Alzheimer's is the cruelest thing ever...having a hard time
MonicaM43
11 years ago
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marie_ndcal
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agomaifleur01
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
A hard thing
Comments (4)Carla, this is always a hard and sad task. It seems so recent that I went through this myself. My heart go's out for you. When you are there, you will pick up strength, but you will still slow down as the items you will come in contact with start flooding your memories, but you have to do that, to say your last goodbye. Your Aunt is having her daughter in law and niece, close family, do this and I am sure she would be happy knowing you are doing your best. I was an only child and dad gone a long time ago, but was in England when my mum passed away three years ago. Stayed for six weeks to sell her home and deal with all her effects. Was a very difficult time. Was awful. I did not sell anything - gave all away - and garbaged what I could not. (that was the hard part). I also shipped as much as possible back to Canada, and I am sooo glad about that.!!! My thoughts are with you and with your dear daughter re her kidney stones. Unusual, I would say for a young girl, You never did say, as far as I know, how they are going to treat this. Whatever is recommended, I am sure it will work out fine for her. My prayers and best wishes are with you over these difficult times. I would say YES!! you are ready for a whole new year of stress free, happiness and relaxation. YOU GO GIRL!!! Roll on 2008. Love Pauline...See MoreAlzheimer's is SO difficult!!
Comments (13)I agree that sometimes moving to an AD Facility is a symptom of a downturn and not the cause. IMO, though, it can also be a cause. Many people move to an AD facility when theyÂre already experiencing a downturn, and sometimes major change in their lives can cause a downturn. ThereÂs no way to know for sure. My dad landed in the ICU for a couple of weeks, transitioned to a full-blown nursing home for a couple of months, then moved into an assisted living facility. He experienced a major downturn. Any or all of these things could have contributed. But I do know this: he felt very angry and betrayed by having to give up his old life, his car, his dog and his freedom. He resented the transition from independent adult to child. This kind of stress can, and often does, cause a decline in AlzheimerÂs patients. When my father moves to the dementia ward, he will lose his last bit of freedom, which is so very important to him. I anticipate another decline. But heÂs in a decline right now, and a lot of the fight has gone out of him lately. The move may not impact him much. I hear yÂall about the whole "my grandmother had AlzheimerÂs" thing. We always think of our grandparents as elderly, but can remember our parents as the young, confident rulers of our universe they once were. A spouseÂs illness is a whole other level entirely. ThereÂs also an enormous difference between being a full-time caregiver, a part-time caregiver like I am, and a visitor (which is what most people luckily are). Although most of my friends have been extremely supportive and sympathetic, they cannot truly empathize. Most people left the room with their grandparent needed a fresh diaper and turn pale at the mere mention of a colostomy bag. Emotional baggage aside, itÂs very different being responsible for your loved one. WeÂre the ones who make medical and legal decisions on their behalf, get phone calls from the hospital, and manage their finances. ThatÂs why IÂm so deeply appreciative of the people on this forum. YÂall donÂt just say you understand, you really, truly get it....See Moreis this dementia or alzheimer's???
Comments (11)Yeah, there's something goin' on. As I've understood it, the only way a firm diagnosis of Alzhiemer's can be made is with necropsy... only then can the heavy placques in the brain be discerned. But I could be misremembering. Mum suffered a stroke in '04 and it was in the right parietal lobe of her brain; affecting short term memory and critical decison making. As it was explained to me, she is the perfect example of LEAPING before LOOKING. She often failed to THINK about a course of action. Now, her dementia has progressed to a point where she no longer really attempts a lot of things on her own. She never knows what day it is. She doesn't know what year it is. But she knows her birthdate, can name her (now deceased) siblings and all her immediate family. She can't always name my brother... and is often confused about who, exactly, he is... confuses him with my deceased father or my husband frequently. She can't name the cats in the house or the dog, but she identifies them by their individual physical characteristics. She has no clue about money any more, either! She reacts the same way at the doctor's office, too. You need to establish medical and legal POA, asap. And you need to esptablish a routine for her. You do the same things at the same time everyday and you ask questions that require her to THINK and guide her to the result you want to see. For instance: every morning I go down to Mum's room, turn on the lights and open the draperies. I wake her up with, "Good morning! it's time to get up". Then I sit in the chair and allow her to "come to". Next, I direct her to the written instructions for unhooking her urostomy from the night collection jug. I prompt her and she usually does it flawlessly. Then I clean and disinfect it. Then we make her bed together, I lay out her clothes for her, and prompt her to wash her hands, face, and fix her hair. And get dressed. I leave her alone to do those things. If I don't hear her coming to the stairs in 20 minutes I go check. Then she has breakfast. We do it the same way, every day. Drives me NUTS, but it works for her and I know the military regimen helps keep her safe. I put the kibosh on the nastiness early. SORRY! I won't live that way... Zoloft has spared me the commission of a felony, lol. Speak to her doctor about depression... very common in the elderly. Mum was 84 lbs. when she came to live with me... but, "Me? DEPRESSED? certainly not! I've never been depressed in my life!". yeah, RIGHT (she weighs 125-130 now). :)...See MoreTell me your thoughts on: When a Parent KNOWS they have Alzheimer
Comments (26)With the "privacy laws" lots has changed! And, lets not forget the ungrateful idiots that have wiped out their parents savings with POA's. That is what has caused so many changes. I am getting through all this and am very lucky my dad can still sign. Most of the money is in his name so I can get it out to pay mom's nursing home bills, but it has been a challenge! I now have it all worked out so should not have too many more hassles. Our investment guy told me today that I am not the only one complaining about the mountain of paperwork that needs to be done to take care of parents! LOL! Some thing our attorney adviced me to do also was to change the primary benificiary on my dad's IRA's. That way if, heaven forbid, some thing happens to him the remainder of the money will not go to the nursing home for my mom's care. Makes sense and that way I will have a few pennies to take care of my brother and his special wants. Oh, that is some thing else, we also have it set up in the will that when my parents are gone my brothers share will go in to a trust for him, therefore keeping it out of the hands of the nursing home....See MoreMonicaM43
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agomoonie_57 (8 NC)
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
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