Eric if the history of taxol is any indication then my point is valid regarding trying to patent a natural substance which leads me to believe the rules of the game are restrictive and favor synthetic drugs. The following is an excerpt from a Wikipedia article on taxol which shows even a pharmaceutical company has had numerous headaches with the process: While it seems clear the NCI had little choice but to seek a commercial partner, there was also controversy about the terms of the deal, eventually leading to a report by the General Accounting Office in 2003, which concluded the NIH had failed to ensure value for money.[52] In related CRADAs with the USDA and Department of the Interior, Bristol-Myers Squibb was given exclusive first refusal on all Federal supplies of Taxus brevifolia. This exclusive contract lead to some criticism for giving BMS a "cancer monopoly".[53] Eighteen months after the CRADA, BMS filed a new drug application (NDA), which was given FDA approval at the very end of 1992. [50] Although there was no patent on the compound, the provisions of the Waxman-Hatch Act gave Bristol-Myers Squibb five years exclusive marketing rights. In 1990, BMS applied to trademark the name taxol as Taxol(R). This was controversially approved in 1992. At the same time, paclitaxel replaced taxol as the generic (INN) name of the compound. Critics, including the journal Nature, argued the name taxol had been used for more than two decades and in more than 600 scientific articles and suggested the trademark should not have been awarded and the BMS should renounce its rights to it.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.

Posted by silversword (My Page) on Wed, Oct 1, 08 at 14:20 Someone mentioned PAS Syndrome, so I looked it up to see what it is. This is the definition of PAS as described by R.A. Gardner who discovered the syndrome and has become an expert in dealing with the issue.Gardner's definition of PAS is: "The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent."(Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.) Basically, this means that through verbal and non verbal thoughts, actions and mannerisms, a child is emotionally abused (brainwashed) into thinking the other parent is the enemy. This ranges from bad mouthing the other parent infront of the children, to withholding visits, to pre-arranging the activities for the children while visiting with the other parent. http://www.paskids.com/ I don't know very much about it, but this is what my mom used to do with my dad. It really is sad how children get in the middle. Posted by sue36 (My Page) on Wed, Oct 1, 08 at 19:39 A good friend of mine had this happen to him. He had custody and then custody got transferred to his ex-wife after she cleaned up her act. She had basically abandoned the kids (after cheating on her husband, our friend) and after getting custody she set out to systematically eliminate our friend from the children's lives. It got very, very ugly. He now has no contact with the children. Many years ago I dated a guy who was recently divorced and something similar happened to him. While he was in the military, away on deployment, his wife moved out of their on base housing without even telling him (he learned when he got back from a deployment, can you imagine?). She moved back to her home state and they got divorced. They agreed she would have custody (the child was young) and he would have visitation where he would go to her home state until the child was a certain age. She then married a former boyfriend very soon after the divorce. The custody arrangement wasn't worth the paper it was written on. She decided her new husband should be the child's father (not just step father). She would disappear with the kid when he showed up for court ordered visitation (he had to fly there). She wouldn't answer the phone when he called to speak to his child. The court (the court in her home state) wouldn't do anything. He eventually gave up his parental rights and her new husband adopted the child. He couldn't take it anymore. Both of them spent small fortunes fighting to enforce the visitation orders and got nowhere. Â Posted by moonie_57 (My Page) on Wed, Oct 1, 08 at 20:45 And I don't think that PAS is necessarily one parent against another, although I didn't read the link provided. Just from the explanation, I feel like this is what my DD's adult friend has done. She bad mouths DH and I to DD. Even after going to court, and the woman being found guilty of contribution to the delinquency of a minor, DD still has contact with her. I'm just trying to find proof. Â Posted by silversword (My Page) on Thu, Oct 2, 08 at 15:42 Moonie, I didn't think of it like this, but you're right! "And I don't think that PAS is necessarily one parent against another" I have seen this happen as well. It must be really hard to deal with your individual situation because this is probably an older, "cooler" person than your DD and she must look up to them. It's hard to see sometimes, especially as a teenager, that your parents really have your best interests at heart and aren't just trying to keep you away from your "good friend". I remember my mom telling me one of my friends wasn't a nice girl, and I didn't believe her. In retrospect, she was right. I only hope this girl removes her tentacles from your daughter before more damage is done.

That kitten needs another kitten! He is doing what comes naturally - trying to learn to fight. It's a deep instinct and the cat can't help doing it. Kittens do this by playing with each other, very hard and wildly. They leap on each other, chase, nip, and claw. Then they fall asleep and then they awaken and do it all over again. Is there any chance that your parents would adopt another kitten, preferably a bit younger? I've had cats all my life, almost always just one at a time, or at least adopted at intervals. Then four years ago we adopted two ten-week old kittens from the SPCA. It was a revelation in raising cats. They took out all their aggression on each other. With DH and me they are the essence of gentleness, cuddliness and purrs. They are also tightly bonded to each other, they sleep together, groom each other, follow each other around, etc. They have NEVER bitten, scratched, attacked or hissed at us, NEVER. That's because they learned to fight with each other, as nature intended. Except for a year or so of disorder in certain parts of the house, two cats are really not much more work than one. You need at least two litter boxes (we just have two), and two feeding bowls, a few toys, and a few large, soft pillows and throws. That's it. If you can add another kitten, and soon, there will be a bit of hissing and growling when they first meet. That will pass quickly, when each one discovers that it finally has a playmate! The sooner the better, while both are still kittens and willing to accept each other quickly. IMO taking the kitten to visit the other cat, or vice-versa, won't work, as it will be a territorial intrusion, and there is likely to be much hissing and very little acceptance. If possible, do give this some thought! And good luck with wild kitty!