Wonderful news, Susie. I hope you are feeling a bit less stressed now. And being born in Ala., I sure understand the sentiment about kleenex in the South. I think I 'inherited' that line of thinking. Nothing beats a hug or a friend's shoulder in my book. Blessings to your Dad and you.

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and prayers. Geri, I hope you have a wonderful wedding and you feel better. Let us know how it goes. You know we love to hear good things happen to wonderful people. Blessing to you and your husband. Well, thing's did not go good the first day at the rehab my dad was fit to be tied. Mad as all get out wanting to go home. It is really bothering him seeing people in the rehab that can't do anything for themselves, Stroke victims. The doctor at the rehab said dad is in the early stage of dementia and I have noticed his thinking wasn't right but could not get anyone to listen to me. If it wasn't for dad having the congestive heart failure and having to have the pacemaker he's still be at home. One of the biggest problems with my dad is over medicating himself. He has prostate problems that made it where he could not urinate, his bladder closed up at one time so if he does not urinate he thinks taking an extra flowmax will make him go and no matter how many times I or the doctor has told him he's only to take one. Then he's also taken two high blood pressure medicine if he couldn't go. His primary doctor is a quack, he does not help dad at all, he's given my dad whatever medicine my dad ask for and my dad told me once that he had been told that this doctor will kill you meaning that he doesn't take care of you right but dad would not change doctors. Now that may get him away from this quack of a doctor dad may have a chance to get the help he really needs. I went to tour and interview a dementia center today. I liked the place the people living there are very happy. The ladies there cracked me up one say's she was a dancer and singer so she sung a little for me and she was really good. Another loves people she hugs and kisses everyone. They are pretty much on the same level of dementia. I don't know how it will go moving dad into another center but I'm hoping I'm able to tell him in away that he'll feel better making the move. I went by to see dad after I got done with the tour and his legs were swelling up, I told the nurse and I hope they are watching him close. If I knew how to care for him I'd bring him home with me but he's at a point where he needs nurses and doctors watching over him. I am very tired I hope I didn't mess this up LOL. I tend to leave things out, sikp or get ahead of myself when writting. Thanks for listening to me ramble on, Barb

BTW, having Power of attorney is not a substitute for the HIPAA privacy releases. Because of the vagueness of the HIPAA laws, every single doctor and medical facility can interpret them in different ways. Our estate attorney drew up not only regular power of attorney docs, but also healthcare power of attorney with HIPAA releases that can be used in every situation with any medical facility or personnel. First of all, it sounds like you may need to talk to a geriatrician, if you can find one (a dying breed, unfortunately). You don't necessarily need to replace his doctor, but get some second opinions here if you can. Second, it is sad but true that many people have these kinds of anxieties and will only go into facilities when they are forced to. Is there any chance you can at least get one of those medical alert systems so that your dad can remain independent a bit longer? Talk to your dad's doctor; they often get discounts for patients for some of these systems. Certainly there are bad facilities as well as good ones. You should start investigating what's available now, because good ones have a waiting list. At the very least this helps calm a lot of your own anxiety because you will have a better idea of what to do when the time finally comes. Once you've found some good prospects, see if you can get your dad to visit with you during social hours, so he can see what kind of activities are there and what the people are like. It takes time, so don't expect to change his mind quickly. My MIL lives with us and it's taken us a year to get her to visit a local senior center for a weekly seniors exercise class! Now she's getting comfortable enough with the people that she's considering taking an additional line-dancing class on a second day - for her, that's amazing progress. Certainly there's a basis for your dad's doctor to dislike putting people into facilities - it's been proven people are happier and live longer in their own homes. But your dad seems to be falling into that 'gray area', where he may not be capable of being independent much longer. It's hard for parents to recognize that they are failing and need to be taken care of by their children. It's especially hard for women, because the older generation and much of the medical establishment does not take women as seriously as they do men - that's just fact. I find I have to speak pretty forcefully to my MIL for her to take my word for things, she keeps saying, "Well, I'll ask my son when he comes home." It's just habit and cultural differences, so keep plugging away. Don't fuss or get emotionally upset over it - if you remain calm and logical, people will start to take your concerns seriously. It may not be obvious now that your dad is starting to get confused, but if dementia is indeed happening, there are tests that can help determine how fast the mental deterioration is progressing over time.

Thanks trailrunner, dad is 74 so I guess that might affect how well he recovers? He is walking around really well, and he gets out of bed and wanders around the ward, although last week he did lose his balance and had to be helped back to bed. After that they moved him to a room right next to the nurses station to keep a closer eye on him but he's back out of bed and wandering around again and so far he's been ok. It's really made me realise how fragile our brains are, like in the past I've been teetering at the top of a ladder painting the outside of our house and I've thought "I hope I don't fall because I'll break a bone or something", but I never even considered a brain injury which would be much worse. I'm so glad to hear you recovered from it, it must be terrible to go through. thanks mitch, he is in good hands and right now it's the best place for him until he gets a bit further along.