You say your FIL and MIL are living alone? with just daytime help? Not good. Especially if she's starting to have physical problems. Let me just tell you a couple of stories--not to terrify you, but to open your eyes. An older couple my husband knew were living alone like that. One day he visited, and found the woman totally black and blue--all bruised up from head to toe. She'd promised to keep her husband home--then one night, she woke in the middle of the night, to find her husband battering her with something heavy (I forget what)--he thought she was an intruder--she was badly injured and, of course, had to put him in a home at that point. It's not unusual for Alzheimer's patients to think their loved ones were strangers (and evil ones at that). Another couple I know--he has Azheimers, and one day she had a major stroke. Thank goodness he was able to call for help--but he didn't do it right away, and she's in really bad shape--will be months in a rehab facility, if not longer. Another Azheimer's couple? The husband was injured. The wife called her daughter's work (thank goodness, again)--because she 'couldn't remember the number for 9-11'. What would MIL do if FIL left the house in the middle of the night? Would she be able to follow him and get him home? What if she had a medical problem? Are you certain he'd be able to get her help? and you really cannot predict how the disease will progress. He could be one person today, and someone totally different tomorrow. Please, don't allow your parents to be alone at this point in time. If you can't convince them to move to an assisted living facility, then you need to start having younger family members stay with them. Or another alternative that might work well for you--how about hiring one of the ladies (usually from one of the islands) to come in and live with them. You can go through an agency, so that they're checked out, they're very reasonable. Usually they can stay for about 6 months on their work visa, then they often have a friend or relative who can come and take over until they're eligible to return.

So the saga continues...today DH received an email from BM. It began Dear Pastor...so it was either meant for her pastor and she sent to DH by mistake, or she meant for it to go to DH by "accident" to scare us. Anyway she is now accusing ME of hitting SS 8, due to "the excesive drinking they do on the weekends." BM was finally served with court papers regarding our request for primary placement of the boys on Friday. This email to her "Pastor" asks for him to pray for them, and that the court will have "wisdom." I agree, I hope he does pray for the court to have wisdom. I can't believe she is now conveniently accusing me of also hitting the kids, one day after being served. A background, DH and BM were divorced 5 years ago because she accused his father of molesting the oldest boy. This was investigated, found false, and DH and BM divorced. Is it possible that she simply does not want them at all involved with their dad and his entire family??? We had to drop the boys off at her house about an hour ago and are just sick that they have to go back there. I feel like we are sending them straight to hell. They told us again today that BM is "always asking them" what we do to them. And how much we drink, which is a beer or glass of wine on the weekends. We have NEVER had more than two drinks in front of the boys and I HATE that we are being made to feel guilty for this. (She doesn't touch alcohol or have a TV, or eat anything that is not organic- she does read the bible and listen to the Christian radio station constantly, creating the facade that she is perfect while it couldn't be further from the truth.) We have only been married six months and I love DH and the kids dearly, but I just want to be newlyweds. DH feels so bad that I am now a victim of BM's lies, and told me today that he will find a way to make this all up to me. He better!!! :) Why won't she just leave us and the kids alone?!?!? We never wanted to go as far as trying to get primary placement of the kids, but DH and I talked about it at length (I was initially hesitant as this was not what I signed up for when we got married). But as time goes on, I truely believe the happiness and well being of the boys depends on them getting out of there and being allowed to be kids. I'm so nervous for the next few months...

Scott, I harvested the first spear of asparagus today. I'm pretty sure we've never had any in February before. I also bought 4 tomato plants at the Walmart across the river from me in Gainesville. My own tomatoes and peppers are just sprouting now, but having 4 bigger plants to obsess over will keep me calm. Oklahoma gardening is beyond challenging, but every now and then we have a really great fruit year when the last cold weather is extra early and nothing freezes and then it is so worth all the other years when our fruit freezes year after year. The last year we had like that, we harvested just under 400 lbs. of fruit from a total of 5 trees (3 plum, 2 peach) and I canned and froze fruit like there was no tomorrow.

I agree with what you say, Sylvia. My father has always tried to use "the will" as to manipulate his children to do whatever it is he wants. It may work with his 2nd family, but never has with me or my sisters. And he is definitely the type to do one last "gotcha" He can do whatever he likes with his estate, it doesn't matter to me. My mother, God rest her soul, taught us to work hard and make our own financial security and it's a lesson we've taken to heart. My father will use anyone he can, anything to avoid spending his own money. Once he even made up "fake charity business cards" to scam local garden centers into giving him free plants and garden supplies. Never mind that we told him passing yourself off as a charity is illegal, he didn't care, it's all about getting something for nothing. Now he has somehow convinced a friend to be his caretaker, I suspect he downplayed how much help he really needs to get the poor man to do it, and the friend is in his 70's, not a young man. I am sure the day is coming when this friend will call me up and say "I can't do this, I need help" When that day comes I will simply tell him to let Dad know the time has come to pay for a caregiver. Unless he is forced into it, he will never do it and continue to use people.