where's heydeborah???

19 years ago

thinking about her and her family, haven't seen her posting in quite awhile...hope everything is ok?????? saying a prayer! DianePA

Comments (10)

nora8
19 years ago
Hey Diane...how are you and family??? I was thinking the same thing. Hope all is o.k. with Deb and family. I haven't been on as much. Been darn busy with being retired!! Saying a prayer for all my special friends here on caregivers. God Bless, Nora
DianePA
Original Author
19 years ago
HI Nora,
good to see ya! hows your mom and dad doing???
we aren;t doing to bad, DH's knees and hips seem to bother him more these days. one of these days his cancer dr will have him do another skeletal survey, its been over a year since he's had one, but think he is kind of worried what it will show! but time will tell! we take it one day at a time!! DH and I are back on our diets I had lost about 50lbs but gained 21 back, so got back on our diet, hate to call it a diet, more a life style change! I've lost 6 lbs since Monday! DH has lost a half pound, but I have been doing the treadmill, and he's really not able to do much exercising, so makes a difference!
the kids and DGK's are doing good too.
we didn't go to church today, got about 7" of snow and still snowing. our DD and hubby went out last night, while they were gone a tree come down where they park their van, so good thing they went out I guess, now he'll have to cut the tree up!
I have a dr appt the 13th, had my bone density test done again, had it done 2 yrs ago, this time they said i have a significant decrease in my bone mass, so have to go see what course of action we take. I have a little spotting now an again too, so going to have that checked out, since I'm on tamoxifen for breast cancer, it can cause uteran cancer, and i have fibroid tumors, so could be that. Hope nothing seroius though, its always something!
well got to go, take care and glad your enjoying your retirement. we are looking forward to planting time, glad your DF is still able to do his gardening! DH wants to add another 4" board to his tabletop garden, to make it deeper, gives him something to do! DD has some flowers atarted, but the cat keeps getting into them and eating them!
well got to go. take care !!! have a good day! DianePA
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Jeannine i wasd laughing when i read your post, why, because that's the way i do it, except i have a towel folded in front of the sink so al can rest part of his body on it - i guess chin. i also fold a towel around his neck and the cape. i don't have one of those hoses attached to the sink to i have a plastic one that you put on the fawcet. i also open the cupboard drawers under the sink so he can get a little closer. they have washed al's hair with the tray in the hospital, but you still have to have a pail under it to catch the water. funny how creative we all seem to be, i love it! enjoy your day, we're getting ready for rain but it's about 50 out right now, so for us it's hot - ps - i have shorts on!, i know probably you're all saying what a fool, that's cold out!
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I came onto this forum because I am having such difficulty right now with my elderly mom and need help and found this thread. It's been a while since anyone posted, but maybe I what I can offer can help. Several years ago I lost a best friend - he was the brother I'd always wanted. We were 12 days apart and had the same personalities - the good and the irritating. When his widow had to go through boxes of stuff that he'd kept, she called me to just be with her. So, we sat in the garage together and decided what to keep and what could go. I know most people go thru this alone, but if someone can just be there, even if they're just to keep you from being alone, I think it makes a big difference. It was more difficult for me than it would have been for one of her sisters as I was closer to him, but it actually helped me as I felt sort of aimless and lost after doing everything I could through months of his illness. And probably it was easier for Deb to have someone that was closer to him. Plan for a couple of hours in the morning and get a pot of coffee and donuts or a bag of cookies and four to six of the boxes and then plan for a definate stopping time and fix lunch or go out to lunch afterward and talk about everything that's currently going on in your lives. You're not asking someone else to go through the pain you're going through -it's different for them - they're there because they care for you and if they were close to your mom, their healing is at a different level. As for all the scarves, maybe donate them to some group that does crafts for kids in the hospital. They'd really dress up teddy bears or make great kites. Sally
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I think one of the nicest gifts anj elderly parent can give a child is to have the funeral arrangements taken care of, if not paid for ('cause I know some can't afford) but to at least make their exact wishes known. I will never forget the day my grandmother showed up at our door and told my mom she wanted to talk. she then told mom she had been to the funeral home, made for and paid for all the arrangements. When grandmother went home to heaven it was so much easier on mom...........my grandmother even told her what dress to put her in! LOL! As I said earlier, we are all going for direct creamation, no funeral home visitation, just graveside when ashes are ready. I think the visistaion is a waste of time, why wait till the person is gone, why not visit them while they are living?
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Debs, we've met and I think you're a lovely person!!! I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I think what you see is what you get with you....you're open and sincere....not a hateful bone in your body. ;-D Now. With that, I don't expect an iota of guilt on your part about not racing to your MIL's side. Her Karma has come back to haunt her...she made her bed, now she's laying in it! If your SIL questions you about it, just lay all your cards on the table, and tell her that what was good enough for YOU when Al needed them, is good enough for your MIL!! Hold tight to that, Sweets and don't budge an inch! I hope my cousin Sandra and Cheryl are there for you...Sandra wrote that she wishes she could do something more than just listen and be there for you, and I wish I could be there, too....Talk to them...they're there for you, okay? As for the fabric, yes...I'm still sending some to you even tho' you told Sandra you didn't need it...phhhhtt!! I'm sure you'll find some use for it! Regarding Matthew, Debbie....our kids have to pull away one way or another..unfortunately our two sons chose to do it this way...so be it. Yes, it hurts, but he could come to his senses one day, so be prepared. If he decides to move back, it'll be on your terms. If he settles down in his own apt, then he'll be fine...he's working, so he can afford it. He has to find out the toilet paper doesn't appear on its own. And if his girlfriend is a major influence, they'll probably break up and she'll leave him in the mess he created for himself. If they stick it out, then fine. They'll deserve each other. Sad to say, but it happens. However!!! Time can heal anything, so please don't be so upset that it disrupts your home: Al and Carley need you, so do as we Moms always do...suck it in again, and go on. Ah, ain't it fun? Now you know why I tell our daughter to stick to puppies and kittens! LOL!! Much less trouble and they never talk back! haha!! BIG HUGGLES!...Linda
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nora8
19 years ago
Diane, Good to hear from you. Hope things will be o.k. with doctors appt. Congrats. on shedding the weight...I so need to get back on mine...what are you doing???? I know that it is just a life change...stop the cokes...for me and no bread....I feel really strong and start and then before you know it I am eating treats...I don't buy them for us but my Dad loves his snack cakes and I will reach for one while down there.LOL Went to church this morning and put my black slacks on and they were snug....what will I wear....LOL....sorry to hear that you are getting so much snow....we had such a beautiful day...everything is blooming...I just love this time of year...yours will come soon. Take care and thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Nora
Glitter53
19 years ago
Hello, Nora and Diane....

Been wondering where Debbie is, also! We've been emailing, but I haven't heard from her for a few days....I'll email my cousin there and ask if she's seen her....
Take care
Linda
heydeborah
19 years ago
hi everyone! thanks for thinking about me! so many new names, welcome all! you all made me feel so special! i've been going through a hard time, trying to figure some things out for myself, i think i'm just tired and don't have enough time in a day to do everything! spring has finally arrived here in "the Bay" for you folks in the southern states, we only have about 3 feet of snow now!! but we have to have one more big snow storm to have spring. al is just tired now and sleeps his days and is awake at night, and his "legs" are in alot of pain, his heart meds are making him sick all the time, -- i'm starting to think he may be giving up, and then i think maybe it's the weather, but he doesn't look well. the kids are fine, and ds is going to toronto, next week for work, -- to go golfing - to learn about new golf clubs, that will be nice for him since we have alot of friends and relatives there, dd is going to sign up for big sisters next week it will help her when she applies to university, this is a really heavy semester for her but she seems to get all the work done. i've had a ton of migranes and my doctor is off sick again until the fall, infact i just came from the clinic and saw the doctor on call, -- are you ready for this one, dd and i went to the garden show here in town, i felt something bite me and didn't think anything more about it, until today when i felt sick, so she and i went to the clinic, i was bit by a korean insect and have 8 bites on my leg, so i am on antibotics for the next 10 days -- it could only happen to me! congrats to all the weight losers -- do you know that diet is a 4 letter word at our house - lol. well gang it's time to open a new mystery book in that bubblebath! enjoy the evening and the mild weather! debbie
DianePA
Original Author
19 years ago
Deb, good to see ya! was worried that something might have happened to Al or one of you! glad thats not the case! Sorry Al isn't feeling good and not sleeping well, can you some how entertain him during the day to keep him awake, and maybe he would sleep better at night? not sure what though, just a thought! sorry you got all those bites, sounds painful, hope the antibotics do there job!!! take care and enjoy the nice weather. we had about 7" of snow on Sunday, but all melted off on Monday, and today was about 70!! good to see ya back!! DianePA
Glitter53
19 years ago
Well it's about TIME, Debbie! ;-D NICE to hear from you again!
Sorry about Al...Diane may have something there, about keeping him awake during the day...maybe you could take up the drums or something...? Have you talked to his doc about those meds making him ill? How long has he been on them? Honey, it's no wonder you're having migranes...so much on your plate. Has your son come here, yet?

We're down to only patches of snow, our front yard is free of the stuff, and only one patch left in our back yard which, if it doesn't disappear soon, will have a blow-dryer aimed at it! Our tulips are up about 4"! Yes,...paradise! haha! Until the mosquitos arrive! Sorry about your garden-show experience! I'll have to tell my cousin that story, I know she went to it there, too! Good grief.

So. Hide in your tubby with a good book for now and stay indoors until the snow is all gone! Or until you run out of food. Whichever comes first...;-)

Take good care, Sweetie!
Blessings
Lindi
nora8
19 years ago
Deb, So good to see your post...sorry Al is not feeling well and I pray those migranes will stop for you and enough,enough....a spider bite!!! Hope those meds. take care of it. Sounds like your kids are busy. Wished I could box up some of our beautiful sunshine and warm weather and send to you....be good to yourself...bubble bath and good book....God Bless. Nora
derryw
19 years ago
Hi Deb...glad to hear from you. I, too, was worried about you guys. I know it drags you down when Al is feeling so bad. I remember a while back that the meds were making him sick...and then he felt better...what did they do to help help him then?
Sending a warm PUFF of Virginia air your way...the daffodils are in bloom and tulips on the way.
(((Deb))) Derry
heydeborah
19 years ago
hi everyone on this gloomy cloudy day it's 6C or about 41F out right now, the windshield was covered in ice and we're all still wearing parkas boots, mitts and toques (for our new friends out there, they are winter hats). these antibiotics are making me feel ill, but i'm just going to take them, to me it's worth being sick for awhile and maybe lose some weight! (no diet (that 4 letter word) for this gal! we did find out (actually just awhile ago) that the pharmacy changed brands on one of al's meds, so we're going to have to take them at different times and see if that will work or not -- it did before) friday he goes to the eye doctor to see if it's time to get the cateracs done again (linda i think you'd be interested in this one -- because al is a diabetic, we don't have to pay for the visit, but when i did our income tax, old dalton is making sure he get's his ohip paid for, and the other weird thing is our income tax returns are done in winnipeg, not even our province). matthew decided not to go to your town because he was supposed to fly back, then the guy said i'll give you 50.00 towards the greyhound!) oh well, this guy is really nice, he'll be the new manager of old navy , and his family lives in your city. i did really well yesterday at the salvation army -- got 2 mary maxim sweater kits not even opened for 3.99 each! has anyone seen any robins yet? enjoy your morning and smile at a stranger! debbie

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