Don't tell her you are going to stop bringing her cigarettes, just do it. When she starts to complain, don't argue, just tell her "next time". There is a good chance that when "next time" comes, she won't even remember what you said. There will always be a next time.

Can she have candy? If so, hand it to her with a smile and hope for the best. Her favorite magazine?? Just so you can hand her something when you need to.

Tell the NH that you will cooperate in seeing that she doesn't get cigarettes.

The chance of fire in a nursing home is something that good ones simply will not take. If she gets too hard to handle, I am sure she will get medicated until the addiction gets easier to work with.

Good luck! It might take a while, but she will settle down to it.

If she has to go to a hospital for any reason then it's their responsibility to find one that will take her. My husband was a roamer and had trouble at the first home he went to. The only way they could get rid of him after accepting him was to place him in the hospital, then they did not have to accept him back. The hospital called other homes who sent someone to evaluate him and seeing the restraints no one wanted him. I asked the social worker what they were going to do, they said he just stays in the hospital. You might tell her doctor about the problem, he may be able to admit her for an evaluation, then they may place her.

Just wanted to put in my two cents' worth... The nursing home near me takes smokers, but there's only one other smoker. They told us up front that they cannot take Mom outdoors to smoke every time she asks. They intend to get her outdoors a couple times in the morn and a couple times in the aft. She's been there since August and is now down to 2-4 ciggies a day. I find her sitting out at the nurses' station waiting to find a willing nurse/aid/helping hand to take her out. My husband calls it fishing...They tell her they don't have time, but maybe in a little while... There's also a gal that can maneuver her wheelchair over by the window where they hand out the dinners...I hear her begging Coffee!!! Coffee!!!! She's fishing too.
There are aids to fill this need to get out and smoke, but they are busy girls, so I understand that Mom has to wait even tho she doesn't like to. I see that she isn't quite as desperate...doesn't get quite as upset as she used to. But whenever I go there, she casually mentions that we should go out for a coke...but I know she really means for a smoke... Makes me feel real good about why I am needed!

They keep her cigs and lighter in a desk drawer; they have not allowed her to keep them with her. This just killed her at first but she's used to it now.

Well, we finally found a decent place for MIL, and it wasn't even a NH, it was a nice assisted living with a locked dementia unit. We never even asked about smoking, it was the only place available that could meet her care needs and had an opening.

They say it's a smoke free place, but they have a smoking area out by the loading dock, for staff only, I guess. Oh well. At least MIL has a place to live. I'm not sure how much longer she'll even be able to remember that she smokes.

I'm glad to hear back from you, and that you found a good facility. Check with the staff about putting her on nicotine patches. Smoking is an addiction, both chemical and behavioral, and stopping can be tough. Maybe the patch will help her?

But you've done a good job of taking care of her, and I hope that things continue to work out for you.

Things to Consider when Finding a Nursing Home.

When it comes time to find a nursing home for parents or other loved ones, here are a few concerns keep to mind:
Quality Equipment and Aid : Private homes simply don't have the types of medical equipment and supplies needed to help seniors stay healthy. Many nursing homes are almost as advanced as hospitals in their ability to provide sophisticated care for patients on a 24-hour basis.
Finding a nursing home can be a difficult endeavor while there are many options out there, it is a difficult decision to make. Being informed can help, one such resource for information is a free nursing home finder that searches out homes in your area and sorts them according to your loved ones income and needs. To try this free resource for yourself simply visit this link..
Find a Home for Mom.
 Long-Term Care you can trust : Due to modern medicine, seniors now live longer than ever. While we're thankful for this, longer life-spans often come with longer periods of late-life illness and disability. Caring for a senior relative at home is often a long-term commitment of many years, sometimes requiring intensive care.
 Around the clock Monitoring and Emergency Care: Nursing homes are equipped to deal with emergencies and other sudden incidents. Internal call systems allow residents to contact staff at any time should something arise. These systems are monitored 24 hours, and experienced staff is always on hand to respond.
 Lessen the emotional toll on the family: When an elderly relative being cared for at home experiences suffering, a sudden emergency, or a decline in health, family members are liable to feel guilt and to wonder if they could have done more. Putting the elderly relative in the hands of professionals makes this issue nonexistent.
 Carry on living you life while feeling secure about theirs: While we want to help our relatives as much as possible, we also must think of ourselves, our spouses, and our children. Caring for an elderly relative at home can be a time-consuming process for everyone involved, which may take time and energy away from careers, school, hobbies, family bonding, travel, and other important personal matters. If our elderly relative can be just as happy and healthy, if not more so, in a home, why not take the burden off of ourselves?
Emotionally it can be devastating to have to have a loved one put into a home for their own good, there is a burden put upon a caregiver that some may not understand. The split between what is right for them and what makes them happy is not an easy divide to cross, let us help by showing you that there is a choice. Please visit...
Find a Home for Mom.
 A Chance for friends again : Socially, seniors need more than just family. At nursing homes, seniors are out in the world interacting with a variety of people. Other residents provide a chance to form new friendships with others in the same age group. Meanwhile, strong, personal relationships may also be developed with staff members.
ÂThings to do.. : Nursing homes routinely provide the types of activities and, in some cases, outings that are specifically tailored to seniors, and which may not be available in private homes. Nursing homes usually provide movies, reading material, games, activities, and other types of events. In addition, they often have private gardens where residents can go for strolls, get fresh air, and even do some gardening.
Some things are better off not left to chance, you have options.. come see... Find a Home for Mom

I think when she is admitted she needs a doctor to treat her for the withdrawal from the cigarettes. When my sis was in the hospital they treated her for it. Care home usually have doctors that come in to see the patients rather than being taken to see one.

The doctor put my Daddy on a med that he took a pill once a day and smoked all he wanted to. Dr. warned Mama that the first three weeks Daddy would be extra grouchy and smoke extra because of the sub-conscience thought that we were Taking away his cigarettes, but slowly the smoking cravings would subside.

The medicine attached itself to the chemicals in smoke and then caused the area of the brain that each chemical effected to not crave it anymore.

It took nine months when one day I explained I wasn't pushing, but how was he doing on his cigarettes? (It was the first time anyone had asked him through the process.) With tears in his eyes he explained that he woke up that morning and realized it had been three days since he had a single craving, so he threw 3/4 of a pack away. He never had a craving again in the last 13 years of his life, even when his brothers came to visit and they smoked around him. There was no jitters, no shaking, no grouchiness (after the first 3 weeks), no weight gain, ... nothing. I'm not sure I can list his med here, but if you are desperate email me through the site and I'll let you know its name.

Years later, a pt. of mine had to go into a NH. His Dr. prescribed two meds. One patch to ease the cravings and a pill to keep him calm. Once those measures were in place the really good NH would accept him, because the issue was being controlled. He "fished" for about three months, then even that stopped. At one point they threatened to put him in the really awful NH until he got his attitude better under control, but threaten was all they had to do.

If you have to you might think about vigilantly keeping MIL in a not so good place until they get the medicines regulated, then work to switch her over.

good luck.

problem is there is pretty good science that denying nicotine to person with a psychological disorder is a death sentence-you are obviously not a scientist or science student

Fraelaine, this is a thread from 6 years ago. And your comment isn't relevant - you need to tell it to the nursing homes that are not permitting smoking for safety reasons.

I think people who come along and make absurd comments like this are called Trolls. ???

Have you ever considered those electronic cigarettes? I believe they call it vaping. It will satisfy her craving for nicotine and I would think something like that will be allowed as it produces no cigarette smoke.