Mentally ill mother -

15 years ago

My mom has paranoid schizophrenia as well as high blood pressure and diabetes. She has stopped taking all her medication and is showing signs of a mental relapse. I have a sister and 4 brother but only two of us live in the community.

My siblings all want her to be committed involuntarily even though she is not a danger to herself or others. Her mother and myself are the only one against the idea, since we believe she should have medical problems cleared up by a doctor, before we take such a huge step as involuntary commitment.

She complains about physical illnesses in such bizarre ways that the others simply dismiss it as being crazy rather than following up. When she complained about "yellow worms" infesting her body they dismissed it, said she was just crazy but when I took her to the doctor, it turned out she had a severe yeast infection.

I am really angry and resentful about my siblings, who at most, call her every week or so, telling me I need to go along with their wishes about committing my mom right now. They contribute nothing to her care but want to call all the shots. It's so frustrating.

Comments (7)

agnespuffin
15 years ago
You didn't say how old she is. However, it's unlikely that her medical problems can be "cleared up" or even controlled unless she becomes capable of taking her medicine without supervision.

So..in a sense, she is a danger to herself because she can't understand her need for medication. A doctor is not going to be able to help her unless she is able to help herself. The fact that she has quit taking her medication points to the obvious that she is no longer in control of her needs.

Perhaps a short term involuntary commitment is the way to go. It should be long enough to straighten her out so that she can be trusted to take her medications properly.

And, how will you and your mother feel if one day she decides that someone is trying to kill her, and she tries to protect herself? This happens more often than you may think possible. Think about the possible consequences of putting off adequate treatment.
watergal
15 years ago
How old is your mother? What is her living situation now? Perhaps you could consider assisted living, where medication management is part of the package they offer?

Although she in not mentally ill, MIL went to assisted living when her doctor said she could no longer live at home alone, because she wasn't able to manage her medication and it was seriously endangering her health (she has congestive heart failure).
Related Discussions
HAVE: growing seeds and gardening helps.my mental illness
Q
Comments (4)
Got to; http://www.gardenhoard.com/ Click on Free seeds, the Free SASE Seeds. you can sign up for the free newsletter, but you can select 8 different seeds, they will send you 6 and you can order again after a month. The instructions ask for a SASE with 2 stamp. They usually have about 5 pages of 15 selections to chose from. The other nice thing is they send them in those little plastic envelopes that are so handy when you share with others. I just put a slip of paper inside when I use them to send to others so they will know what they are getting.
...See More
mentally ill chum (long)
Q
Comments (2)
Be firm. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Go to bed knowing that you're doing all that you can do and that you can't solve this problem as a lot of it is completely out of your hands. The "system" can only step after things get dire and even then there are limits to what can be done. I could have written your story only it would be about my brother who refuses to get help or allow anyone to help him. Know that there are plenty of people out there faced with the same crisis as you are. Some stories end up with happy endings and some don't.
...See More
I'll Paint a Mental Picture; Can You Paint One for Me?
Q
Comments (4)
Thank you for the wonderful sites, yayagal. I love white matelasse (and ivory) but I'm not fond of busy bedding. However, right now I have 3 botanical prints above the bed, the center one being higher than the rest. They have pink roses and the mats are a light turquoise paisley print. In fact, the pink of the roses is the same color as the Victorian ladies chair. I love prints in a room, but I think I'd prefer these to be in pictures, or in a coverlet folded at the foot of the bed. I might add that I have some "stash" already...two tall creamy ivory lamps with colums and cherubs sitting at the base, a pair of gilded French Country lamps, one of a French girl in period dress, and the other of a boy. I have antique plates with roses on them, the same as the botanical prints. I also have a silver tray with crystal perfume bottles. I probably have the things I need already to create the room I want...but I don't know how to put it together. A friend suggested that I paint the walls, but I sorta like the look of neutral and white. And besides, as you enter the bedroom via French doors, the room you're leaving (the kitchen/dining area) has red walls. I know it would be a jolt to the eyes to leave a red room, and enter a room which has a clashing color. Also I think one of the reasons I want to change the room is because a friend said that I needed to have a more sophisticated room, that it looked too feminine and girly. Guess I was going for a sophisticated French Country/Romantic look and just don't know how.
...See More
I don't understand mental illness...
Q
Comments (25)
Lazypup thank you so much for sharing your story. So many people misunderstand what mental illness can do to people and those that live with them. My DH was diagnosed with BPD in the last decade. If only he had been diagnosed earlier how different our life might have been, especially financially. He has always been high functioning and a hard worker blah blah blah so it was easy to dismiss the erratic behavior. I can relate to the job walk-offs. One year he had nine different 1099s. He is stablized with a couple drugs that are pretty side effect free for him also. One of the "lucky" ones who hasn't needed lithium. It will never be perfect but it is so much better than before. I also agree with you on the over diagnosing that goes on with children. It is the boys that have it worse since the feminization of our society expects them to have the same behavioral characteristics that girls do. Our children's childhoods are being stolen. They are expected to learn more at an earlier age,have a lengthened school day with less recess,not given opportunity to blow off steam and burn off that excess energy and have every minute of their waking hours micro-managed. Yet at the same time many are still drinking out of those stupid sippy cups and being pushed around in strollers at age 5.
...See More
kandm
Original Author
15 years ago
She just turned 65.

I'm not ruling out the possibility of short term institutionalization, it's just that she has medical problems that seem to be discounted in the rush. I just have a hard time believing she will be more comfortable being treated for medical problems in a public institution than she would be from physicians she has seen for 20 years.

"And, how will you and your mother feel if one day she decides that someone is trying to kill her, and she tries to protect herself?"

This kind of behavior has never been an issue, she is not violent, when she is or is not on her medication. It is a misconception about schizophrenics that they are all violent.
suzieque
15 years ago
>>> They contribute nothing to her care but want to call all the shots.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I have the same situation and I truly understand the effect on you because of your sibs'. I'm sorry that I don't have any input about your Mom, but I just wanted to reach out to you as I know what your siblings' criticism must do - I live it.

Suzieque
mariend
15 years ago
Who has power of attorney, pays her bills, etc. I would suggest contacting a elder care organization to get guidance. A short time in a nursing home etc could help put her back on her feet and an alternative Dr might have some new ideas. Ask her Dr for a second opinion Dr.
If you or someone in the family have not set up legal papers, do it now, because if no one has, and she has to go to the hospital, no one can even discuss her problems because of the HEPA laws.
jakkom
15 years ago
>>because of the HEPA laws.Just to set the record straight - HEPA is an air filter. The correct phrase I think mariend wants is HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996). Easy to get confused, I know!
funkill
15 years ago
My mother was an alcoholic who was unable to take her meds for diabetes & hypertension let alone get proper nutrition due to her continual "inebriated" state. She was getting quite ill due to her multiple diseases and was unable to comprehend the *big picture* or respond adequately. I knew that something more invasive needed to be done and found that (in FL) we have a process called "Baker Act" that allows mental health professionals, police, or a judge to initiate an involuntary examination. Unfortunately, I had to petition the court to have this process put in place since her POC physician did not recognize the depth of her alcoholism ... the court responded in 24 hours and a deputy went to her home and took her to a facility. I was with her at the time and explained that a member of family services had petitioned the court (half truth). She went without much fuss and it was the best thing that happened. She was thoroughly assessed mentally and physically and was released about a week later after she was stabilized and after putting some home-care assistance in place. It didn't last for long - but I felt that the examinations she received were very valuable. So the thought of temporary committment (if it's anything like this Baker Act) might be a first step ....

Mentally ill mother -

Comments (7)

agnespuffin

watergal

Related Discussions

kandm
Original Author

suzieque

mariend

jakkom

funkill

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Mentally ill mother -

Comments (7)

agnespuffin

watergal

Related Discussions

kandmOriginal Author

suzieque

mariend

jakkom

funkill

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

kandm
Original Author