Carol, DF would not be able to sell the farm without DM's consent, and so that would not happen secretly. He has only a small portion of what was the original estate from 1870, as it got divided a couple of times, but he lives on the original homestead and is listed in the Texas historical registry for continuous one family ownership for more than 100 years. My brother in Texas wants to continue the ownership, and his son will probably want to take care of it after that. I tried to call Mother yesterday, and DF answered the phone, which was a bit of a surprise. He said he was doing fine (which he isn't) and that Mother had gone to town to pick something up and had left him in the house alone (also not true). He then told me that someone had stolen his pickup and that it was probably in Mexico by now. That was pretty much the extent of our conversation, and then he told me that he would have DM call me when she got back. She did call me a few minutes later while Kevin and I were on the phone with our sister, and DM told us that she had never left the house but was merely in a different bedroom - where I guess she had gone to get away from DF. He seems to be driving her crazy, and she has very little patience for him. She told me that she threatened to leave him if he didn't stop telling her the same wild stories over and over, and so I guess he has the idea that she might leave at any moment. According to DS, someone is with him 24 hours, as he cannot be left alone for any stretch of time. I'm sure that my brother and his wife are doing everything they can to speed up his entrance to the nursing home, which is where everyone agrees that he needs to be - that is, everyone except DF. He would try to drive his pickup if my brother had not taken it away, even though he is almost completely blind. My mother gets tired of hearing him ask to be taken home and keeps trying to convince him that he is already at home. DB and his wife will be moving back into their own house in a couple of weeks, and this will make it more difficult for DM. At this point, I am just trusting my brother to make the right decisions, as I am not in a position to move back to Texas to help with the care. Speaking of sheriffs - DF threatened to call his local sheriff to have him come and pick him up and take him home unless DM takes him - he thinks he is being held hostage at times. Linda, what do you mean by "calling hospice"? I'm not sure what that is. It's nice that your son visited you from Sweden, but I think you are a long way from having to worry about death. It's very nice that you visit nursing homes yourself - I haven't been since my grandmother died. We gave our mother a big 80th birthday party and also a big 60th wedding anniversary party, and that was the last good family reunion we had, I think, except for maybe my nephew's wedding, and I can't remember when that was. I'm trying to figure out if and/or when we should plan another trip to see our family. We were there last December, less than four months ago; DF's birthday is in June, and he will be 89. Lars

Houseful, just as an added idea, when we planned DH's parents' 50th surprise party, one of the things that we added at the last minute was a guest book for all the guests to sign. There was space to add addresses so we could send thank you cards later, and pockets to put photos that we printed off, so the parents could sit back later and reminisce over the events. We enlisted one of the grandteens to wander the crowd, sit with guests, and offer the guest book. It ended up being a lovely memory book! Don't forget to have a few extra vases for flowers that WILL arrive, and need a place to be displayed. Many of the inlaws flowers were later donated to a seniors home, so the vases we picked up were just from the dollar store, and we didn't need to worry about getting them back to owners. Not sure on what your situation will be regarding gifts, but we picked up a large basket for the usual anniversary cards and the small tags that were included with gifts. We also had someone in charge of writing on the back of some of the gift tags, just what the person had given the parents. Made it very easy to mention what the gift had been, and the giver if for instance "Love Mary" had been written on the card. Which Mary? Who? LOL. We ended up with a large 3 ring binder of "stuff", info on bakeries, caterers, videographers, business cards, bed and breakfast locations for incoming guests, maps of the area, etc etc, and pages and pages of notes of who was taking care of what, who was picking up what when, who was booking whatever. It was very handy to have one point of reference for all the info. We had a most lovely time arranging the anniversary surprise, as the parents live in England and some of the logistics of organizing long distance with all the siblings spread out across the UK and Canada, were a little more difficult to iron out. I will say that some of the best moments were not caught on camera or video sadly, but we all have lots of fabulous memories that we cherish! We DID have guests that showed up hours early, for some unknown reason, as they lived near the inlaws, intown, but oh well! We put them to work too! LOL Enjoy your event, and be prepared to be exhausted at the end!

Cyn, I have a friend that always gives that gift and it is a hit. I have four baby gifts coming up and although some people do not like books until the first year milestone I'm going to go ahead and help start baby's first library. They are all getting the same thing, Julie Merbergs Dreaming with Rousseau and Julie Merbergs Mini Masters Boxed set that includes Dancing with Degas, A picnic with Monet, A Magical day with Matisse and In the Garden with Van Gogh. I guess even 7 month olds like the Dreaming with Rousseau and as we all know seven months comes up real fast.

I meant to ask about the nursing ingredients! One reason i started this... They ordered King Cakes. (of course). I was going to make a few. Don't want to compete with their gift...especially if it is a good one like an ann_t recipe. : ) I do need to make a batch of granola...i make it every three-4 months and freeze in food saver portions. Easy to share that one. I think i'll do this in two parts...A snack box of granola, cheeses and meats, pate'...olives, etc. Maybe make some parm flatbread, yum. ohh, with a small bottle of infused olive oil. Another box of easy re-heat frozen entrees. For the week following delivery. I have tamales i made during x-mas. A half dozen lasagna meals. (need to make that). A half dozen hearty soups with a few bags of homemade croutons. This is a good idea i forgot about. I have a fancy silicone ice cube tray...just nicer than the standard...a flatter disk shape. I think i'll make a citrus herb pesto type soup topper to add a fresh element to the soups. And freeze. Basically anything i make for us the next week or two i'll just double and set aside for them. Fun.