Return to the Care Givers Forum | Post a Follow-Up

Can I Join??!!

Posted by TNLady (My Page) on
Sat, Jul 23, 05 at 19:54

Hi, Hey, Ho. I am a long time member of the Homesite forums. Fariegold knows me from being on the "Building a Home" Forum.

Built the house - and built a room for 91-year-old Mom to EVENTUALLY come to (a four-year project). As life would have it, she moved in two weeks after we moved in - before I'd even begun to unpack and live my lifelong dream.

Mom is 91. When she moved here from her "Senior Condo" she had just been in the hospital for 6 weeks in Memphis' Baptist East due to getting MRSA (or whtever it is - that BAD hospital staph infection) from her PREVIOUS stay for a simple Rotator cuff injury in Sept.

I took her in last Oct., then, Dec., ...the reality of the Staph hit her and my 4 siblings in Jan. It - whatever that staph is...was so bad..the CDC got involved.

So...backtrack; I'm in my brand new FOREVVER dream house in Feb. I HAD built a room for her. But I never expected that her "final care which I had proimised" would fall on me the minute I moved in. Guess "You Get What You Ask For" totally came true...;)>

At any rate, when she arrived here via my siblings wanting to DUMP HER OFF, she was near death. Even she knew it. She would lay prostate on her bed at least two times a week and just PRAY for death.

Long story short; Due to the fact that I live in a very small University Community and the Doctors and Alternative Health people all work together - we've brought her back from life. The Alternative stuff is what reeeeeally saved her but more on that later...

In the meantime, we're in a new (very nice, small crime-free-intellectual-loving university) community on top of a mountain.

I am going to a counselor to learn how to deal with Mom's EXTREME Passive-Agressiveness and my willingness to let her and my four siblings run rampant all over me...Another long story to come. (Have done much, much better in the past two weeks).

Funny thing is that I am a liscensed Gerontologist. Ask me anything about AZ, incontinence, social-psychology of the elderly, etc. -- and I can answer it in a technological sense.

None of my knowledge in my Master's Degree or teaching really helps with dealing with having my Mom here with me. I doubt that anything any one of you can read "out there in the media/info world" REALLY helps with "the emotions."

So, at any rate, I just want to join you with welcome arms. I sure could use some welcome arms from somewhere/anywhere.

AND I PROMISE TO BEHAVE!!!! (that's a take-off on Mom, who thinks that me at 50 --- with 6 kids and 2 grand-kids, and this wonderful home she lives in where I wait on her hand and foot - I am/or what I do is never ENOUGH!!!).

Hope you will welcome me. I need a porch to sit and swing (and cry) on.


Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Can I Join??!!

You are more than welcome!!!! You'll get good advice and when you want to just let off steam and vent....well, no one here is going to say "tsk, tsk." There's not a person here that doesn't have, or has had in the past, a situation that just tears you up, down and sideways! One thing in common is that we all know that you can't always please them or the rest of the family.

RE: Can I Join??!!

Hi TNLady & welcome to the CG forum! We all use the porch to sit, swing, cry, and share... :) ~breezy

RE: Can I Join??!!

Hi just thought i'd welcome you too! you have come to a great bunch of folks! plus the great thing is you will not be judged we are here to listen and give wonderful advice and best of all we have probably been there and done that and have just become one "happy" family in the next little while you will wish that these folks were your own family. come here, come often and is there room on that swing for me? debbie

RE: Can I Join??!!

Thanks Guys. It will be nice to have someone to vent to. No one seems to understand how much this takes over your life. At times I understand that from their perspective and at other times I feel hurt and angry - not something I want to keep bottled up!!! I usually am here everyday so I'll see you soon!!


RE: Can I Join??!!

Jean, Welcome!!! Come anytime to vent....this is the place. All the feeling, emotions certainly need to be expressed....we will listen and support you. Don't know what I would have done without all these wonderful sweet Mom died 6-26-05 after 9 years with alz....I still have my wonderful Dad living with us. Caregiving is not need a sounding board and we are it....God Bless, Nora

RE: Can I Join??!!

Hi and Welcome! The folks above are will find a lot of good help and support here...and you will need it all. Having your Mom there will likely tax all your resources and reserves...BUT your background will be of immense help also...even if "only" in giving you insight into your Mom and yourself. Draw on it! Nice to have you aboard! Derry

RE: Can I Join??!!

Hi, Jean. I have followed your house, and I love it. What a wonderful place to live, but then I have deep TN roots, too.

Welcome. I've gained a lot of strength here from everyone, and I'll need more in days to come. And so will you.

Isn't it nice to have friends who understand?


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!

Return to the Care Givers Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.

Learn more about in-text links on this page here