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Sandwiched between

Posted by TLM65 (My Page) on
Tue, Mar 19, 13 at 12:30

Hello everyone,
I just found this site and joined because it looks like a wealth of information that I am needing. I am 47 year old only child of an only child. My mother had a hemmoragic stroke at the end of last November and she has a lot of cognitive problems as well as not being able to walk because of it. She is in Skilled Nursing Facility getting 3 hours of therapy a day .My father who is 70 and in great heath is staying with her night and day. As my subject stated, I am feeling sandwiched between because my daughter is due to have her first baby in 8 weeks and my son is graduating from High School in June. Both are quite needy at this time and needing a lot of my attention. Throw in a husband that is feeling neglected thru all this and I am a wreck. Any advice any of you have would be greatly appreciated as I don't have anyone to talk to concerning this.
Thanks in advance,

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Sandwiched between

Well you are gonna be busy, huh?

Your father and mother will be fine. She is getting the care she needs and her husband is by her side. I hope she fully recovers soon.

You don't say if your daughter is living with you? Does she have the child's father to help? Is she healthy and ok? For I don't understand the inclusion here. If she is dependent on you for care and financial, then she needs to contact some state agencies for assistance. School, medical, food, etc. Whatever she can get.

As for you son graduating in June - GREAT! Are you concerned about something here?

How are they " both " needy of you? Babies are born and kids graduate. Perhaps have certain days that you can help others on. Can your son help with some of the tasks for his grandparents? As long as your daughter is healthy, why does she need your attention?

You need to speak to everyone and let them know you can't do what THEY won't do for themselves. You are allowed to have a life, too. Talk to your husband. Include him in the helping of the son, or the daughter while you tend to some things for your parents.

But please don't get caught in the trap of doing too much or they just might begin to expect it from you and you may just end up getting sick from exhaustion. Will they care for you, then? While you are in the hospital? Whatever would they do? They will find a way, so let them. There's an old saying " Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for ever " Teach them. :) They will thank you for this.

Hope it all gets better for you. You're a giver. You need to take every now and then.

RE: Sandwiched between

Thank you worriedone for your reply. Some things I didn't stated in my original post. My daughter was born with 3 heart defects so she is a high risk pregnacy. Her husband is in his senior year of college so she is still on my insurance. He is very involved in her and the baby's life. So they will be having the baby this May and he graduates the following May. She is so full of questions that many of them I just tell her that she needs to talk tdo her doctor. My son's graduating is that there is a lot of planning to for celebrations and making arrangements for many out of town quests rom my husband and father's sides of the family. And I have MS so some daily activities are difficult for me to do. That's where my son and husband help out the most.

RE: Sandwiched between

Hi TLM65. I'm sorry for your troubles. I'm afraid I don't have much advice to offer, just moral support. Just put one foot in front of the other, you can only do what you can do. Worriedone is right, don't exhaust yourself. It is easy to become consumed by this stuff. I know I have lost plenty of sleep just worrying about things. Try to make your caregiving a part of your life, not your whole life. It sounds like there are some wonderful things happening right now, a new grandbaby, son graduating, please find a way to enjoy those things. I wish you the best of luck.

RE: Sandwiched between

Thank you tripletmom83 for your moral support. I'm really focusing on those great things that are happening and doing my Tuesday and Thursday bingo games at the Skilled Nursing Center with my Mother. Now that I have the schedule set up, it is getting better.

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