I'll try my best based on our experience. Our build was May through November:
Before the digging (in May) we sat down with the millwork people to pick out cabinets, trim, doors and the stain colors (This was in April - not sure why this was necessary as we had to meet with them again in July and again in late August to finalize everything and I found out later that my countertop didn't even get ordered until September - I could have changed it up until then) I also met with the flooring people at this time and started looking at samples (also silly because I ended up dropping them and picking out new stuff with a new vendor in late June/early July (the important thing with flooring, I think, is to line up your installers so you are on their schedule when you need them. If you order "in stock" items you can generally get it within a few weeks)
Shingles and windows first and I think fascia and soffit too (this was shortly after they had the framing up)
Shortly after that, siding. [Be ready with these choices. I found that they came up quickly and, of course, once chosen cannot be changed]
In June we met with the lighting people and ordered lights. Another process that can vary greatly. We ended up buying ceiling fans and different light fixtures at Home Depot while the electrians were here. They said, "we're here, we'll install whatever you bring us." In our experience, we could have changed our light choices up until the very last minute.
We picked out plumbing choices in late July / early August.
[I wish I would have kept better track of the finishes I used on both plumbing and lighting - I mixed too many finishes, in part because I thought I would "remember" what I picked in each bathroom and I didn't remember correctly. As a result my lights and plumbing fixtures don't match in my guest bath]
As mentioned, we picked the flooring in July/early August.
Appliance choices were due by September (They needed this as they started to build the kitchen cabinets)
About this time, we were also picking out the garage door, front door, and porch columns.
Once your drywall goes up, you need to seriously think about paint choices. Of course, you'll want to have your flooring finalized to choose the paint.
Towards the end, you'll also need the little things like outlet covers, vent covers, door knobs.

It's really easy to get very uptight about choices. I wish I would have had more consistency throughout the house - like all oil rubbed bronze fixtures - plumbing and lights. Instead, I have a big mix. It does not look bad but I notice it.
On the plus side, if you pick things you love, everywhere you look in the house you will see something you love and that's all that matters.

Our GC gave us a nice list of things we needed to choose and when. It's by no means all inclusive, but it has kept me on task and hits the big items. I'll summarize here

At contract signing or as soon as possible after
1. Stone selection (exterior)
2. Fireplace selection
3. Window selection and color
4. Case stone selection (if needed)
5. Siding selection
6. Whirlpool tub & color (if needed)
7. Roofing selection

During framing
1. Check plumbing fixtures and finalize
2. Cabinet design
3. Tile - corian, granite, carpet, formica, vinyl
4. Stereo & surround sound (if wanted)
5. Finalize trim selections
6. Appliances

When drywaller starts
1. Inside stain and paint colors
2. Outside color
3. Electrical fixtures
4. Wood floor stain and any design or pattern

We had a lot of this done before we started because we wanted an accurate bid, but it is nice to know exactly when I have to bite the bullet and say "ok, go" on each of these items. Best of luck!

Thanks. This helps give me some a better since of priority.

I need time to make a decision also. My builder needs my decisions by yesterday. Don't get me started why I am never told until the day that something needs picked, since the builder talks to my dh at least once a day about goofy stuff.

I changed strategy after being bogged down in indecision on kitchen cabinets. I make sure before giving my go ahead to ask myself "does this fit my original vision". I also try to have a clear cut idea of what I want even if I don't know exactly. For example I knew we were going to do tile in our great room. I wanted the biggest size they had, smallest grout width and a travertine look. I picked within minutes (to my dh's amazement) unglazed porcelain tile 18x18 creamy limestone color.

When we started I asked our builder to make sure to let me know when things need to be picked so I had time. He assured me he would. LOL, I told him we have different perspectives on ample time.

Good Luck

I wanted something like this, but my builder is the type who won't discuss anything until he's just about to start on it (his only fault).

My only advice would be, DO NOT wait to order your doors, especially the exterior doors. Treat them like the windows, and order them right after you start the house. I got Simpson wood doors for all my doors that are under porch roofs (fiberglass for two back doors that are exposed). A sadly misinformed door salesman told me it would take two weeks to get them. It was closer to nine weeks, and it held up the siding and the whole drying-in of the house. Several people told me afterward that doors are taking forever to get right now. Things that used to take two weeks are now taking eight to nine. It was almost the same amount of time for the interior doors (solid wood, five panel, from a different manufacturer).

The doors were our only big hold-up and actually delayed progress on the house for several weeks.

Here is a link that might be useful: Owl's home blog