I got this booklet through the Alzeimers web site. It is a very nice little booklet. My Dad has AD. The price was GREAT! You can't get better than FREE!!!

Mimi...My Mom started out that way, too, when she still felt time passing...now it could be a day, an hour, it doesn't mattter. When we were considering going away for two weeks in August (before she was placed), I was going to give her a calendar that she could "X" out each day in an attempt to show her time passing and getting closer to our return. And perhaps doing it another way: a sort of "advent" calendar. Patti may certainly have a point: they can simply forget they asked. Does your Mom do that with other things as well? Perhaps ask the same question about when her care-taker was coming, after she'd been and gone, for example? My Mother always enjoyed a soap opera on here at 4:30pm, and started handing me the tv remote to "make it 4:30" so that she could watch it. Alzeimers patients simply revert back to childhood, and telling time can be one thing that they forget how to do. Go. Enjoy your weekend away! I'd been told here many times that I needed to care for myself if I was to do a proper job with Mom....heed that advice. ;-) And if she's cared for, warm, fed, dry, you don't have to worry about her at all! Now go! Shoo!! ;-D

Hi and welcome!! I think worrying about whether the aide will quit is one of THE top concerns among folks in your situation. I know for me, it was #1 or #2. It will happen at some point, to be sure. BUT, I found that the good ones have an amazing tolerance for the behavior of their patients, esp if they have been doing Alz for a while. In addition, most of these folks really need their jobs. Somethings that worked for us included making the aide as much a part of the family as you can, which means be as considerate of her as you would be if she was a family member. Get to know her family and try to get her off for her family affairs, etc. Overtly recognize the behaviors that are distressingto her...my Mom would use racial terms common long ago and that was offensive to one of her aides, for example. If you have a daycare or respite option, you might want to give the aide a break by having her take your Mom there for a few hours or a day. Also get familiar with the agencies in your town than have aides, because you may have to turn to one of those in a pinch if your aide does quit. But you can find replacements with some work. It Is VERY stressful to have to find a new aide, believe me. Of course be sure you are paying her the current "going rate" in your area and pay her for her vacation. It is all about making it a good place to work. Lots of these home aides actually bond more closely with the family than with the patient. Talk to her every day, without fail. Good luck! It is a hard thing. Derry

Yesterday, I spent the day with my mom, who is now living at my sister's home. My husband and I had some errands to run and we took her along with her wheelchair and all was fine...except... we had made a purchase and some arrangements had to be made for delivery, etc, so I took my mom outside and my husband took care of things. It took him about 45 minutes. No less than 20 times, my mom said "where is he? why is it taking him so long?" and every time, I would calmly answer the same answer, until I finally almost exploded and said "mom...I've answered that 19 times already!" and as soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it so. I saw the look of hurt on her face. It's so sad, because even though she has no short term memory, she is still very much in touch with her emotions, and that is one of the reasons it is so hard to deal with. I tried to make up for it by giving her a big hug and she seemed okay. Ten minutes later, we were in the car and she spent the next 40 minutes poking the back of my head and then denying it...this disease can just make you nuts. Mimi