Things to Consider when Finding a Nursing Home. When it comes time to find a nursing home for parents or other loved ones, here are a few concerns keep to mind: Quality Equipment and Aid : Private homes simply don't have the types of medical equipment and supplies needed to help seniors stay healthy. Many nursing homes are almost as advanced as hospitals in their ability to provide sophisticated care for patients on a 24-hour basis. Finding a nursing home can be a difficult endeavor while there are many options out there, it is a difficult decision to make. Being informed can help, one such resource for information is a free nursing home finder that searches out homes in your area and sorts them according to your loved ones income and needs. To try this free resource for yourself simply visit this link.. Find a Home for Mom. Â Long-Term Care you can trust : Due to modern medicine, seniors now live longer than ever. While we're thankful for this, longer life-spans often come with longer periods of late-life illness and disability. Caring for a senior relative at home is often a long-term commitment of many years, sometimes requiring intensive care. Â Around the clock Monitoring and Emergency Care: Nursing homes are equipped to deal with emergencies and other sudden incidents. Internal call systems allow residents to contact staff at any time should something arise. These systems are monitored 24 hours, and experienced staff is always on hand to respond. Â Lessen the emotional toll on the family: When an elderly relative being cared for at home experiences suffering, a sudden emergency, or a decline in health, family members are liable to feel guilt and to wonder if they could have done more. Putting the elderly relative in the hands of professionals makes this issue nonexistent. Â Carry on living you life while feeling secure about theirs: While we want to help our relatives as much as possible, we also must think of ourselves, our spouses, and our children. Caring for an elderly relative at home can be a time-consuming process for everyone involved, which may take time and energy away from careers, school, hobbies, family bonding, travel, and other important personal matters. If our elderly relative can be just as happy and healthy, if not more so, in a home, why not take the burden off of ourselves? Emotionally it can be devastating to have to have a loved one put into a home for their own good, there is a burden put upon a caregiver that some may not understand. The split between what is right for them and what makes them happy is not an easy divide to cross, let us help by showing you that there is a choice. Please visit... Find a Home for Mom. Â A Chance for friends again : Socially, seniors need more than just family. At nursing homes, seniors are out in the world interacting with a variety of people. Other residents provide a chance to form new friendships with others in the same age group. Meanwhile, strong, personal relationships may also be developed with staff members. ÂThings to do.. : Nursing homes routinely provide the types of activities and, in some cases, outings that are specifically tailored to seniors, and which may not be available in private homes. Nursing homes usually provide movies, reading material, games, activities, and other types of events. In addition, they often have private gardens where residents can go for strolls, get fresh air, and even do some gardening. Some things are better off not left to chance, you have options.. come see... Find a Home for Mom

Not a frequent poster but I've certainly enjoyed following your home posts Bodica. You are in an intense phase of grief. "Did I inconvenience.." that is blaming the victim; don't do it. Remember that even though it was not installed, your mother knew that you were advocating for her right up to the end. Institutions can cause so much pain. I don't have experience with nursing homes yet, but the pain the hospital caused me and my daughter at her birth and in the following days took years for me to recover from. I wish I had spoken to a counselor or therapist bc it was very hard on my husband and I. What eventually healed me was the natural process of how dendrons/memories change in the brain (softens the memory; it's been documented), and also looking at how happy/free from hurt my daughter is now. Your mother is free from the pain now, I hope that is a comfort to you. Unfortunately many of us have gone through these nightmare experiences of intense pain; loss of loved ones, injustice. Some say call a lawyer, in certain cases I might, but also I just try to be more loving to the ones I've got left. That is what heals me and honors those who are gone. Best of luck, and fwiw, I'm sure this thread will help countless others. I'd never given a washlet a second thought before, but now it's high on my list for older loved ones and someday me.

Carol, DF would not be able to sell the farm without DM's consent, and so that would not happen secretly. He has only a small portion of what was the original estate from 1870, as it got divided a couple of times, but he lives on the original homestead and is listed in the Texas historical registry for continuous one family ownership for more than 100 years. My brother in Texas wants to continue the ownership, and his son will probably want to take care of it after that. I tried to call Mother yesterday, and DF answered the phone, which was a bit of a surprise. He said he was doing fine (which he isn't) and that Mother had gone to town to pick something up and had left him in the house alone (also not true). He then told me that someone had stolen his pickup and that it was probably in Mexico by now. That was pretty much the extent of our conversation, and then he told me that he would have DM call me when she got back. She did call me a few minutes later while Kevin and I were on the phone with our sister, and DM told us that she had never left the house but was merely in a different bedroom - where I guess she had gone to get away from DF. He seems to be driving her crazy, and she has very little patience for him. She told me that she threatened to leave him if he didn't stop telling her the same wild stories over and over, and so I guess he has the idea that she might leave at any moment. According to DS, someone is with him 24 hours, as he cannot be left alone for any stretch of time. I'm sure that my brother and his wife are doing everything they can to speed up his entrance to the nursing home, which is where everyone agrees that he needs to be - that is, everyone except DF. He would try to drive his pickup if my brother had not taken it away, even though he is almost completely blind. My mother gets tired of hearing him ask to be taken home and keeps trying to convince him that he is already at home. DB and his wife will be moving back into their own house in a couple of weeks, and this will make it more difficult for DM. At this point, I am just trusting my brother to make the right decisions, as I am not in a position to move back to Texas to help with the care. Speaking of sheriffs - DF threatened to call his local sheriff to have him come and pick him up and take him home unless DM takes him - he thinks he is being held hostage at times. Linda, what do you mean by "calling hospice"? I'm not sure what that is. It's nice that your son visited you from Sweden, but I think you are a long way from having to worry about death. It's very nice that you visit nursing homes yourself - I haven't been since my grandmother died. We gave our mother a big 80th birthday party and also a big 60th wedding anniversary party, and that was the last good family reunion we had, I think, except for maybe my nephew's wedding, and I can't remember when that was. I'm trying to figure out if and/or when we should plan another trip to see our family. We were there last December, less than four months ago; DF's birthday is in June, and he will be 89. Lars

Pal: do you remember giving this to me, it's been quite a number of years ago. Sis:I kind of remember~can't believe you still have it. Pal:Yes, still have it, and it's been hanging in different places over the last 10 years. I was thinking it would look great in that space you want me to do for you. What do you think? I still like it, but it's about time I got something different. You know how I hang on to things. Would you feel offended? Sis:just because *I* gave it to you doesn't mean you have to keep it forever and be buried with it like king Tut. I've been wondering if you were ever going to take it down and get something new. Yes, I like it, and think it would be a great addition in the space, as well as a wonderful memory of you. Let's do it. Just my 2 cents, but when someone gives you something it isn't as though there's a license 'to be kept forever' stamped across it. I've gone thru the same thing with things, and while I feel a sadness, life goes on. An item doesn't necessarily have to 'wear out' to let go of it.