How to get my 85 yr. old mother in my SUV?
heidiho
14 years ago
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asolo
14 years agoRelated Discussions
85 Year Old Mother in CC Debt - Help!
Comments (34)Coyote_Gramma, you may have worked for a counseling service that required for consumers to pay a monthly fee. However, not all organizations required a monthly fee. Years ago, in the early 90's, I have used one of this CCCS organization that showed on my previous replies. I came to know this service through a tip from a creditor collector after she apologized that she couldn't lowered the rate nor the monthly payment anymore. 'Til this day, I wish she knew how wrong she was. By letting me be awared of CCCS, she literally saved my life. I didn't pay a dime for the CCCS service. Their services lasted for over 4 years until all creditors were paid in full. CCCS explained that their non-profit organization was funded by the government. Most companies that takes monthly fees from consumers are individual operated. As for negotiating the rates and payments with the creditors, I tried many times but were unabled to go as low as 0% interest. CCCS, due to who they were, was able to negotiate 12 out of 15 creditors down to 0% interest easily. 2 other creditors agreed to 7% and 8% interest. The only one that would not budged to lower the interest was Sears. However, they agreed to a much lower monthly payment. I doubt that the normal consumer could easily achieve this. This system is better than declaring bankruptcy or even bringing your credit to a lower level. In my case, after all payments were paid in full to the creditors, I closed all those accounts down except for 1. A few years later my credit score reached to normal and later to a higher score enough where I could purchased a car and a house with very low interest rates. I now have 2 credit cards opened and have been maintaining a low to 0 monthly balance for many years. Although, Macey may not need this service, I am posting my experience for those that are in high dept to know that there is hope and that a non-profit organization such as CCCS do exist. It does no harm to check them out....See MoreTwin mattress for 83 yr old mother
Comments (10)My father-in-law lived with us from age 86 until he died last year a few days after his 92nd birthday. He had numerous aches and pains when he first arrived. We bought one of those electric beds for him, twin XL size, with a remote control. It raised and lowered at head and knees and had a vibrating feature. We attached the bed to a regular twin headboard that matched the other furniture in his "suite." We also put an egg crate topper and a regular WATERPROOF mattress pad on the bed, then flannel sheets. Cozy. His main exercise every day was making the bed, the bending and stretching that he did in performing the task kept him more limber than if I had made the bed for him. It turned out that DFIL hadn't been to a doctor in years and I started taking him in every three months, just like changing the oil in the car. The doctor put him on several medications and his quality of life improved a lot. Three squares and interacting with the family helped, too. Bringing him to live with us was a lifesaver for him and enriched our family. You may find that your mother hasn't been seeing doctors on a routine basis, so living with you may immediately improve her access to medical care. I agree with the previous poster completely about pain management and investigating that route. We spent about $1,100 for the bed and it was money well invested. You could try looking at classified ads and estate sales for such a bed at a lower cost. My teen daughter cannot live without her feather bed, it's like a four-inch-thick mattress pad. A feather bed might be more comfortable for your mother than an egg crate or foam topper. We bought ours at the mail-order (also web) Company Store....See MoreDivorced Father with 5 yr old son (Mother moved out of state)
Comments (5)Good afternoon everyone, thank you for the follow-ups. asolo, although that might be ideal, I'm not sure if I can legally do that right now? Our settlement states that sheÂs entitled to reasonable contact on whatever terms and conditions the two of us agree. mimi_boo and larke, I have an attorney since I've already gone through the divorce and parenting plan process. My attorney, based on information regarding a domestic violence incident in 2009 where she was put in jail overnight and ordered to take anger management class, said he didn't think it would be unreasonable for me to withhold my consent for out of state contact. That makes me feel alot better knowing I can prove that to the courts if she decides to fight for visitation in Ohio. She really can't do anything right now anyways since she doesn't have the money to hire an attorney. I will probably just wait it out and see if she backs down. She has been known to go on the path of promising but not delivering anyways. I'm just thankful that my son is with me right now, and he seems very happy and doing well in school. Thank you all again....See More15 YR Old SD is getting on my nerves...
Comments (19)"My children and I have open communication between us whereas she's never had that with her own mother so it's hard for her to just talk." This is only a valid comment if your children are OLDER than your SD. If you haven't raised a teenager, you can't predict what YOUR kids will be like when they get to her age. (and all teenagers are different) How do you know what she had with her own mother? Has she told you or are you guessing? Lots of teens find it hard to be open or talk to their parents even though they once had a close relationship with the parent(s). One thing is for sure, she is a product of her parents and it sorely irritates me when one parent, for lack of a better term, 'fails' to do a proper job of raising a child and when the child becomes unmanageable, they ship them off to the other parent. It's bad enough when both parents are involved ongoing but when they do it after years of keeping the other parent away or even if the other parent stayed away... you don't screw it up, throw your hands up and send the kid off to go live with virtual strangers! I'd suggest counseling ASAP for this girl but unless she wants to have a good relationship with her dad (and you), it probably won't do a whole lot of good. She has to want to benefit from it and probably at this point, all she can see is 'happily ever after' with her BF. "mother has not called anymore to check on her or anything. It's like she's happy to be rid of her." again, I cannot reiterate how pissed this makes me because the bottom line is her mom created this problem. If she kept dad away and f*cked up as a single parent, then how does she have the audacity to a) use dad as a punishment. b) throw the kid away and wash her hands of it. c) dump HER problems on you (and dad after preventing him from seeing her all those years). Of course, coming from a background where a mom would do that, it doesn't surprise me that a teenage girl would only think about how BF is going to rescue her and he'll be her family and they'll life happily ever after. That's a normal teen girl fantasy but when you have no real family in your life.. it becomes more important. At this point, how you and your family treat her (embrace her or just tolerate her) will factor in to her feelings of whether she HAS a family or not. If she feels like an outsider in your home and she feels abandoned or tossed aside by her mom (which seems true from your post), then she will latch on to something else. Lots of teen girls that long for acceptance or family, will have a baby or focus on a BF (or both) to achieve what they think what they want. It doesn't usually end up what they hope for *family*, it usually ends up with them being a single teen parent or feeling used by a BF and once again, tossed aside when he moves on... because most teenage boys are not thinking 'happily ever after'. As for you stepping into any role... let DAD be primary parent. If he is gone a lot, pick a time when he is home and he should sit down with SD15 to discuss what HIS expectations are and rules/consequences. Let HIM lay down the law and you might have to be the deputy that enforces it when dad is gone, but I would suggest trying not to make the rules too strict because you are not going to change SD from who she is.. but you need boundaries to maintain order in your house. Her dad needs to tell her that she is an example to the younger kids and as long as she lives there, she has to set a good example. My first thought was dad should have told mom no, SD can't come live there but then if he was kept away for so long and BM is 'throwing out' SD, then he really didn't have much choice, it's his daughter. But, if she is going to be there, she does need to realize that there are boundaries. The tough thing is if she refuses to abide by boundaries, sending her back to mom is not an option and neither is sending her to BF's family. But, like others have mentioned here, the behavior you've described here is not unusual for a teenager. I have a great relationship with my daughter (18) but she has her moments/days where I wanna scream! Refrain from comparing her to your kids because no two of your kids will be exactly the same as teens and your SD didn't have the home life your SD has. As the adult, you have to try to be more accepting and understanding of her feelings while trying to get her to understand how you feel as well. Good luck....See Morebriejean
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