I finally got to read your whole post. I bet you are feeling like tearing your hair out because she sure doesn't seem to value your time or that you have other things to do. I am so sorry. My dad will be 91 in July and had hip/femur surgery in November and, sadly, it just hasn't healed. The next step is a partial hip replacement with a titanium rod inserted in the femur. What I have noticed is that on the days he has pain he can't seem to hand me his lunch or dinner plate or mail in order for me to clean up. I think it is a mental decision that they can't do the simplest of things. I think contacting any senior centers or any senior programs available through government services might be a great start. There are organizations that will take your mom grocery shopping or to appointments if they are fairly local. Some charge, some take donations and some are totally free. Many grocery stores have online ordering and will deliver to her home for a fee. That could be a lifesaver for sure. Do insist on being in charge of her calendar or you won't be able to attend or drive. She cannot make decisions for you when you are the ride. Let us know what you have decided to do and know that we all support you and most have gone through (or are going through) similar situations. The is a great place to vent! Robyn

Quality of file was always my main goal for my mother. Her death certificate says she died of lung cancer! Her oncologist confirmed to me that the cervical cancer she had about 14 years previously, 40 plus years of HRT, had spread to just outside her stomach and then to her lung. And yes the oncologist said that many years of estrogen probably did have a lot to do with the cervical cancer. My mother was a heave smoker so the hospice people just put down lung cancer. My father and sister went along with it and at that point I was just to tired to argue anymore. They forced mom to quit smoking 4 months before she died and my attitude was that it was just cruel. At that point what difference did it make. I just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible and if smoking helped so be it. Even her doctor said he didn't have a problem with her smoking. They went on and on about how they should have made her quit. I tried endlessly to explain it was never their responsibility to make her do anything and finally just gave up. Looking back I am fairly sure my mother knew she was sick the 2 years before diagnosis but she chose not to do anything about it. She told me that after the first cancer if it ever came back she wouldn't do anything about it. Mom was 81 and in the end she died in her own bed in her own house just like she wanted. Thankfully she didn't have any pain, non at all. But the whole experience could have been much easier for her, and me, if I wouldn't have had to fight family on so many issues. They just couldn't get it around theirs heads that she didn't really want to eat or drink anything and again tried to force the issue. I finally had to have a total screaming fit with my family because my mother was just crying about how they wouldn't leave her alone. I kept having to tell them that it was not about them and what they wanted it was all about mom and what would make it easier for her. It was not a day I ever want to repeat. Our first hospice nurse actually told my father that she didn't see anything wrong with my mother and if she would just get up and walk to get her strength back she would be fine! My question was what part of stage 3 cancer didn't she understand. Needless to say she never came back. In some ways hospice made it harder. The next nurse came in everyday and told my mother she was dying. I ask her to stop because mom was so confused she would forget she was sick. Again I thought it was cruel. Finally the third nurse was a keeper. She was wonderful with my mother and really helped my father cope with everything. Sorry about the rant but just today my father again said if only he had made her quit!! It will be 3 years on the 27th and it's been a hard week for me. I still miss her so much. Claudia

Actually, my wife is a bigger fan of watching football than me. We watch when the Packers are playing. The packers did not play in the super bowl this year, ergo, we made no effort to watch - did catch part of Bruce Springsteen's 1/2 time show. I understand that the Steelers made fantastic 100 yd run to their goal following an interception at the opponents goal line - what a save!

My Dad was the same way, Lazypup. Not with the hair and beard, since he was bald and couldn't grow facial hair because of facial cancer and a tissue transplant, but in the way he dressed when he was out with his cameras. He was a physician, but photography was his passion. He took black and whites, and would go out every chance he could and snap all day long. Not only did he dress for comfort, many times he would have his very well behaved dog Max (an Australian shepherd) with him in some of the roughest parts of Chicago. He was never bothered with that dog by his side. Stay true to yourself!