Heated towel bar
Heated floor in the master bath
Door operated light switch in closet and pantry
Steam shower
Dimmers on all lights

HRV, not an extra in our homes but probably yours.
Home Energy Monitor
Heat Pump Water Heater
Drain waste heat recovery
Insulated hot water lines
Surge protector at meter base

Small plumbing footprint, not really an extra but an all too often ignored detail at this stage of the build.

Can you please explain what an HRV is?

Demand recirculating pumps
220V for possible induction cooking
240V in garage for electric car charging
Floor outlets (if you have a "great room" or are planning to float furniture)

Dimmer lights for porches (love)
fans on porches
Lots lots lots o light in kitchen
Dimmers on kitchen pendants
Quiet dishwasher!
Two ovens
Two door bells for side/front door
Wired for speakers on all sides of porches intergrated into interior sound system
9' basement ceilings

I'm sure there's more... This is just what comes to mind

2nd the Induction! Our most recent install had lower amperage requirements than typical electric cooktops.

HRV, Heat Recovery Ventilator. Most appropriate for energy efficient homes with healthy Indoor Air Quality.

ERVs are sometimes used in warmer climates but until they come with ECM motors Iam sticking with HRVs.

Here is a link that might be useful: GBA: HRV or ERV?

ERVs are sometimes used in warmer climates but until they come with ECM motors Iam sticking with HRVs.

We have an ERV. What is an ECM?

Sorry, its Electrically Commutated Motor ECM, a much more efficient motor technology that I think uses DC current which should increase the life of the unit too as long as occupants remember to change the filters..

The efficiency and selection of fresh air introduction equipment is coming on fast but I typically use Venmar brand (Eko1.5) and last I checked only the HRVs had ECM fans which use about 14watts or the amount of a compact flourescent lightbulb. Going to the ERV with Venmar meant going to 100-200 watts which adds up when you run your fresh air equipment like you should. Hopefully, they last longer too. I like the service offered by the local Venmar rep but I know there are other HRV/ERV companies out there with good products.

I also dont think that the year round performance matters much between ERV and HRV in most climates. What matters is getting the house tight enough to be efficient and having control of the indoor air quality.

1. Air bath.
2. Steam Shower.

Between exercise and age, there's always something that hurts. A long hot soak or steam at the end of the day are the splurge items we gladly went over budget for.

3. 9' basement walls.

We have a walkout, which will someday be finished to rec space. We were helpfully advised to add an extra foot to the basement pour. Doesn't add much cost, but allows all the pipes and hvac to go where it needs to and still end up with nice tall ceilings.

Well I am quite fond of my occupancy sensor lighting in the pantry and the laundry BUT I forgot to have it done in the garage. That is the one place that you run outside, hands full to the dumpster or whatever and it would be great to have the light come on and then go off automagically. ;) Missed that one darn it!

We also have our kiddos bedrooms upstairs and have the led lighting on the stairwell, it is operated by sensing daylight. Love it.

Gosh - I think I'm stuck on lighting right now. I am sure there is more!

I didn't pay enough attention to outlets. I got extra outlets by my A/V equipment, but still not enough. I also asked for extra outlets behind the bed in the master, but still not enough. I didn't get an outlet on the mantel and I probably should've for xmas decor.

I didn't want a remote for the gas fireplace...I wanted a switch. I got a switch. But the electrician hooked it up to the blower instead of the on/off switch, so now I still have to have a remote. Grrrrr.

Similar thing happened with the security system. We told the guy installing it that we were having the house spray foamed and that the wires would not be accessible once sprayed. He didn't pull them out far enough, they all got buried in the foam and now we have to run around and change batteries every so often on all the sensors. Grrrr.

Its interesting how NONE of the extras on any of the list (except Brians) include actual enhancements to the home's performance, well being of its occupants, and money saving design aspects for the life of the home.
Designers and especially contactors need to do a much better job of educating home builders of better construction methods and options.
while my home is done, my list included:
strong, high efficient wall system that would not allow rot or mod (which instantly through out 2x6 framing and crappy batt insulation) (build ICF)
as air tight as possible
HRV
high efficient, accurately designed hvac system
triple pane windows
solar tempered design through correctly designing the window sizes, overhangs, and glass types
no can lights due to very leaky design

You hit the one that concerns me:
high efficient, accurately designed hvac system

How do I guarantee I get an 'accurately designed' system? Building a One Story with finished Walkout and Bonus over the garage. I was thinking zoned HVAC for that. But how do I know the company doing the HVAC really is experienced with that and knows that they are doing? It's not like I'm the GC and get to pick/choose the contractors for the build, right?

I think right now they want to do Gas Furnace, Heat Pump A/C and Zoned. Something about the Heat Pump will provide heating until xx degrees then the Gas Furnace will kick in. Is to be more efficient I guess.

I don't consider building for energy efficiency to be 'extra', although in many areas it still is.

Even though we are in a mild climate, we built ICF, R-49 in the attic, decent windows, and careful orientation of the house. Can lights can be installed in keeping with this theme, but it's a lot of extra work. All of our lighting, even decorative, is LED. Our HVAC system consists of two mini-splits, but one 12K unit has been doing an excellent job of keeping the house cool, even though we have already been well above the design temperature.

Having lived 60 years, and never in an insulated house, the results of these 'extras' is startling, to say the least.

All the homes I've lived in have had 8' (or less) ceilings. Our new house has 9' 6" ceilings, and we love it!

Sadly, its the hidden details getting covered up by finish materials that no one cares about or pays attention to but greatly effect the performance, comfort and durability of a home.

I think one of the best ways to ensure more attention to these important details, including a properly sized and installed HVAC system, is to do a third party certification like EnergyStar. Usually the raters that provide these services can do a proper Manual J & D very affordably with their service package.

I would agree, we looked at the insulation and other build materials for structure, heating and cooling efficiencies first.

What I consider extra are the little spoils that we really don't need - that are all about making things easier.

I agree. Theres a certain amount of efficiency and Indoor Air Quality that shouldnt be extra.

I really love my Blum auto drawer opener on my trash unit.