On Sat morning Dad had sudden sharp pains in his rgt side and thought he had appendesitis. I called 911 and got 4 (hunky) firemen here, who said it wasn't but his blood pressure was low and he definitely had to
go to the hospital. After the emergency room tests were done, he was transferred to ICU. He had an enlarged gall bladder, urinary infection, and kidney infection. Up until Sat morning, none of these things were evident. No fever or anything!! So he had a lot of IVs going and medicine to keep his blood pressure up. His gall bladder needed to be removed, but his condition made surgery a bad idea. At least till the infections were under control. So all of us thought he'd be in ICU the rest of the week, and we'd worry about him going thru surgery in a week or two. He was stable and getting excellent care. Late Monday night, all the fluid going into him was not coming out properly and was filling up his tissues and lungs. He had to be put on a breathing mask. He kept worsening and the doctor said a ventilator was needed, but that he probably wouldn't be able to come OFF one in that case. Dad said no. The doctor consulted me and my 3 kids,
and we all agreed. The doctor said to get the family together as he probably only had a few hours left.
My kids, and the 2 grown grandkids all came right away, they all live here in Phoenix! Dad went peacefully to sleep with me holding his hand and everyone by his bedside. Thankfully he never had to go to a care center, was only in the hospital 3 days, and was able to be home in his own room with his little dog all this time. I couldn't have asked for more in how this unfolded. But it was still a shock and I am very devastated. I have cared for him totally since last June, and he's lived with us for 10 yrs since my Mom died.
I am lost and don't know what to do with myself. And I can't believe he's really gone. Its going to take me a long time to get back to normal in my life. But having all of you and this Forum to come to will give me a sense of normalcy and a lot of joy. I will try to post as I've always done very soon. This will be my only post about the hole in my heart and life. Its going to be a long one tho, so bear with me if you can.

One special thing about my Dad was he never met a (clean) joke he didn't love. To tell, re-tell, and tell some more. There was no conversation with him that didn't have him telling someone a joke. But a few months ago he heard a bit of humor that became his "theme song", and if I heard it once I heard it hundreds of times.
Anyone he saw got to hear it. Including the 4 Fireman Sat morning! They walked in the room, one asked how he was doing, and Dad replied "I'm celebrating today"....the fireman asked if it was his birthday and he said "No, but today is the oldest I've ever been!". They all laughed and loaded him up. The emergency room doctor heard it. The ICU doctor heard it. Every single nurse who went into his room heard it.
And I smile at this memory more than other right now.

To make this even longer, I'd like you to "meet" my Dad. This is what I've written to read at his service.
Which isn't till mid or late March by the way.
I want my kids and my grandkids, and friends to know him thru a "daughter's eyes" (and heart).,,,,

I want to share my thoughts of my Dad.
When I was a child, he was not just my father, he was my best friend. We spent countless hours riding horses, hiking, fishing, exploring. As soon as I could walk, he put me on pony rides and instilled in me a love of horses that remains today. As a career military man, we didn't put down roots my first 14 yrs, and he indulged my love of animals buying me hundreds of glass horses and dogs that moved with us each time. Movers hated us. I grew up being a Collector, and that will never change.

He promised when we moved to AZ from Ohio, for his last years in the Air Force, he'd buy me a real horse. We were here 7 days when he kept that promise, even tho we didn't have a home to live in yet. It was my 14th birthday, and my best EVER.
I was the only kid in school who's dad got up at 5am to take her 2 miles to the stable each morning, usually on back roads on his motor scooter, to be with her horse. Then he drove me to school, picked me up, and took me back to the stable. Every day, for the 3 yrs we lived on the base. Then we moved out to the country where I had more horses and animals.

We hiked the hills and forests of Ohio, and Texas, and Alabama. Then the desert here, the White Tank Mtns especially. Always bringing home some pretty rocks or interesting piece of wood, which to this day I still do any chance I get.

To my grandparents horror, he taught me to play poker when I was 5. I was a total TomBoy because of him. No girl, and many boys, couldn't match my throwing arm when it came to baseball or football, thanks to my Dad. My grandparents gave up ever seeing me in frilly dresses and acting like a little lady.

And when I was older, if I didn't bring some animal home that I rescued, he did. From baby birds, to a cripple burro, to a runt black Angus bull calf, an orphaned coyote pup, and countless other animals shared my life because of him.

Every kid that ever came to our home loved him, and thought I had the World's Best Dad. And they were right. He never tired of thinking up games or fun things to do. He loved children of any age all his life,and he loved all people as well. Dad never met a stranger. He didn't forget those he met, and they for sure never forgot him. I use to joke that we couldn't take him anywhere that he didn't run into someone he knew. But it was the truth.

When I grew up and he got 3 grandchildren, he merely continued on doing things with them as he'd done with me. I think they got to share a tremendously special relationship with him that not many kids today have with grandparents. And what's amazing, is the fact they all had children ( EIGHT of them in all) who got to know and share many special times with their great grandfather. .I don't think that is something that happens often in life.

This was ALL because of an incredible man who put roots down in Phoenix, simply because he bought his daughter a horse and she wouldn't leave for any reason. And he wouldn't leave her to retire in his beloved home of Alabama. I was well and truly spoiled all my life.

I can't stop without saying a little about my mother. Growing up, I never realized what she had to put up with all her married life. She got left home while he took me everywhere. She had to deal with pet mice, pet rats, lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, birds & fish, and numerous cats and dogs.. all in her house. Even an orphaned tiny lamb in our only bathroom's shower stall. Our family vacations from Ohio to Alabama in our station wagon often resembled a traveling zoo. And she never said "no" to any of it.
One of my Dad's favorite stories to tell was about the crippled little burro I mentioned earlier. My horse was at the Air Force base stables, but we spent a lot of time with an old horse trader about 7 miles away, just because we liked hearing his stories and hanging around his small ranch. One day when we went there, he had a little crippled burro about 8 months old. He drug one front leg when he walked, and was totally useless and no one was going to buy him. I was heartbroken, and sat in the stall hugging him till my dad asked "how much". The old cowboy said if we could get him in the car, we could take him home free. CAR being the operative word. Thank goodness it was a 4-door sedan. Between the three of us, we somehow got the little burro inside. He stood there with his head out the window like a big dog. Instead of taking the back road to the stable tho, nothing would do but we had to go show Mom our new pet. So Dad drove down Glendale Ave for miles, somehow not causing any wrecks from all the people who couldn't believe they were passing a car with a burro looking out the window. He drove into the base housing and into our drive, went in and told Mom to come see the "big dog we'd rescued". Looking back, I cannot imagine what went thru her mind when she came out, not only to find a burro in the driveway, but one IN her Car!!
Living with my dad must have been a bit like living with Dr DooLittle. Yet my parents were inseparable in a marriage that lasted 54 yrs, and only ended then when she died. I know she is so glad to have Dad with her again.

I'll be lucky I don't kicked off by the Forum masters as I've really abused things being so lengthy in an off topic post. Hopefully they will forgive me this one time.
hugs, Karen

My dad was similar & like you I was an only child, so my dad had me doing things like helping him "bleed the brakes" on his car, when I was only in grade school.

Back them our dads did all their own repairs on their cars, not like today.

Yes, we both grew up a bit tom boys due to being girls and only children.

My dad promised me a horse too, but I never got mine, I think you got my horse!!!

We did have lots of dogs though, my dad was a true animal lover like yours. He even brought home two chipmunks from Wisconsin, where he had been on a fishing trip & then he built a cage for them in the backyard.

Our dads sound so much alike, I miss mine too, lost him before my mom and he was the one I knew I could always count on, he was strong & could do anything.

It is a blessing (trust me) that your dad did not suffer & was able to stay at home til the end.

My dad had cancer & I watched this strong man, I depended on my entire life, just waste away til he did not even know us!

Sorry to get off on my dad too, but you remind me of so many things we did together too.

It was for a reason that the nursing home messed up & your dad stayed with you & his little dog where he was happy.

Take consolation in the fact that he was happy til the end & where he wanted to be.

I truly enjoyed getting to know your dad thru your stories. I'm sure your family is so much richer for having known him & to have great grandchildren that were able to be around him is huge!

Take all the time off you need, rest up & take good care of yourself & all your animals & especially your dads little doggie.

Much love & HUGE HUGS to you, my friend. Lori

Pat

After reading this, it makes me realize how special your DM must of been also. She put up with alot of creatures for you and dad through the years.LOL

Thanks for sharing Zorro with us. What a little cutie. So glad he has you to be with now.

Hope you will find the strength to continue posting here with all of us. We miss you so much when your not commenting or showing us neat things to browse.

TCMDF, Punk

I'm sure everyone who knew him knew what a special person he was and as a joke teller myself, I love that he was "celebrating" til the end!

So glad that you have your wonderful memories of both of your parents! Also, that he was able to stay with you until the end. It sounds like a very peaceful passing and he was so blessed to have all of you around him at the end.

As Red Skelton used to say at the end of his shows,
"May God Bless!"

Candy

I know many of us are Daddy's girls, that's one reason I felt comfortable posting all I did about my Dad.
(Lori, I wish you'd gotten your horse! I did enjoy hearing about your Dad.)

I am keeping all these posts, as they will bring me much comfort in days ahead...and more sweet memories as Time passes.
hugs from my heart,
Karen

Bless you and your family...

jane

Frou, if you came home with TWO ponies, I'm quite sure you were as spoiled as me. But when I read you lost your Dad when you were only 10, I started crying. I am so very, very sorry that your time with him was so short. I hope having 3 older brothers meant you continued to get some 'spoiling'.
I am truly heartbroken over your loss, even tho it was long ago. Just so unfair.

I'm trying to sort and pack things in Dad's room today.
I came here to "escape" and let the tears dry a bit.
hugs, Karen

So happy that you are here...a good place to let those tears both flow & dry. Please let others help you with everything, too, when they can. Hugs to you, Jeanne S.

My dad and I weren't close but I was very close to my great aunt and uncle who owned a farm near LaCrosse, Wisconsin. I used to spend summers there. Your memories of your childhood reminded me so much of mine on the farm. I had horses and ponies. My aunt and uncle had pigs, cows, chickens, cats and dogs. I helped my uncle and neighboring farmers harvest hay (the only girl to do so and able to keep up with the men). I picked wild berries with my aunt and helped her bake pies. I picked wild flowers and pretended to be a cowgirl complete with cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and cap pistols. And even though they have been dead for more than 35 years, I still remember them with love as if I talked to them last week. They provided me with some of the best childhood memories a girl could hope for.

Your dad will live on in your heart for the rest of your life. One can only hope to leave behind such a lovely legacy to be remembered by.

May your sorrow be short and your happy memories be long.

(((((((HUGS)))))))
Kathy

Nona and Luna, thank you for coming over from Garden Junk
with your sweet thoughts. It means a lot. (and Marlene, thanks for letting the GJers know about my Dad. My energy has failed me for months in keeping up with two Forums, and I've not done anything in the yard in a long, long time to even share on GJ.)

I'm almost thru packing up Dad's things, and dread the finality of that. Its really hard being in his room,
where he's too much there and too much not there....

hugs,Karen

As I read this tonight, I felt as though I was reading about my own life. I adored my Daddy and lost him to cancer eight years ago. But, I too was Daddy's girl up until the day he passed on into heaven. Your story is so similar to mine in so many ways....I brought home so many "lost" animals when I was a kid and he never said no to any of them. I always describe my father as a gentle man and a gentleman...he fought for his country in WWII and worked hard to provide for his family his whole life. Even though he wasn't a man of high education or a lot of words, he taught me more than anyone else in this world ever will. Reading your story made me realize just how lucky we both are to have been raised by such wonderful men and to have had these men teach us how to treat ourselves and others. We are blessed to have been "the apples of their eyes."

Your are right when you say that the next few weeks and months will be hard for you...I totally understand that. There are days, even all these years later, that it is hard. But most of all, the memories are sweet and the love is still as strong as it was when Daddy was alive. He will forever be in your heart Karen and in the days to come, that will bring you peace and in times ahead it will bring you a lasting joy.

Take all of the time you need to grieve, to remember, to cry and to hurt. I can tell you from experience, it will get easier to bear. The hole in your heart will never disappear, but it will get to a place where it is a scar, not an open wound.

Feel free to write whatever you need to here. I feel as though the folks here would agree with that and want you to feel as though you have a place to be open and honest about your feelings. You are in all of our thoughts and prayers and there are tons of hugs coming toward Phoenix my friend.

Just be good to yourself and keep moving ahead...just move slowly and let time work it's magic with you.

Lots of love coming to you dear Karen~

~Marlene

I remember when you posted a photo on Garden Junk of your grandson when he was home from duty...there was your Dad in the background! From all that you have shared about your Dad, he was a SPECIAL, SPECIAL man!

We love you! Bear Hugs! Kirk, Carol, Olivia and Benjamin

My mom loved to clothes shop & had so many in her closet with the tags still on them.

Karen, wanted to share a quick horse story, although I did not get my horse, I was such a spoiled only child, that in the summer, every Sunday my parents would drive me about 20 miles to a park that had pony rides & they would let me ride for hours. I looked forward to that as a young child and have great memories now of the sacrifice they made for me.

Lynne

I haven't been here in forever and don't know why I came here so late tonight. But, I'm glad I did.

Thank you so much for allowing us to share your sorrow and for giving us a chance to know your Daddy through your memories. It brought back memories of my own dear sweet Daddy.

He passed away in 97 and I still miss him. When he died I wore his robe until it fell apart from the wear and tear.

I keep his hat, that he wore to church, in my bedroom and still pick it up to capture the smell of him when I miss him the worst, even though it has faded away with time.

I know from experience that this is a very hard valley to walk through. I am praying for you.

Take care of yourself, my friend.
Betty

I'm clearing things from Dad's room, except things special to me, because I 'have' to. I need to see that room in a different way as soon oas I can. It hurts too much otherwise. The hospital bed has to go back to the VA, so I hope to find some different furniture for that room in the future. The gigantic old dresser needs to go, but Zorro can keep the easy chair. He claimed that years ago. ;o) Basically I'm just donating Dad's clothes and going thru loads of paperwork. He saved every scrap of paper and trying to sort the necessary from the useless has been a challenge. After Mom died 10 yrs ago, and he moved in with me, he really kept very little. "Stuff" was her thing, not his. He stopped driving when she died too, their car was totaled in the wreck and he didn't want another one.
So Dad's belongings are very few, except his clothes and a lot of framed family photos. I'm so glad I don't have a lot to go thru again, like when we lost her.

this is the photo I chose for his obituary, its how I'll always remember him with his wonderful smile, ready to tell someone a joke.

hugs, Karen

Great to see Betty was here and posted for you.

Punk

((((hugs)))

jane