How do you have an in-law live with you and keep your sanity?
mom2emall
15 years ago
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stargazzer
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agomom2emall
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
How do you keep your animals safe?
Comments (16)What would I do? What have I done? All of it. Not only have I walked onto the neighbors dogs on a rampage trying to get at my llamas (thank god for strong fences) they then turned on me and I had to make a weapon out of anything I could grab. I have found tom cats killing my cat's kittens inside my house after they tore off the screen in the window to get in. I have beaten raccoons in the head with an extra large flashlight with all of my 200+ lbs while they were trying desperately to get into a bird cage where I had a breeding pair of cockatiels - only to have them hiss and walk away, and I mean I hit them hard over and over. You won't win. The only thing to do is build a super strong fortress around your place and only let your animals out when you can defend them. At one time I had many large coops for show poultry as well as the llamas and some sheep. I could only afford to build super strong pens for some of them. It took a lot of management, I had to spend a lot of time shuttling animals from secure pens to pasture. It was a big pain - but after building the fortress I never lost another animal, I never had to poison or trap anything, I never had to shoot anything, I never had to confront another neighbor over what their dogs were doing on my property. My animals adapted to the routine and it made living in the country much more peaceful and not a war zone. At the time I didn't have a dog and I was amazed at my neighbors behavior. We would have neighborhood meetings to discuss problems and I would loudly announce that the best thing about the fourth of July was that hot dog weiners and antifreeze were both on sale and that I wasn't going to waste my bullets teaching their dogs manners. I never poisoned anything but you would think these people would realize the problems they were causing. Nothing worked. I eventually moved away and now years later I have once again moved out in the country. Everybody that visits asks when I am going to get livestock again - they miss the llamas and the sheep and the chickens. I don't plan on getting anything until I build a fortress around the whole place, strong enough to keep my stuff in and their stuff out. You need strong fences if you want to run guardian dogs - sometimes they mistake a jogger or someone walking the road as a threat and they slip through the fence to bite the intruder. You'll have another problem if your dog kills someone on a public street....See MoreDo you have trouble keeping up with your berry picking?
Comments (7)Well, I think that happens to everyone pretty much, unless they're retired or something. I know that this summer, I've neglected my garden a LOT compared to last year, because I've been doing major home improvement projects that I neglected for a couple of years to do my garden. You just take the good with the bad, and realize that NEXT YEAR will come fast. Six months ago, it was snowing here and I was just starting to sow peppers, etc., indoors under lights. It practically seems like yesterday. Now, those things are bearing, frost will be here soon, then the holidays, then it will be time to start again. The cycle of the seasons. Most species of berries don't self-sow all that much from what I've found. Black raspberries, mulberries, and shadberries can be bad. The rest not so much....See MoreHave You Ever Had to Decide Between Your Job or Your Sanity?
Comments (18)First of all I want to Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your advice & compassion. I have been very stressed over all of this and I could feel the genuine concern you have for our situation. Just to fill in a few blanks, we are both now 56 yo. DH has his BA & MBA & a certified Project Manager. He worked AND went to school at same time. I'm afraid I am lacking in the educational department. I have 2 AA degrees in nothing marketable, & got my RE License about a month(2006) before the market started crashing-but left because of my DM deteriorating health at the time. But, actually I was the main caregiver for both of my parents from 2001 until 2007 in our home until they both passed. Dad had cancer & Mom had Alzheimer/dementia. About 2 months after my DM died (Dec '07) I started babysitting(Feb'08) for my 2 granddaughters until just this past November '09, when I started working part-time again. Can't believe I did the formula, diapers, potty-training all over again, but my girls were a good distraction from my grief. My DS & DDIL paid when the could, what they could,--most of the time, not at all, but I just wanted to help them out & make sure the girls were safe with me. It was never about the income, it was all about what was best for my GDD's. Last summer I looked into a local university here & wanted to start school to get a Gerontoloy Certificate ( would take 18 months) & eventually work in Hospice & for seniors. (Heck, I am a senior now too according to Bob Evans--lol) I guess I am just destined to be a caregiver all my life. I started the application process & was told I would probably be eligible for Finacial Aid, but I think working Full Time has to be my priority now. I've been brainstorming to think of any additional means of bringing in some income--like maybe renting out the in-law quarters of our home. Selling off some jewelry--only about $200.00 worth, but every bit has to help. We're down to 1 car which we "juggle". Right now, everything just seems up in the air. We might know more by this week-end, when either my DH's project goes well or comes crashing down & him with it. I am preparing for the crash down, because in the past few weeks, anything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Like servers going down for hours, connection problems etc. One manager just walked off the job, because he said he couldn't take the pressure anymore. So, Thank you, thank you, thank you, all for taking the time just to let me talk/write about this & for listening. I know there are those here with far worse problems (health etc) & my problems are miniscule compared to theirs, but I thank you again for your suggestions & support. God Bless ~~ katclaws...See MoreHow do you keep your sanity?
Comments (27)Oh gosh Texas_Gem, the idea of four kids between 1 and 6, remodel or not, is enough to make me hyperventilate! here's another side. We have 3 kids (2, 4, and 15, the latter with us part time), and moved out for our remodel (kitchen and 2 bathrooms) and did not DIY. So yes, we saved ourselves the hell you are going through BUT we spent a lot of money (including a months' rent where nothing happened at the house--argh) but the worst part is that I wasn't around to supervise and a million mistakes were made (cranberry grout instead of gray is a funny one, incorrect supporting beams installed and needing to be ripped out and replaced, noted when giant cracks appeared on the wall less funny). Because we paid to be out of the house we had a clause in the contract that our price is reduced by 100/day (covering our rent) so that has made the work go faster (we had the kitchen and 2 baths and windows done in 4 months) but there's been a lot of sloppiness. When you are finally done and your house is exactly the way you want it, you will be so happy and it will all be a hazy memory of something terribly uncomfortable but what you got out of it was so amazing you forget all about the pain (kind of like childbirth!)....See Morecearbhaill (zone 6b Eastern Kentucky)
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