this forum a nice surprise!

13 years ago

I had always used garden web for my garden geek needs. Had no idea that other caregivers were socializing here. Hooray for the medley of my two most frequent activities!

My caregiving story is here on my blog: http://margaretmassey.wordpress.com/

Too little time to write it out now, since only an hour of daylight left to get to the garden tasks, but hoping to join in the discussion later on.

Here is a link that might be useful: The Dopamine Diaries - Caregiving for a Mother with Dementia

Comments (4)

sushipup1
13 years ago
This isn't the most active forum, but a lot of us keep checking back for new posters who are caught up in the middle of the maelstrom and need some support. I'll check out your blog. I hope your hours in the garden are sustaining for your spirit.

For active chat, you can also look at other forums, like Cooking, for instance. Sorry that we aren't the most active forum, but we try to be supporting.
blitzyblond_protege
13 years ago
This is my very first time of opening or looking at this blog, but if someone can't understand how busy a caregiver's life is--then their in the wrong forum. And understanding support is extremely precious; no matter how or when it comes.

Two years after my first divorce i moved back to my home town to help my mother take care of 6 of her family elders and my dad. There's two left now, we lost Daddy this June. My Grandmother is 93, sharp as a tack, but she's confined to a wheelchair for the past 2 years. My mother's cousin is 76, but has Parkinson's, she can still do some on her own, we just help where we can.

I've been a Nursing Assistant/Home Health Aide officially since 1984. Had my certification 3 different times in two states but currently let it laps. Had to turn my profession inwards on my family 10 years ago.

I've been remarried 18 months now. This is the first time I have felt in my soul that I will grow old with my husband and I feel safe trusting him.

My spiritual life is like a roller coaster, but we have a family prayer chain that prays for a massive prayer list every single evening via telephone conference. Other family prays at their own time, but they get it done.

Well, thanks for letting me vent. I've been chiming in on the quilting, & sewing, & embroidery forums, but I didn't notice this forum on the list until now. I hope next time i chime in, it will be to help someone.

L. Marie
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arugula
Original Author
13 years ago
Nice to hear from both of you. Comforting to know that we're in the same boat, even if it's not the most active forum, it's here!

http://margaretmassey.wordpress.com
karinl
13 years ago
What a marvellous blog. You write well, and think well. I enjoyed reading even the observations not relevant to our situation. But I definitely relate to visiting more than one senior at a time!

I want to respond on the subject of co-housing. I think that is also referred to as congregate living. And I think it is similar to the ideas of Abbeyfield.

No, I'm not spamming, but I want to let people know about Abbeyfield, although there are none yet in the US. Someone is trying to build one in Illinois, I think.

My mother-in-law has almost no memory left, and we recently had to move her into a facility of some sort, and we picked Abbeyfield. It was quite a carnival doing it (someday I'll write up that story), but the results were worth it - she is so happy. She could not have moved into a large facility with 200 new faces and long hallways. Most Abbeyfields have only 5-25 residents and residents have their own bedsitting rooms with communal spaces otherwise, and meals. My MIL is physically very healthy (more so than me, dammit!) and needs only a bit of help staying oriented and on track. There is just enough staffing to do this at our local Abbeyfield.

Abbeyfield started 50 years ago in the UK and there are now hundreds of individually self-governed Abbeyfield Houses all over the world. We are fortunate to have several in Canada, and more are being built.

If you have a parent who needs to move, a small facility WITH other seniors can be easier to convince them to accept. There are likely other models, independent or networked, out there in the US. And yes, if you go to such a place, chances are you'll end up serving on the board!

And now, when I go to have lunch with my mother-in-law, instead of taking her out, I lunch in with all the ladies - and we all enjoy it.

KarinL