days are ahead. Sometimes just a bubble bath, quiet music and a cup of tea does the trick. Other times, a good stiff drink will do it (temporarily, of course.) My husband and I are lucky to be able to take a vacation every 3 months and leave our DD's (all in their 20's) in charge of Grampa. If you don't have that option, there's respite care; worth looking into.

Vacations are my sanity and without them, I could not have endured the past 13 years of caring for elderly/sick parents. Seriously.

Hugs. From one who understands completely (although I think I'd be very ticked off to have siblings not help...grrrr......)
Bonnie

Bonnie, I do hope you find your Dad better. Sorry about his friend, that's got to be bad on him. You have very lucky parents to have an only child that has actually taken care and done the job extremely well. I have a cousin, an only child, a daughter. She said years ago she was glad that she was the only child so she didn't have to ask any body what to do with her mother. And she didn't, she just stuck her in a bad nursing home, took all her money and possessions, and never looked back.
Sorry about your mother, but you again did your job well.
At times I feel sorry for myself, but when all is said and done, I'll know that I have done the right thing and will have no regrets.
I think it is worse to have siblings, and to be the caregiver. Just knowing that our parents have done everything for all of us and now that the table has turned, they are not doing their job.
What is respite care?
Glad you are able to take your vacations, you deserve everyone. 13 years is a long time.
LOL, I've never tried the drinks. Might be a thought, not. Have to be sober for Daddy and Mama.
((((Hugs))))Right back to you and thanks for your thoughts and concerns, and prayers.
Creek

CD and all,

Sounds like we all have similar problems, some easier to handle than others, no doubt. Just like most people, I have been a caretaker...beloved dad died with cancer, and mom was caretaker for him, then I was caretaker for mom for many years (dementia). Difficult to not get angry when you are asked the same thing over and over and over, and have to deal with every tiny detail 'cause mom is just not capable.

But all those who deal with that, Creek, you've got it, you do the best you can and it will give you peace later. I actually have a cousin with almost exactly the same story as yours. My aunt saw it coming, however, and willed half her (not small) estate to her surviving brothers and sisters. I know that my cousin is a bitter, unhappy man. Much better to live out your own years with contentment.

Hopefully all who are dealing with such issues will find solace in their own families, as I do with my DH and wonderful friends. I find that the best escape for me is to "count my blessings." And as Luvs says (and I say whenever I get a root canal), "This too shall pass."

Bless you, and I'm sending prayers your way.

- Magpie

Magpie, Is there really a difference between dementia and Alzheimer's? The Dr. of therapy told us is was different. I totally understand the angry part, except that is with my Mother. Daddy just says "NO".
I am so glad I started this post. Seems like a lot of others needed to vent as well as me..Kind of makes you feel better knowing you are not the only one. In your mind you know that, but, at the same time, that's the way you feel.

Again a very special thanks to everyone for your prayers, concerns and comments.. I got you all in my prayers as well..Off to the hospital!!

Creek

CD,
("What is respite care?")

If you are the primary caregiver for your parents you may use the services of respite care to give you a break.
http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Resources/fact_sheets/respite_care.aspx

I have never used it but did have a friend who needed it.

I'm sending lots of hugs to all of you!! I pray that peace will come to you as you care for your families.
I was caretaker for my Mom and Dad...they passed away within a year of one another and I miss them (and all of their quirks) every day!
Thinking of each of you today,
J

Creek,

It sounds like you are caretaking dementia/Alzheimer's? That is extremely tough. There is a difference. DH's grandmother had Alzheimers, and I remember her talking about "these nice people I live with" and she had no idea she was talking about her daughter and son-in-law. That sort of thing did not happen to my mother. She never forget me or DH or grandson. She didn't forget where she lived, and didn't wander out in the street, like the stories you hear about Alzheimer's patients. All in all I guess, it was easier for me. I can imagine it's heartbreaking to have your parents "forget" you...

God bless and hugs to you, I understand.

- Magpie

Hi Creek,

I just stopped by to lurk and try to catch up on my friends. Haven't been here in sooo long. I'm glad I saw this.

Your post brought back so many memories of trying to help Daddy take care of Mama who had alzheimers. He had a major stroke after my 6 siblings refused to help him and gave him no choice but insisted he put her in a nursing home.

I was working full-time (had to- ex had left me DEEPLY in debt), had just married a man with 6 kids still at home, and spent the first 2 years of my new marriage running from work to 2 separate nursing homes trying to see that they each at least got fed ONE meal a day. Daddy had swallowing issues after his stroke. My heart broke DAILY.

DH said, "Go- I will be here when you get back and I'm supporting you in any way I can."

I've walked a mile in your shoes. I prayed for you before I started typing and will keep praying for you.

Forget about the siblings. They will only add to your stress. Act like an only child and don't count on any help from them.

Mamma and Daddy died within 18 months of each other and I still miss them terribly after 12 years. But, they are in a better place and I will see them again.

The most important advice I can give you in hindsight is:

Spend as much time with your parents as you can right now while you still have them. You won't regret it. And pray for strength and endurance.

God Bless you,
Betty

PS- After reading everyone's encouragement, I was reminded why I love y'all so much even when I don't get to come by often.

Karen, I'm painting that on my kitchen wall!

Good to see you posting Betty, you are missed allot on here. I think most of us who have lived awhile have had the heartache of having a friend or loved one ill or dying. Not easy to endure, and sometimes feels like it will never get better. I have a good friend who is going through this with trying to take care of her husband and she is 80 herself. She's determined to keep him home where he is most comfortable, and with the help of family, friends, and Hospice, she's managing. Let us know how you are doing, CD, I hope you are coping okay.

Luvs

Betty, its great to hear from you. I hope you can get back with us more in the near future.
I was planning to just read today's posts but found myself reading each one from the beginning instead. I needed that. Bless all of you for just "being here".
Its been a horrible week trying to take care of my Dad, more so than usual I mean. He's 86, lives with us, nearly bedridden, and I'm his 'care-giver'. Physically, and mentally, this past week has been totally exhausting. And I have feeling its only going to get worse.
Thank goodness I can come here and escape a bit...plus feel so "connected" to so many of you because of this thread!

Jaybird..an extra Thank You. I got the sweetest surprise today in the mail, and you have no idea how much I NEEDED a day-brightner! That bunny is wonderful, and he will definitely be invited to stay out this Christmas since he's sparkly and white and so pretty. (a lot of my bunnies have to go hibernate during Christmas, LOL).
I can't thank you enough for being so caring and generous.
{{gwi:77274}}

Yaay, Betty is here too!!! Lots of good info there girl, and a special hug to you!
Yes Karen, I loved the Chainsaw and Chicken quote too....and saved it ;^)
Glad the sparkly bunny was a hit...every time you look at her, consider yourself hugged. XXOOOO
J