A discussion about dementia
sushipup1
14 years ago
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Connie Kru
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Mom with dementia upset about move
Comments (66)My mom has had Dementia for a while and she moved from an apartment to a room and board where she wasn’t taking her meds, never changing clothes, showering etc and had a small dog that she loved but was neglected and she would forget to feed etc. i ended up going to take care of her once a week, give her a bath, change her clothes, clean her room and take care of her dog. the Dementia grew worse. She would call the police 3-4 times a day, accused me of stealing from her and that the ppl at her room and board were poisoning her. They finally kicked her out and after I had been looking for months to find a semi-affordable assisted living/memory care facility that I will have to help pay for due to her limited funds, I was able to move her there and had to tell her the dog would join her another day because she said she wanted to live in the street with her dog. She’s not not been there a week and attempted to leave multiple times, continues to ask for her dog and leaves me awful messages that she’s gonna have me arrested, that she hates it there and that I’m dead to her. Doctors are going to increase or change her meds to assist with her anxiety. It’s been draining, and depressing- I am her only child and I have spent so much time taking care of her and all I get in return is vulgar words, messages and accusations - and all the while I am working extra to pay for her damn care while I have a family of my own and the money I pay for her is taking away from my own kids. It’s painful....it’s comforting to see others on here with similar stories of how awful loved become with Dementia.......See MoreRemember the discussion about pillows?
Comments (9)I love my latex pillows, all of them have the holes in them that allows them to breathe and air to circulate. They are heavy but so wonderful to sleep on. Memory foam is horrible it is extremely hot and I feel like I will be sucked into it. I had to wrap a towel around my head or the pillow when I bought one of those kind to try. I plan on always having a good latex pillow. But I have found you don't have to spend big bucks to get a good quality latex pillow. I just had my mattress guy order a latex topper for my new King mattress. The mattress has those divets on the top that look like if it had buttons that pull down tufted and I want to lessen the up and down of those on the surface and give me a little more plush feel. My joints hurt so much I need a little plushness. He offered me a great price for a king size so I am going to go for it. Glad to hear of another happy latex lover....See MoreIs this dementia, selfishness, or something else?
Comments (22)Can you talk to your mother about planning for the future -- more as a just in case than suggesting that she needs help now? In my view, everyone should have at least one other person listed that doctors can talk to. Even better would be to add a medical power of attorney that at least gived the named person the ability to make decisions -- decisions which can be as general or as limited as necessary. Do you belong to Costco? Their website has a computer program called WIll Maker. I used it to prepare some documents for my dad (he wound up not using them) and had it available when a friend's mother would up in the hospital needing surgery and the doctors were telling my friend there was a better than 50% chance her mom wouldn't make it. If her mom had difficulties or didn't make it, my friend would be in a terrible position. You don't want to go there. Both my mom and MIL had Alzheimer's and my dad had another form of dementia caused by heart issues. Don't count on being able to get conservatorship until you are past the point where your mom is likely to have had significant problems, injuries or losses. Besides that, taking your mom to court to take away her control and her dignity is not something you or she really want to have happen. I would strongly encourage you to talk with her while she is still competent and get her to at least list you and/or your brother on the medical information release forms so the doctors have someone they can talk to if she should fall or be in an accident. We all need that. If you can get a power of attorney, that would be much better. The power of attorney can be a way to approach discussion of end of life choices too. It will really help both of you if you know what kind of care she wants and her preferences both in terms of medical treatment and in terms of what happens with her property, a funeral, etc. These are hard things to deal with, but time is slipping away from you and you don't know how much time you have until your mom may not be able to help with these things and you are forced into the nightmare of taking away her control and trying to guess what she would want. If you know what she wants, you have a basis for making the difficult decisions. I cannot overstate how important that is. I lost my parents less than 5 months apart. That was difficult enough, but at least we all knew there was a plan for how to deal with all the unplanned things that kept coming at us. I know my dad feared that and wanted to stay in control, but in the end it as especially reassuring to him that I knew and he then saw me honoring his wishes and protecting them. Please try. For both of you....See MoreHow about a discussion on bugs and insects?
Comments (4)To find and get to it (if you don't have it bookmarked or saved to your browser's favorites) Go to The list of all of the GW Forums. Then click on and expand theNature.net link and choose View ALL . You will then find Insects listed under Nature...See Moresushipup1
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