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Had to write the B!t(hy email

Posted by TNLady (My Page) on
Tue, Jul 26, 05 at 18:06

So..Mom (91) has chronic pain in her shoulder and knee. If anyone has been through the "trying to get narcotics for pain" dilemma...Doctors basically don't care how much you hurt unless you're dying. They are very stingy with REAL pain-killers. My philosophy is, "Hey, she's 91 and you're worried about her becoming a drug addict???!!!

At any rate, we did luck out with the local Doc who WILL give Mom 1/2 of a Lortab, morning and night - for life (one a day - the pain is NOT that bad). Unfortunately, she's not been monitoring that very well and I've been having to give her mine that I take for Lupus and Plantar Fasciitis in my feet. It has finally reached the point where I just don't take them anymore and give her all of mine. So, yesterday I gave her my last and wrote down a schedule on paper of when she COULD take the Lortab. If she takes too much then we WILL run out and she WILL be in real pain.

SOOOOO....I wrote my four brothers and sisters about the dilemma and the plan and got back from the one sister this email..."What's the big deal? Why don't you just get her some more..." Yada, yada, yada.

As I mentioned in my introductory email - dealing with family has led me to have to go to a counselor for support. I guess it has worked so far because I (the over-caring, co-dependent, only sensitive sibling) actually sent back the following email!! (I know it sounds harsh but all of my siblings are like prize-fighters when it comes to shooting each other down): I'm proud of myself!!

See below: response to sister

TNLady/Jean

P.S. I'm the baby...of five...this is the first time I've stood up to anyone!
____________________________________________________________

Her shoulder is much better due to Shao-Nian and Dr. Koella giving her Cortisone shots. Any Doctor is going to prescribe JUST SO MUCH of a narcotic. It's not candy at the candy store. She forgets and takes more then she needs.
If you can get us more Lortab, well then FINE. But, I am working around what she has been given and all she will get (while contributing ALL of my own even though I have terrible chronic hand and foot pain) so she doesn't end up with NOTHING for pain a month from now.
If you would like to come live with and take care of her every need, 14 hours a day, and/or go talk to the Doctors into MORE Narcotics...be my guest. Until then, I am in charge here and I know EXACTLY what I am doing every minute of every day.
Ask Janet how easy it is to get Lortab. Trust me, it is not. Mom is VERY lucky to have it for life two times a day.
It's about time you trust my judgement. I am 50 years old and VERY informed. I spend 24/7 taking care of Mother and if you think you can even endure it for a week, let alone give up your life, your family, and your job....Then go right ahead. Until you are willing to do that, I ask that you trust me and stop it with the judgements.
I have enough to deal with and as my counselor has taught me, "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE."
Back off and do what I ask of you/what she needs...phone calls and emails. Do your part or be quiet and stay out. John and your husband trust me. Maybe you should get on board.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Had to write the B!t(hy email

Atta Girl!!! I sure hope she listens and tries to understand. Sometimes I am very glad that I am an only child. I got to make all the decisions and there was no one to complain about what I did. I will admit that from time to time, when I was undecided as to what to do, I wished that I could dump the choice of options on someone else.
Hang in there
PB


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