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update on dad

14 years ago

He came down with a bad infection in his arm. He had fallen and scraped his arm. They treat him but it just doesn't want to heel up. They sent him to the hospital and they kept him for 3 days and then sent him back to the NH. Dad was back there no time till he was calling me and telling me that the driver took him to a motel where there was a bunch of whores. He wanted me to call the police and said he still had the band on his arm and could prove he was there. This was a shock for me and at first I just wanted to cry. Then I told my son about it and he laughed, he's use to having worked in NH's and hospital, he see's humor. He say's that if I ever get like that he'll be laughing at the thing's I say. I just wonder if he really will. it's much different when it's your parent I think.

I don't think dad has much longer before he'll not know who I am, 2 or 3 months maybe or he might not lose that part. Only time will tell just how far gone his mind is. I did talk to one of the ladies at the NH and she asked if I wanted someone to talk to my dad to let him know where he had been, I told her it would stick with him. He couldn't even remember what he was doing at the hospital with the PT. She had to move his legs for him or he would stop.

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Comments (3)

shambo
14 years ago
Thanks for the update, Barb. I'm so sorry to hear about your father's infection. I hope he can get some relief, but I also know it's very difficult for infections, breaks, and you name it to heal in the very elderly.

My mom just fell last week and cracked two ribs. There's nothing much they can do for her other then give her some pain killers. The ribs will have to heal on their own. But, as I just said, since she's 94 years old, there's no telling how long that will take. Or if they will ever heal.

I'm also sorry to hear of your dad's increasing confusion. I agree with what you said. You know with your mind to expect that kind of behavior. But when you come face to face with it, it's still hard to deal with.

I hope you are doing OK, and pray that God will give you the strength for the days ahead. Keep us posted.
mariend
14 years ago
Thanks for the update, and remember that smiling and laughing takes less muscles than crying. But then I always feel better when I cry--sometimes. Sorry about your Dad as I remmeber what a stress I was under years ago with my folks and see it alot here with friends. It is hard on the family, but it sounds like you have some good support from your son. Just remember the good times, and maybe start a journal.
Marie from ND
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Barb, sounds like you've had some pretty good visits and that your dad is adjusting little by little. I know his talking about going home is hard for you, but you're doing the best you can for both him and you. Bringing my mom to my home for the holidays is out of the question now. She just gets too confused about where she is, and that makes her afraid & agitated. Last year my daughter & I joined her at the AL dining room for Thanksgiving dinner & Christmas dinner. It worked out really well. We were able to spend some time with her in familiar surroundings. Then we opened her presents in her apartment. Now she's in the memory care wing, but I think they'll have a similar set up. Thanks for the update.
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mikeandbarb
Original Author
14 years ago
I called yesterday to see how dad was doing and it's not to good as for his dementia. He thought that his blankets were lying in sewage. My feeling's on my dad is that he'd be better off once it's over and he goes home to be with the lord and not have to suffer anymore but only our lord takes us home when it's time.

Shambo, I'm sorry to hear of your mom falling and breaking her ribs. Little did we know how it would be caring for our folks. I'd rather care for kid's LOL. At least you know what to do.

Thank you all for your support and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Barbara

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