Depression is very common in the elderly. WHen you discuss this with her doctor, be certain you are familiar with all the side effects of anti-depressant medications. They are strong stuff but can really help.

Also, don't depend upon her to take them daily. You may find it necessary to dispense them to her yourself. You don't want her to get confused and dose herself twice because she forgot she's already taken one!

Good luck to you and congratulations for taking the initiative to help her.

Just an update. The visit today with her doctor was very productive. There was no doubt she is very depressed. He prescribed a very low dose antidepressant. He really spent time with her to get a handle on the situation. He also assured me that depression goes hand in hand with all sorts of dementia. I'm very hopeful that soon she will feel better. I know this antidepressant dosage is sort of trial and error and different for everyone and might have to be adjusted. I handle all her medications and dispense them when she needs them--she lost that ability a year or so ago. So I guess at the moment it's just a wait and see sort of thing. I am hopeful this will help!

The trouble with depression among the elderly -- usually compounded by some level of dementia -- is that it typically carries with it a considerable level of rationality. They're older and they know it; they know death is coming closer; they know they can't function as they used to and returning to such function is unlikely; something else is always happening; they don't do anything really useful anymore; many/most of their friends are already gone or incapacitated -- man, that's depressing! Especially with dementia, the ability to think your way out of it and/or "see the bright side" or "make a mental adjustment" is diminished. Even the normally upbeat have bouts of it.

Just about all anti-depressants are hit-and-miss affairs and they all take a while to kick in before you can tell. Just be sure she's regular with her dosages. They can be very effective. However, don't be hesitant about follow-ups if, after a reasonable period of time, you're not seeing results. Finding the right one at the right dosage is sometimes difficult.

Thanks so much for the advice. You describe the situation with her very well. She does have dementia but still has times when she knows that she is unable to do many things because she "messes it up" (as she puts it) Its hard to get her to try anything new or gain a new interest when she has difficulity with the smallest things. When the depression sets in she looses all interest with the things she can still do. Her view of herself is very poor. I'm thankful that she was able to convey that with her doctor and he really took an active interest to make her feel better. He is a real God send. Thanks again for the interest and replies to my post. I was beginning to feel pretty hopeless about the situation myself.

Yes I am in the room with her and have been the entire time she has lived with us. Even when she lived independently (before my FIL passed away) I took her to see the doctor and went in with her. She was having some confusion and forgetfullness even then. My FIL was sharp as a tack until he became ill and died. He was very hard of hearing so my being there was a necessity. I listened and conveyed the information to him and he did a great job with her. We had no idea how much he was dealing with till she moved in with us.
I have handled all of her medications from day one because she was occasionally confused and we didn't want any medication errors or double dosing. At this point she has no idea what or how much she takes of anything and the medication is well out of her reach because at times she will take anything she gets her hands on.