You may be assigning to perlite that which is probably more rightly attributed to gravity. I'll explain. Even if there was a consistent volume of perlite mixed evenly into the soil from top of pot to bottom, it wouldn't have much impact on either the drainage (flow through) rate, how much air the soil holds, or the height of the perched water table. If you mix perlite into pudding, it doesn't increase aeration, drainage, or the ht of the PWT because the pudding simply surrounds the perlite and by doing so, rods of of any significant value UNTIL the perlite becomes a very significant fraction of the soil. Pudding + 15% perlite yields a medium with virtually all the physical characteristics of pudding, but perlite + 15% pudding is a different story. In your case, when using the heavy medium, the soggy layer at the bottom of the pot would have been there anyway, but that's because gravity dictates that the water moves down in the pot until the capillary attraction of the soil is exactly as strong as the pull of gravity. The perlite, in smaller volumes, can't change that balance, but it does take up some space that would otherwise be occupied by water, so it reduces the o/a water retention of the soil without significantly increasing aeration or the ht of the PWT. When using soils that don't support significant volumes of perched water, you get a much more even colonization of the soil by roots. Since the entire medium is well-aerated, you don't get the roots running round and round the inside pot wall looking for (growing only where there is ample) air, though roots will start circling if the planting is left to go badly root bound. Al

Hi and welcome!! I think worrying about whether the aide will quit is one of THE top concerns among folks in your situation. I know for me, it was #1 or #2. It will happen at some point, to be sure. BUT, I found that the good ones have an amazing tolerance for the behavior of their patients, esp if they have been doing Alz for a while. In addition, most of these folks really need their jobs. Somethings that worked for us included making the aide as much a part of the family as you can, which means be as considerate of her as you would be if she was a family member. Get to know her family and try to get her off for her family affairs, etc. Overtly recognize the behaviors that are distressingto her...my Mom would use racial terms common long ago and that was offensive to one of her aides, for example. If you have a daycare or respite option, you might want to give the aide a break by having her take your Mom there for a few hours or a day. Also get familiar with the agencies in your town than have aides, because you may have to turn to one of those in a pinch if your aide does quit. But you can find replacements with some work. It Is VERY stressful to have to find a new aide, believe me. Of course be sure you are paying her the current "going rate" in your area and pay her for her vacation. It is all about making it a good place to work. Lots of these home aides actually bond more closely with the family than with the patient. Talk to her every day, without fail. Good luck! It is a hard thing. Derry

It's good to hear that the instahot is not expensive to run. The water cooler is. I bought a device called Kill-a-watt. You plug your appliance into it and then that gets plugged into the outlet. It tells you the exact volts, amperage, hertz and kilowatts of the device plugged in. I did all my appliances about a year before our remodel because I was convinced I was footing the bill for the streetlight outside my house. The watercooler, with the instant hot on, was the biggest culprit. Note that it does not check 240 volt appliances. Ahh, there is a good ending to this story. As part of my remodel we upgraded our electric service. When we did, we found we had three locations that were causing the huge electric bills. The meter had a short and both clamps that it hooks onto were draining electric and the main wire into the circuit box was also 'burning' as my electrician put it. We upgraded to 200 amp service and ran all new wire for the kitchen (we had aluminum) and surrounding rooms (since the walls were open on the kitchen side). All new appliances and shut the darn water cooler instant hot off. Our electric bill dropped an average of $100 a month!

Thank you all so much for your input and support. The two biggest issues we are now addressing are those posed by some of you: Guardianship and Finances. As with any family and situation like this, you can imagine that there is much more going on than what I am able to express here. Families are complicated and this family IS complicated. The facility that she is in now has finally come to acknowledge that they can not just release her - they have said she is unable to make decisions regarding her medical care. Now we need to get two doctors to sign off that she is incompetent before proceeding with the guardianship. Determining who will be the guardian is quite tricky at this point because she is involved in a few legal issues that play into the short and long term affect of the decision. That will be hashed out hopefully in the next few days. If she is deemed incompetent the question arises as to whether she can proceed forward in her legal battles - most, probably initiated by her severe lack of decision making abilities which is a symptom of the disease - and whether it is in her best interest to do so. She is the one who initiated some of the legal issues. Others are the result of her behavior and forgetfulness. Like I said...it's complicated. Once some of these legal issues and guardianship is determined, than we can get more of the financial picture in focus. Thank you Graywings for linking the government retirement and the federal disability links. We believe she is under the older system; but as you said it needs to be confirmed as she did have the ability to switch over to the newer one at some point. We are learning more about her diagnosis which was originally known as Pick's disease. The symptoms fall into two patterns and her's is in the behavioral pattern which shows as impulsive, inappropriate social behavior, lack of social tact, loss of insight into their own behavior or others, repetitive or compulsive behavior to name a few. The other pattern type involves the language skills in understanding speech and such - she is not so much affected by this pattern. It is believed that the disease starts in the 30's and 40's which makes us now think that what we thought was a possible personality disorder had actually been early signs of this Alzheimer's. There has been a history of unusual behavior (as observed by outsiders but denied in general by most of the immediate family). She has definitely been told repeatedly by numerous people that she has Alzheimer's disease but is not able to make the connection as to the consequences. She will insist that the doctors are crazy and argue about every little thing, whether it pertains to the discussion or not. And then she will quite nonchalantly say "I have Alzheimer's, what's the big deal let me out and go back to work". Hopefully when they find the correct level of medication for her, she will be able to voice her desires. We feel strongly that her young teen son have access to her if he desires as the past few years have been turbulent for all concerned. Thank you again for all your info, recommendations on facilities, and especially the support. I will keep you posted. It will not be an easy road but I will look at this as a growth experience. The thing that has hit home hard is, without parents around any longer - WE are the adults we used to turn to for advice! With much appreciation, Chris