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If you were free

Posted by JeannineTX (My Page) on
Tue, Mar 15, 05 at 16:43

What would you do? I know a lot of you are caring for ill parents, and probably don't want to think of them being gone from your lifes. But unfortuneately that will happen, and then what?
We have discussed this at home, if our son were to be gone, I hate to say it, but I would be FREE to go where I want, when I want.
When you cannot leave someone, even with a caregiver overnight, for over 20 years, you have not had vacations, you don't go on trips, and you at times do wish you did not have to be doing this caregiving.
I am just curious, if I am the only one thinking, "when he is gone I can fly to my granddaughters anytime I want".


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: If you were free

Year's ago, there was this trip I wanted to go on with my husband to Niagra Falls, we were living in NY at the time. Mom wasn't as sick as she is now. It was a weekend trip, I think, but I hesitated. I really wanted to go. But we didn't. The last trip we went on was Niagra Falls, it was 20 some odd years ago, before mom was living with us..

I don't know what I would do if mom were to die.. I really don't think about it..


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RE: If you were free

Actually after MANY years we ARE doing something.. Bought a newer motorhome & we are off travelling for a few months..

Now we knew she wasn't going to last forever (almost 94 ) & it is part of the circle of life & we like to think that she's up in heaven smiling at our adventures now. She was QUITE the social butterfly and would approve..


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RE: If you were free

We'll be free for two whole weeks in August! Trippy, trippy! Wooohoo! Road trip! Mom will be in a gorgeous retirement/nursing home with all our friends visiting her, and we'll be gone!
Later? We're drooling over retirement properties in Mexico! ;-D


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RE: If you were free

It seems even when I was "free" there was always someone that was on my mind anyway. I was "caregiving" my mother (she lived alone but she didn't drive) but not so much that I couldn't take time away...but when you are away, they are still not far from your mind. My MIL now has signs of dementia, but still able to live by herself...we worry about her all the time. We have a RV which we bought with plans to travel, but most of the time we had my MIL with us because she loves to travel too. I didn't mind that...but sometimes it got on DH last nerve!


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RE: If you were free

Well, I wanted to go back and have a career again, earn a living. I planned to go back to university and retrain once my father had passed away. That was 5 years ago, and I've done precisely that.

I started learning computer skills, and last autumn I graduated from University of Teesside with an M.Sc in Computing.

I'm finding it extremely difficult to find work though - I'm up against discrimination. I have one very small part-time job, which doesn't give me enough to live on.

So, my next project is to go self-employed - I plan on starting up a business!!!


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RE: If you were free

Kewl Northerner, I hope ya make a killing.. You go for it!!


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RE: If you were free

I either want to take a long car trip or start working again. Maybe I'll have to get a job so I can afford the gas. But even my DH would be first to say, have fun, as I drive off for a month road trip, all alone! I'd love to have him come along, but his work is his escape, and getting him to take off a few days is a really big deal. Besides he doesn't like to stop at every roadside attraction, and he wants to get to his destination! I want a lazy long loop around the country, with no destination beyond a day or two.


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RE: If you were free

Frankly, I try not to think about it.

13 yrs. ago, it was my MIL. For 11 it's been my mother and now incorporated into that has been 9 yrs. caring for the needs of my dad. I keep thinking that as soon as everyone passes away, my time will be up and my life will be over! Since I'm an "eeyore" by temperment, that's just how I think.

I would love to be able to just do what *I* want to do. Maybe sleep a little later. Spend the day in my PJ's as I do my Bible Study. Work in the yard. NOT get in my car and go somewhere or pick someone up. I would love to spend a couple of hours reading a book...no interruptions. No phone calls to make to Dr's, appointments to keep, bills and creditors to address. As you can see, mine is mostly what I wouldn't have to do as opposed to what I would do. I would like to go to the beach with my friend and not have to worry about a single other person.

Several years ago, I found a refrig. magnet that says: "A Christ-centerd life is not a self-centered life". I think I have taken that out of the realm of balance.


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RE: If you were free

I would like to sail the Aegean Sea and the Adriatic Sea, "dropping the hook" (anchoring) wherever our hearts desired, visiting historic sites, and soaking up the sun in faraway locales.

The Caribbean would be nice, too... :)

But I would really like to be listening to the fizz of water along the hull and the snap of wind in the sails.


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