Yes it is a living hell. We do have paid help that comes in to stay with my father from 9-4 weekdays but after 4 and on weekends its me. I work full time and then go home to take care of dad, cook an evening meal, do laundry, clean kitchen, give him his evening meds and put him to bed. Plus I have horses, dogs, cats and a teenage daughter to take care of. It's like having a second job. Weekends, I'm stuck at home with Dad, maybe I can leave him for a few hours to do shopping, but that's it. I can't sleep in on weekends because I have to be down at Dad's house to get him up, give him his shower, meds, breakfast, etc. I hate being a caregiver. I hate changing his urine soaked diapers, I hate the constant smell of urine, I hate having to wash his urine soaked clothes and bedding. I hate giving him a shower and dressing him. Because he and my mother refused to do any advanced planning, a nursing home is out of the question. He has too much property to qualify for Medicaid and not enough money to do private pay for a nursing home. I have lived on property owned by my parents for the past 20+ years and have helped them all that time. They were supposed to deed the piece of land that I live on to me in return for the work that I did on the place but they didn't do it. Now its too late, Medicaid goes back 5 years. I was a fool to buy a mobile home and put it on that land without having a deed. I realize that now but I wanted to live in the country and I thought I could trust my parents. Hah! My mother is dead but I resent her and my dad. I have 2 siblings, a brother and sister, both younger. My brother lives with my dad but does very little to help with him. He will occasionally help put him to bed or get him up in the mornings but that is it. He has a girlfriend that he met on line and goes off on weekends to be with her. My sister lives 80 miles away and comes over a couple of times a month for a few hours and then leaves. She was supposed to come over for a long weekend a few weeks ago and look after dad while my daughter and I took a short vacation. What does she do? She takes him camping! So when I get back from my vacation I have a ton of dirty laundry and an exhausted 85 year old to deal with. The camping trip made his CHF worse and I have to deal with it. She went behind my back and got POA but she's never here to deal with anything. My dad owes taxes on the sale of his farm. I tried to work with his attorney and his accountant to get them paid. That was when sister got POA because I "was trying to take over". The taxes haven't been paid and interest and penalties are accruing. My sister does nothing but she's quick to criticize what I do. I am "mean" because I don't consult my early stage dementia father about every little thing. I make decisions and do what needs to be done. I don't have the time nor the energy to ask him if he wants to get rid of the soiled sofa. So yes, caregiving is a living hell. God help me, but when my father dies, I won't be sad. I'll be glad because I will have my life back and I will never have to see my b-word of a sister again.

Moni, a friend was just talking about her granddaughter being a nanny in FL to a dr.'s kids. She is a college student. If I remember right, she is paid $12-13/hour. She picks the kids up from school, takes them to activites, shopping (the little girl is allowed to pick whatever she wants to do/buy). She has a debit card to use (her own) that she pays for everything with, keeping the receipts, then is reimbursed. She gives them baths and puts them to bed, ect. Reads to/with them,I forget how old the kids are, but I think just early grade school. Overtime is expected. Over night is expected when they are out of town. She grocery shops, tho my friend has no idea why, as they NEVER eat at home or cook! She did say the the kids were very well behaved everywhere they are taken. To me, that is way too much responsibility for that amount of pay. Tami

cmarlin - if we keep them, I'll clean them, but no paint, I think they look pretty rich and even though old, I actually like them. I think I'll probably put in something like Silestone in a mocha color and it would look great. What will determine whether we keep them is if I can find a good match that will appropriately fit. kelpermaid, I think they painted in the house recently, though I'm not sure - going to try and find out. I know they've lived there for 6 years, so if they are the only people who smoked there in the last 25 years since it was built, at least 19yrs of it had no smokers - but not sure how bad the last 6 years have been. creekside - now you've TOTALLY confused me! In some cases, homes need to dry to the interior. Kilz will prevent that. So will some other products. A spot of Kilz here and there won't hurt anything. Rolling it on all the interior walls may promote mold growth. So, if you are going to use Kilz after cleaning with TSP or something like it, you can't paint everything?? I'm sure I'm not understanding something here - I'll try to read the info on the link you sent - maybe call the co. next week. Carol_from_NY -thanks, I think my cleaning list is growing by leaps and bounds. The way I'm going, I may have to put my mother on the top of the car and tell her to hold on to the luggage rack for the trip up I'm going to have so many supplies to take! Thanks for mentioning the steamer, I have one and wouldn't have remember to think about taking it. I've never heard about putting gum in for smells, that's a new one. I'll try ANYTHING to get the house to normal. Thanks for all you suggested. Well, at this time we are in limbo. Inspections turned up a few problems, two problems that could be major, one that definitely is and has to do with a foundation failure. I am trying to get the owners to agree to fix what's on the repair list I sent them - which isn't everything that needs to be repaired, I took on the cheaper and more easily aspects of it. Will know more next week whether the deal goes through or falls apart. Wish me luck!! Thanks again to all - everyone has been extremely helpful, and it's all appreciated! Oh, one more thing - my Mom was there during the inspection and told me they had a machine running to take the stink out and she thought it smelled better in there - was probably an ozone machine. My nose will decide (if we close on it, that is) THANKS!!!!

I did live-in health care back when I was in my 20's, I was a CNA and did not only do patient care but also light housekeeping, cooking and shopping. I worked for a private agency then.. the clients all paid out-of-pocket. Fast forward to a few years ago, my CNA liscense had expired but I took a job as a home health aide. Very, very different. I could not do any patient care.. only cleaning, laundry and shopping. During my training I was shocked to see that most of the aides did very little and spent most of the time visiting with the clients. One of my first days alone I cleaned a lady's refrigerator for over 2 hours. Things had been spilled in there I'm guessing several months earlier and although HHA's had been there 2 times every week.. no one cleaned it up. I also had clients that told me to go ahead and leave when I was done although my time wasn't up (so there is a lot of that going on). I only kept that job a couple weeks... it wasn't at all what I had expected. Good info Lisa!!