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helping others who are helping others

Posted by mommyjoof3 (My Page) on
Fri, Nov 26, 10 at 0:41

Hey everyone! Im a pca for a family who is providing around the clock care for their loved one. My role when night is to attend to Lo's needs and to check on her and listen for her so they can sleep. I do laundry dishes housekeeping personal care repositioning and so on and so on. During the day I also do all of these things with her caregiver or a hospice aide comes to assist in a bed bath. Their Lo was released from hospital to pass peacefully at home, but LO is a tough cookie and "seems " to be getting stronger/ better. Family is starting to feel they may be able to handle it alone with minimal help, maybe someone here when they work etc etc..Lo is not eating but drinking well. She has withdrawn unless family says lets do this etc. LO is bedbound. My question is this bec I want to help and be informative but not be insensitive and take hope away. In my experience of 10 yr hospice cna home care I believe Lo is going to pass when she feels ready but is holding on for unfinished business. I believe that LO is being chipper when family is around and trying hardest not to bother anyone because Lo doesnt want to be a burden financially or physically. I am only one outside caregiver, there are 1 or 2 others who come regularly who have expressed worries over her withdrawal. i know LO is dying and the family has accepted this. I feel that Lo is mainly withdrawing from outside care givers to sever bonds and try to be less needy so family will feel its ok to no longer use services. LO has expressed her concerns about family having to spend their own money etc etc and how much of a burden LO has become and now LO has shut down completely unless engaging with family. I have a good relationship with family bec I have been here for years however, I dont want to tell them these things in the rare chance that i might be wrong and them think Im only saying it to keep this job.Any advice?

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: helping others who are helping others

Honestly, if they feel they can handle the situation with just a minimum of outside help, maybe just let them try. They may discover that they were overly optimistic and call you & the other caregivers back.

Have they asked for your opinion? If they do, then be honest with them and express your concerns. However, if they don't ask for your input, I'm not sure what you can do other than let them know you'd be available in the future.

RE: helping others who are helping others

If you've got a good relationship and have been there for years, I suspect you have some "license" to speak with them about how you see things. From what you wrote, I see no reason why you shouldn't share your thoughts on behalf of the welfare of your charge. I suspect they may welcome your opinion. From the way you wrote I have little doubt you'd know how to say it.

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