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Posted by sistersunnie (My Page) on
Thu, Dec 29, 05 at 14:04

Last night I accompanied my husband to Sheppard Pratt Hospital and settled him into the Geriatrics wing. It was a tumultuous ambulance trip up and we arrived late at night. I didn't have the opportunity to meet all of his team but the ones I saw were warm and professional. The facility was clean, new and cheerful. I've spoken with his nurse,social worker and Therapist this morning will be talking with them again this evening for a report on his first day.

This was a difficult decision to make and it was very painful to leave him there. However as hard as it was for me, he seemed comfortable. He settled in immediately, appeared curious about the surroundings, was talking with the others, stayed busy exploring while I was doing the initial intake. After an hour he told the aide he wanted to go to bed, kissed me goodnight and walked away!

This is the first time in five years that I havent been taking care of him and I am both relieved and very sad. We have probably waited too long to do this but it was like the frog in pot with the steadily increasing hot water, we didnt know we were boiling to death until it reached a critical point.

I cant stop crying and feel like I'm shattered. Giving myself permission to sleep the next two days, spend time with my daughters and not think about it all. I'll pull a Scarlet O Hara and deal with it tomorrow!

I just wanted to update you on the situation. Please keep us in your prayers daily.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Inpatient

Relief and sadness would be completely normal feelings. You have cared for your husband for a long time with a very difficult disease. Give yourself permission to have these feelings and yet find some enjoyment too. Your daughters will probably have various feelings too but I hope you can all find comfort in knowing you gave excellant care for as long as you did. Good luck and God Bless.

RE: Inpatient

I'm so sorry, it must be breaking your heart, it's a terrible decision to have to make, you've given him loving attention, but now it's time to move to the next level of care for him.

My dad was quite distraught when my mother went into a nursing home. He cared for her for 14 years after her dementia diagnosis. It turned out, though, that she was much calmer and "happier" there. She seemed to feel safe knowing the boundaries of her world. This also upset my dad, but he accepted this as the right decision, and their visits were pleasant. She was no longer agitated, and she knew who he was. They lived in a Continuing Care Retirement Community, and the nursing home was part of the community, so he could visit any time.

You both are in our thoughts. Take care of yourself.

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