Dementia + Sundowning
ladybugfruit
14 years ago
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telly2
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoladybugfruit
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
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Comments (10)Hi all, First, this forum is great. My wife cares for my mom who lives with us. She is 67 with Parkinson's and plenty of panic attacks and worrying. She has shown signs of sundowners syndrome as well. Regarding the guns, don't lock them up, get rid of them! This is an article from our local paper. This occurred two nights ago! From the Sun-Sentinel Paper (Ft. Lauderdale) Cooper City family left to ponder why man shot girl, 14 By Georgia East and Danny Sanchez Staff Writers Posted June 17 2005 COOPER CITY In the two months since Hans Bechtold moved in with his daughter, he had played an active role in the family even as he dealt with his own illness. He taught his grandson to drive and the family often went out to dinner together. Close friends thought Bechtold, 74, had settled in after the move from his Miramar home. On Thursday, family, friends and neighbors were left wondering what led him to shoot his 14-year-old granddaughter Wednesday night before killing himself. "What happened last night was not the man we know," said Deborah Whitehead, a friend of Bechtold's daughter, Diane Riley, and her husband Guy Riley. "He's very loving, very kind, very neighborly." About 7:45 p.m. Wednesday, Bechtold shot Nicole Riley as she talked on the phone with her boyfriend, said Hugh Graf, a spokesman for the Broward Sheriff's Office. The two were home alone at the time. Josh Chuven, who lives directly across the street from the Rileys, said he saw Nicole run out of the house, followed by her grandfather, who still had the gun. "If I didn't yell and she didn't duck, that would have been it," Chuven said. Nicole continued to run as her grandfather fired the gun, said Graf and neighbors. The teen was flown to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood, where she remained in critical condition Thursday evening, hospital officials said. After the shooting, Bechtold barricaded himself in the house as deputies and neighbors tried to contact him. Close to midnight, the Sheriff's Office SWAT team entered the house and found Bechtold motionless on the floor with a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Graf said. "It's pretty clear-cut," Graf said. "We have the who, the what, the when and the how. There's just the why to answer. That's the big part of the focus." The Rileys are a well-known family in their Cooper City neighborhood. Diane Riley works as a secretary at Cooper City Elementary School. Their son, Brian, attends Cooper City High School, where Nicole is supposed to begin classes in August. She attended nearby Pioneer Middle School, neighbors said. Friends said Bechtold was battling leukemia and had lost his wife to diabetes about a year ago. Recently, the Riley family built an addition to their house to accommodate Bechtold. Neighbor Charley Fazio said he had seen no signs of trouble. "He's been sick, so he has good days and bad days," Fazio said. "They've been living next door to me for about 15 years. Other than them yelling at the kids, I never heard no real arguments or anything." Fazio said he saw Bechtold earlier on Wednesday and the two said hello. No one answered the phone at the Riley's home on Thursday. Plywood covered the windows of the house, which earlier in the day neighbors helped clean up, said Chuven. "This is the perfect neighborhood," he said. "We're all one big family." For now, the focus is on helping Nicole get well. As of Thursday afternoon, she didn't know her grandfather had killed himself, said Whitehead, the family friend....See MoreTIA vs. stroke, Encroaching dementia, or meds?
Comments (12)Sorry it's taken me so long to come back and say thanks for your thoughts. It's been kind of hectic. I managed to sit down with the nurse on Sunday and get some info. I was surprised to hear they hate "no memory deficits noted" in her paperwork. However, after I voiced my concerns to the nurse, yesterday they had a speech pathologist working with her, giving her tests for memory and thought processes. According to my mother, she was nervous about it but was relieved to find she did well. She had a great day at physical therapy also, and felt full of beans. As of yesterday, she was really psyched to go home. They are having a meeting in two days to discuss her progress; unfortunately I can't be there. But I'm going to try to let the social worker know my concerns about her living situation, so she can mention them at the meeting. The nurse said she couldn't tell me whether the diagnosis was an actual stroke, the doctor would have to. But when I brought up driving, she said after a stroke the DMV is notified and you have to be retested. Her dropping that tidbit told me it WAS a full stroke and that I would not be wrong in keeping the keys away at this point. Also, my mother eventually told me the reason she was in rehab was because of a stroke diagnoses--otherwise the insurance wouldn't have approved it. As far as the meds, she is down to an antibiotic for a bladder infection, a second round of colchicine to try and knock out remaining gout, plavix, and norvasc only when her blood pressure is up. I was actually glad to hear she had a bladder infection because that explained a lot. Several times in the past I was worried about dementia, and it turned out to be a bladder infection. (She gets them a lot.) If she was better mentally yesterday, I have to think it was partly the antibiotic kicking in. I got the application form for the sr. apartment, and a floor plan but I'm also trying to get the house in shape if she insists on going back. Oh, as far as who diagnosed the TIA and stroke. Her first one was a visual disturbance, and her eye doctor was the one who first suspected it. She told my mother to get checked out, and at the hospital she was seen by a neurologist among others. For the second episode, she was treated by the same neurologist. Don't know about a specific blood test for it, but they've done CAT scans, MRI's, an EEG, checked the circulation in her carotid arteries, can't think of what else. I'm pretty confident that they've checked everything they can, sometimes twice!...See MoreI need an explanation for Wolfy's bizarre behavior
Comments (17)There's no bedroom downstairs, so the only way I could sleep in the same room as the dogs is if I slept on the couch. I'm reluctant to do that--although sleeping on the couch might not be much worse than the way things have been going lately. As I write this, it's 11:00 p.m. and both dogs are panting. Wolfy is clingy, nosing my arm and attempting to get under my desk. (He doesn't fit.) It's possible that these behaviors of his have something to do with the fact that I'm out of the house seven hours a day (minimum) now. Before I started this job in December, I was home with the dogs a lot more. Wolfy is quiet and seemingly content in the morning and early afternoon before I go to work, but when I come home at night his restlessness starts. Jodi, I've wondered about the sundowning phenomenon, too. Uxorial, I just noticed your message--sorry! I did remove the bone meal. Actually, I threw it out because Wolfy had bent up the box so badly. Sarah, it's nice to know someone else is putting up with very difficult behaviors from a much-loved dog. I caught some flak on the Pet Forum last year (just from one or two people, not everyone) because I tolerate a higher degree of ....well, mess from my two elderly dogs than was deemed civilized. I'm the first to admit that gracious living flew out the window when my dogs got old and often incontinent. But I refuse to destroy these loving and loyal animals to restore my standard of living. If the time comes for that decision to be made, it will be for their comfort, not mine. Thanks, all....See MoreMy dear friend is being abused by her demented Mom - advice?
Comments (21)I was fortunate in that my Mom did not show signs of violent behavior. The wandering was bad enough while she was still able to walk. I think your friend needs to rethink taking care of her Mom. If she finds it hard now, it is only going to get worse. Much worse! As you know I was the sole caregiver to my sweet Mom for over 10 years and I would never ever put myself in that role again and my Mom was a dear gentle patient. Your friend's life will change forever if she takes this challenge on. You become an appendage of the person you are caring for because as the dementia progresses you have to do everything for that person. My Aunt was the violent type, my sweet gentle religious Aunt turned into a rabid animal locked in a cage. Swearing, hurting my Uncle, telling lies that almost put my Uncle in jail. My Aunt paced, back and forth. She wouldn't sit to eat, sleep. She walked and walked and ranted. She would get out of the house and walk into a neighbours house and act like it was her home and not theirs. Even after my Uncle put her in a nursing home she never found peace until she died. That is what Alzheimer's did to her. As someone above said, get the Alzheimer Society involved. They will send out a case worker but first your friend's Mom needs to be assessed by a Doctor. There could be something else that is causing her violent dementia. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't hesitate to put my Mom into care and as I said I had it easy until my Mom got cancer and I had to give her insulin shots but taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's will suck the life blood out of you. 8 years since my Mom passed away and I am still trying to find out who I am and to put my care taking in the past and not let it define me anymore. I must say though after the first couple of years of taking care of my Mom I became a better person and had to let go of the anger I was feeling at having to give up my life as I knew it, my savings, dating life, getting married, having kids because I chose to do this. I learned to be happy because I knew if I wasn't happy I would be in H'll on Earth. Alzheimer's in a terrible disease, much more terrible for the person that is doing the care giving than the one who suffers from it. I hope your friend gets some help for herself and her Mom sooner than later. Anne...See Moretelly2
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