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abekker_gw

how do you handle regrets?

abekker
9 years ago

We are getting our roof tomorrow. So far I already have a few regrets. One was with window sizes and placement. My second regret is with the way my architect insisted on making the roof. Now that it's up I see my concern was right about the middle looking too cramped in.

Comments (42)

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    I should have done something like this with my roof

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Similar

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Similar

    {{!gwi}}

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Similar

    {{!gwi}}

  • mrspete
    9 years ago

    At this stage, I'd say you ask yourself whether this is something that'll bother you a little . . . or a lot. And if it's something that's genuinely NOT acceptable and will "ruin the house" for you, then you make the change -- even if it's expensive.

    My opinion: If you were talking about the powder room being smaller /more crowded than you'd anticipated, I'd say live with it. But you're talking about the ROOF, a major item that provides "the look" of the house. I think it's too small, and I would have them change it. Yes, it'll be expensive -- but your pictures look nothing like your inspiration pictures.

  • shiltsy
    9 years ago

    Personally, I like your roof far more than the Other pics you posted... I think the windows and mid-section look great as well!

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Mrs Pete i think it will bother me for now, eventually i will get over it, but if i through money at it to reframe the whole roof that will bother me even more. Unfortunately i dont think redoing it is an option. The roof will go up today. Thank you Shiltsy, I was hoping to hear someone say that :(
    I still feel like I should have insisted on the other one when I had this discussion with my architect. Ahhh...noone to blame, but myself. The architect's argument was the more peaks the better and trying to emphasize the center. How many more disappointments will come my way I wonder? For those who are building, did you redo all the things you didn't like or just let it go?

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Side view

  • patriceny
    9 years ago

    How do I handle regrets?

    Well - I beat myself up mercilessly. I don't recommend that approach though. ;)

    Here's the thing - if you are building a house, chances are you're going to have way more than one regret by the time this is over.

    Sometimes it's hard to know whether what you are seeing is a actual problem, or just a perceived problem too. If you are like me, you have a picture in your head of what you thought you were getting...and then as things come to life, sometimes they don't look like the picture in your head.

    Different is not always bad either.

    I kept a journal as my house was built, and a good portion of the stuff I thought was a "problem" ended up being fine. But there are also a few things I do wish I'd done differently. The trick - of course - is to know how to tell the difference. And the nuances of how to do that are so personal, and so tied up with a million other factors, that there's no way anyone else can answer the question for you.

    My opinion is that it looks great. :)

    Good luck!

  • lyfia
    9 years ago

    It would bug me too and I would beat myself up about the money it would cost to change it due to me not being assertive early on. If 6K to change I would do it as in the big scheme of things it is a smaller amount and would bug me for a long time, but that is my personality too so would be worth it to me.

  • mrspete
    9 years ago

    If you're going to be irritated just a bit . . . but can say, "Okay, it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it'll be okay," then stick with it.

    And YOU are the only one who can answer that question.

  • LogBuildDreams
    9 years ago

    Learn to fall in love with the regrets. Find what you love about them, and refocus on that. I had my therapist recently tell me that when you focus on something, you start repeating it over and over in your head until you can't hear anything else. It consumes you.

    Instead, change the conversation you're having with yourself.

    You wish the roof was taller, but maybe you saved a lot of money on shingles because it's not. And that money went towards that awesome new stone countertop in the kitchen. So instead of thinking "Damn I wanted that roof", think "This roof gave me an awesome counter. It was worth it."

    Or that it's not cookie cutter now.

    Or that you have less window area to wash when they get dirty.

    The cost savings on the smaller windows means that got you something else that was more important to you.

    The smaller sized windows are less likely to take a baseball through them from the kids.

    There's something good in everything, so find it, and stick to that.

    I wish we were building a bigger house now that the framing is coming together, but I'm thrilled that our mortgage will be small, and there's less area to clean.

    Some of our windows I think should have been opening instead of fixed, but I remind myself that now I don't have to worry about the cranks breaking in 10 years or the cats climbing the screens.

    No regrets right?

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    So, how do I see positive in my awkward overlapping roof and architect who didn't care one bit.

  • jkliveng
    9 years ago

    I think it looks fine, and once it's not a wooden box I bet it will look even better!

  • nicinus
    9 years ago

    If it is any consolation I agree with the architect, looks much better than the typical macmansion pictures you enclosed.

  • sheloveslayouts
    9 years ago

    Of course you have to know yourself and how you process these kinds of things. For me - just me - something like a major structural feature like the roof is very important. What you see when you arrive home can either bring you great joy or memories of coulda woulda shoulda.

    If it really bothered me I'd spring for the roof redo and cut $6000 elsewhere. Bathroom vanities, kitchen counter, something thing that can be switched out later. You'll never switch a roof out later. In our last home we probably spent $6000 on quartz kitchen counter and natural stone mosaic backsplash alone and as pretty as it was I often thought it was a waste of money because I would've been happy with much cheaper materials.

    I don't have an opinion about the roofline either way, but I certainly feel your pain. I've had home renovation regrets and architect woes as well. Everything's gonna be alright.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Benjesbride would you leave my roof alone if you were in my place or try to change it. What I am afraid of is what if I won't be 100% happy once I change it. What then?

  • robo (z6a)
    9 years ago

    I like your roof and I think it looks good with the overlap as your house front isn't symmetrical. If you had just two curvy parts it would look like eyebrows.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Now I got the architect to do it. Here is what I think I should have done.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    In this case my middle will be lower than the rest. It will be the only one without the peak. I guess that was his rational behind it. What do you think. Leave it alone?

  • sheloveslayouts
    9 years ago

    You have a valid point about the possibility of changing the roof and still not liking it. I wish I could offer a knowledgable opinion, but I know there are folks here who can.

    I'm steeped in renovating a little 1100 square foot cottage that was built around a tiny late 19th century cabin, so my current design paradigm is about as polar opposite from yours as one can get.

    I will say, though, that its possible that if your roofing is a dark charcoal or black and you have a lovely color scheme and great texture with your siding materials, the roof is going to recede and your eye will go to the parts of your home that are supposed to capture your attention first. We love to drive around and look at houses A LOT and I don't think I've ever noticed a roof unless it was a really bossy color or something.

  • sheloveslayouts
    9 years ago

    Can you post the drawing of the existing front elevation so we can more easily see what the change would be?

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    I've never payed attention to roofs. In the house i live in now, I don't even know the roof color, but since i had to be proactive with my complacent architect i had to constantly look around and online to get inspirations.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Here is existing

  • sheloveslayouts
    9 years ago

    I don't know if it's against GW etiquette, but if it would help your decision to get input on these two choices you could post a new thread asking for opinions with the drawings for comparison.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    it's hard to tell from these renderings the three dimensional view of the house.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    it's hard to tell from these renderings the three dimensional view of the house.

  • dekeoboe
    9 years ago

    To me, the roof looks flatter in real life than it does in the renderings. I am basing that on the height of the roof compared to the height of the chimney. If it ends up matching the renderings, I think it will look fine. Then again, I don't have to live there and look at it everyday.

  • Oaktown
    9 years ago

    Personally, I think the way it is framed currently looks better than what you posted today at 17:56.

    Good luck and Happy Halloween!

  • chibimimi
    9 years ago

    Your window and door are going to be very dramatic and will overcome the dominance of the right-hand wing once everything is done. It just looks odd right now because there is the plywood over the openings. I think it will be stunning when it is done.

  • hilltop_gw
    9 years ago

    Shown below is a side by side of what you say is existing and then the way you think it should have been done.

    I personally like the way it is currently framed (existing photo). The higher center gives it more of a presence and focal point.
    Once the house is done the finished product will look a lot different. Right now its just flat with no depth or interest.

    But as I look at the pictures of the other houses you posted that you seem to like, they have more of a roof pitch than your house and the one also has a more staggered footprint which are both entirely different topics. But that's my simple interpretation.

    This post was edited by hilltop on Fri, Oct 31, 14 at 21:43

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    Thank you all for your input!!! I really appreciate your feedback.

  • sheloveslayouts
    9 years ago

    That's so great, Hilltop! Looking at them side by side, I definitely prefer the existing.

    abekker - Oh, I hope this discussion helps you feel better.

  • divine_serenity_gw
    9 years ago

    I like the existing view too. I think it gives the entry a focal point. Showcase an awesome front door! Embrace it!

  • romy718
    9 years ago

    Honestly, I prefer the drawing of existing & agree that your disappointment is most likely because it's only partially built.

  • mrsb1227
    9 years ago

    Another vote for existing! I like the emphasis on the middle portion that the peak provides (my home has a prominent middle peak as well.) the door and window above it are gorgeous and should be "on display." I also agree that it may not seem like such a big deal when the home is finished and everything comes together.

  • amykath
    9 years ago

    I honestly love your home! Much much more than the photos you shared. I like the existing better than the first plan. I wonder if we scrutinize things before we even see the big picture. I think when you have it completed you may feel completely different about it.

    We are currently building now and I know for sure I will have many regrets, but you cannot escape that. There is no way to start from scratch and get everything just as you want it (because we do not even know all that we want and how we want it until we see it). I believe we have to learn to live with our choices even if some are not what we really wanted after seeing them. At least, you are getting closer to what you want by far, than just buying an existing house. I think focusing on that is what is really important.

    I hope you come to love your elevation. I think it is far more unique and original than the other photos you posted. I like that it is a bit tighter in the middle that the first drawing, it makes it more interesting.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    I have calmed down a little. I will meet my architect on site on Monday and see what he says. For now my builder is very patient and said I have time to think while he will be away next week. I am leaning towards keeping it the way it is, especially after everyone's reassuring comments. Besides I am afraid that I might not love the change either. Will keep you posted.

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    After looking at it again I realized that if I align the roofline my center windowwill have to be lowered quite a bit and that will not look good from the inside as well as outside. Phewww...feel better. Also, I found a number of pictures on Houzz with very similar overlapping roofs.

  • Kiwigem
    9 years ago

    I like the lower roof. It looks Italian instead of McMansion.

  • lafdr
    9 years ago

    I think it will look much better when the architectural details and finishes are added. It is normal to doubt and overanalyze. Fortunately, there are still many details for you to doubt and get distracted by !!

    Seriously, it looks like a beautiful and well thought out house. You will find things you wish you had done differently after you live there that you never would have thought of on paper. ((I can list all of the stupid/annoying/inconvenient details on my current house, I did buy it as is, no part in designing it)).

    Overall, your new home will have many thought out details that are perfect for you and your family. Focus on the good and soon you won't even notice the roof.

    The roof pitch does not strike me as glaringly off. The entire house is completely different than anything in my town.

    Lafdr

  • abekker
    Original Author
    9 years ago

    The roof pitch is 5 or 6, because we have a height limitation and my husband wanted 9 ft ceilings in the basement, 10 ft first floor and 9 on the second, that's why the roof isn't very steep. I pretty much got over my roof panic attack and I thank you all for that.