I guess in reading this thread I just wonder why anything has to be said about people doing things wrong in the first place. Why not just give advice if it is asked for and let people be if they don't ask? Besides, who is to say what is the right or the wrong approach to doing things? Gardening is one of those things where it seems like rules are meant to be broken. I know a lot of what I suggest to people is contrary to the advice and practice of most people on GW. Does that make it "wrong?" I don't think so, but many might say it did. Now what if I told you that folks from the University of Maryland Extension were so impressed by my garden knowledge that they tried to recruit me into their master gardener program? (I said "no" because I expect to leave the country around the end of this year). Does that make my methods right because some of the folks from the local extension were impressed by my expertise? I don't think so. At most, I can say that my methods allow me to achieve my goals. When I first started, the goal was simple: grow some tomatoes. They weren't great, but I did get a few tomatoes. And I had achieved my goal. As time has gone on, I've added herbs and other plants, and even developed somewhat of a speciality in hot orange habaneros (and no, not all orange habs are hot--you can dilute the heat a lot by using too much water), and become more ambitious. This year my goal is to see how far down I can reduce my produce buying. All my friends and (I think) everyone around me in my immediate neighborhood knows I grow edibles. If people ask me for advice, then I give them whatever suggestions I can. But if they ignore me, I don't care, and I probably won't even pay enough attention to them to notice. If people don't ask me for that advice, then I also don't care. I figure that half the fun of horticulture is the process of discovering these things for oneself. :) And I have enough of my own stuff going on. So live and let live works really well for me. :) Angie (who is stuck inside this evening due to a heavy thunderstorm)

I see an ophthalmologist. Over time I developed a cataract in my right eye. Surgery was recommended and I agreed to have it done. Every one that I know who has had cataract surgery has been pleased with the results, and loved to tell about how happy they are with the results. So I went in expecting good results. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. As the surgery concluded, the doctor told me there was something she had to tell me. I don't remember the exact words, but she was saying that she had not been able to retrieve some bits of the lens that had fallen back into the area of the eye. She cried as she told me that; we both cried. Her reputation and expertise is excellent. I was taken immediately to Charlottesville to a different doctor who specializes in such cases. I was put to sleep while he worked on my eye. Incidentally, I quite breathing at some point and had to be brought out of the anesthesia. He, and his assistant finished up and I was taken home. That was 6 years ago. I have limited vision in that eye and there is nothing that can be done about it. I'm getting a cataract in the left eye now and I admit to being hesitant about a possible surgery. I still see that same ophthalmologist, every 4 months. I accept the fact that "stuff happens" and this time it just happened to me, and, to her. I have never mentioned this here at the KT when someone posts that they are going to have cataract surgery, and the responses are always positive as to what to expect. I would not be the one to throw in a wet towel. We never know what is around the bend, but we do need to understand that, as I said..."stuff can, and does happen." Life is a bowl of cherries. Some times we end up with the pits. The thing is to just keep on enjoying the cherries. Sue

Thank you all so much for being here for me. It really is such a comfort. Jeannie and I talked for an hour today. Though it was hard, it all seemed to come natural, as it always has between us. I should have known it would be. She told me how much I meant to her and how I was the only one that she felt she could ever talk to about the hard things and it means so much to her that I'm there for her now. She asked if I would promise to be there for Jeff and Eric when it's over. I promised. Jeff and I have become very close during all this as when Jeannie wasn't strong enough to talk, he and I would talk. I'll keep calling him and checking on him. make plans for him to come out and visit us. Their son Eric is a very busy with his job and often travels, but I know he too will be there for his Dad. So will Jeannie's siblings and other family members. He told Jeannie today that he will not stay in their home after she's gone. I imagine he won't be able to bear being there without her. She said she told him to remarry as he's still so young. He told her no one could ever measure up to her, and I know he means that. I also told her how much she means to me, in detail. We talked about whether or not she should try another round of chemo, telling me what her original surgeon of six years ago told her yesterday after reading the CT Scans. He was very kind, telling her how he'd never seen such a fighter and he wouldn't tell her this if he didn't really feel it to be true, but at this point chemo would only make her sicker and probable shorten her life more. She's going to talk to her wonderful family doctor tomorrow and arrange to talk to the pastor that does the cancer therapy sessions as soon as she's back in town. We both felt she would be the best to understand her situation. She told me she was afraid the actual dying would be painful, so I recommended she make an appointment to meet with someone from Hospice. That way she'll know just what to expect and when would be the best time to start under their care and how she wants to go about it. We decided to talk every day we can. Something I wish I'd have done already, but as I said earlier I didn't want to cause more concern for her. We did cry a bit, but for the most part we had a wonderful conversation. She's going to have her son set up Skype for them so my daughter can talk with her, she's always adored Jeannie, and she and I both want her daughter to meet Jeannie. I know that will be good for Jeannie too as she has always loved children. When she and her hubby drove a semi together, she was trucker buddies with different classrooms around the USA writing them letters and sending special things from around the country to them to teach them about our country. It's just so hard to understand when someone so good and always thinking of others first, even when she didn't have much herself, to be taken when she could give so much more. But maybe that's why God is bringing her Home, for He has other plans for her from Heaven.

bpath-My dad was under hospice care for over a year before he died. He already lived in a skilled nursing facility, and hospice was adjunct care. He had congestive heart failure and made the decision that he did not want to continue taking medications except comfort ones. Medicare covered his hospice care 100%. The doctor at his facility would request extensions from Medicare, and they were granted. I am sorry you are having to make these decisions, but we found the hospice staff and nurses to be wonderful. They knew when his time was near, so one of my brothers, my mom and I were able to get there and be with him when he took his last breath. They even offered us free grief counseling after he died. I am thinking of you and praying for the best outcome in a difficult situation. Hugs.