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Verbally abusive dying aunt

Posted by suram (My Page) on
Fri, Mar 13, 09 at 2:58

4 years ago I moved my aunt in to live with me because she had"only 6 months to live" I spoke to her doctor and he's the one that said so. After 5 months of chemo and her tumors shrunk, her prognosis improved and I invited her to move out because she was incredibly self sufficient and capable. I call her every day, and initially made sure she got to go somewhere fun once a week. I usually paid her way and we did something she wanted to do. I quit doing that after a few months because EVERY where we went she was verbally abusive to someone at some point of the day.Now, her health is declining and she is house bound and can no longer drive. For the last few months I have been taking her everywhere she needs to go and Hospice is involved a few times a week in her home.I still take her and her huge oxygen tanks to the store once a week (she initially had me going to the store every other day) I call her every day to check on her. Her verbal abuse is much worse-she yells at the nurse and the social worker and everyone.She throws things around the house. I can't stand being with her and get physically ill when I have to go to her house. I don't think I should have to deal with this.I am the only family here, but I am ready to bail out of the picture and let happen what may. Any suggestions?


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Verbally abusive dying aunt

Maybe its fear?, Sometimes fear makes grown people do strange things.

I would if she's on meds talk to someone in that department. Hope all goes well.


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RE: Verbally abusive dying aunt

Hard to say; could be the onset or the full blowing of Pick's Disease - disorder that causes the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain, which control speech and personality, to slowly atrophy. Classified as a "frontotemporal dementia".

Rudeness or impatience, leading to aggression is one of the list of symptoms.



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RE: Verbally abusive dying aunt

Could be a bunch of things. Meds-- illness--being alone--dementia--BUT, unless you have authority from her to help with the Dr, medicare etc, you cannot do anything. HEPA laws are quite strick. She can get smaller oxygen tanks to carry instead of the large ones, but your medical center should be able to help. If hospise is involved, talk to them and see if they will help you get the proper papers signed. Sorry to say, it sounds like she needs to be in a nursing home. The Dr. does not to be much help either, so you might get some help from the Council on Aging, or look under Senior Cizizens in the phone book or in the paper and just start asking questions.
Good luck


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RE: Verbally abusive dying aunt

I would never let anyone abuse me. I would tell her you will not come over again if she continues to mistreat you and follow through with it. I would do some research through the state agency for the aging or social services, tell them you can't handle it anymore and that she needs help and that you are not going over there again. You have already done more than most would do.


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RE: Verbally abusive dying aunt123

I would never let anyone abuse me. I would tell her you will not come over again if she continues to mistreat you and follow through with it. I would do some research through the state agency for the aging or social services, tell them you can't handle it anymore and that she needs help and that you are not going over there again. You have already done more than most would do.


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RE: Verbally abusive dying auntabc

Sorry about the double post had trouble getting the post to go through or so I thought.


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