Stop thinking it to death and just commit to it. Your children will NOT be scarred by your decision...

Like everyone has said, this is a personal decision, only you know what is best for you. I grew up in the country, an only child, but I loved it. We had neighbors down the road, and I played with them, but mostly I learned to have fun on my own. I guess I don't understand many kids these days, if I was bored, I just found something to do, my parents didn't have every second of the day planned out for me, I think that's why I'm so creative now. Plus, 15 minutes isn't too bad, and at least your kids won't have to change schools. We live 30 minutes away from the city, and we've just always planned ahead (plus we figure the drive gives us time to wake up in the morning, and decompress in the evening!). Good luck with your decision, I'm sure it won't be easy!

We have lived out in the country for over 20 years. Our boys are now 14 and 18. I regret living out in the country with kids, but my husband refused to live in town. I have worked part-time for the past 18 years so that my kids wouldn't be "stuck" out in the country in the summer or after school, which has helped. We live in a country subdivision (2-5 acre lots) so there are neighbors around, but there were no kids the age of my oldest son and it can be lonely to be a kid in the country. That is not entirely correct as there were a couple of other boys (from affluent families) who were a year older than my oldest son, but my son never clicked with those boys and now one is in jail for selling drugs to someone who subsequently died from an overdose and the other kid just wasn't a nice kid--- so don't think that having neighbors with kids around the same age as your kids will guarantee friends in the neighborhood--odds are that it will, but you never know. Luckily there was one boy who was a year older than my youngest son and they did become best friends. We were at a graduation party in town yesterday and seeing all the neighbor kids at the party made me think again about how different it was to grow up in town.

We put off building in the country until after the "baby" graduated from high school. We wanted the children to be able to go to the best schools in the area, and we owned 5 country acres in waiting for over 20 years! We just moved into the new "country" house last month.

After spending the last 20 years in a subdivision, I don't think it made a big difference to the kids, but I surely appreciated the convenience when running back and forth to all of the activities and schools! If you don't like to drive a lot, you should probably wait. I work full-time, and every extra minute was important.

PennyLaney

I currently live in town but not in a neighborhood with lots of kids. We plan on building 20 min from town on a twenty acre parcel surrounded by hundreds of acres of timber land. Our only close neighbors will be the inlaws. I can't wait to get out there. I grew up on 5 acres with few neighbors and loved every second of it and that is what I want for my kids.

The question is what works best for you. Some people like a bit of isolation, some don't. I will say kids are generally pretty adaptable so I wouldn't worry excessively about them, especially since they will be going to the same school. You just need to be willing to do a bit more driving so your kids can be social.

Be sure to take advantage of the increase in space and plant a garden. :)

My two cents. I live in a very similar situation as you are describing. We are about 5 miles from civilization. My wife and I have actually in the past talked about moving back to town, but than you drive through a suburb and see all of the cookie cutter houses stacked on top of each other, and think never again. We have three kids, who do not have neighbors to play with. If anything it makes us all a closer family, because all of the day to day things are done together.

Waking up to baby turkeys grazing in the front yard is not bad either.

I grew up "out there". DH did not. We lived in cities to get educated etc... but bought our first home on 65 acres. Just a few minutes from the "have to haves"- bank, post office, fair grocery store (what they lack in flash they make up for with close parking and grocery carry out). 35 minutes to a dept store. 1.5 hours to two major cities with pro sports teams, culture, concerts etc.

We built our new house on our same property. I would die in a subdivision. Couldn't go to the barn in my undies. ( I have been known to check out a new foal in my bra and blue jeans.....) My kids are filthy, grass stained and happy. We have mud, rocks, sticks, butterflies, animal bones, leaves, birds nests and eggs and every other thing you can imagine from the outdoors in our mud room for "scientific study". My kids know what a placenta is and what it does. They know where babies come from ( they are 7 and 4). The pond and "adventure walks" are their favorite daily activities. We keep binoculars in the dining room to check out the deer who had twins this year snd the new pheasant chicks. We saw a fox the other day.

But best of all...... when we are out and about it never fails my 4 year old will say "lets go home" .

Good Luck..... your kids will be happy where you are happy.

We are moving to the country and have had many folks (including family) that have said it will not be a good thing for our daughter. Comments like...what will she do, she will be bored, lonely, etc., etc. First of all, my 8 year old is not aloud to use the word bored....she knows better. THere are so many things in this life and so little time that we are even here to do them. We both do Karate and that is it as far as outside activities. It is amazing the great lengths that parents go too to occupy their children's every waking moment. Where ever you decide to move...whether you stay a little closer tothe city or the country - do not worry about the small things. YOu and the children will be happy!!! Being a family has gotten lost somehow.....

We live on a small acreage a 15 minute drive from our small town, where we have a couple grocery stores, post office, banks, pharmacies, schools and work, and the other day to day necessities. Our house is about a 35 minute drive from the larger college town that has the mall, specialty stores, nicer restaurants, big box stores, theater, etc. We're an hour from two major cities when we want to go to a larger museum, the ballet, or the beach. We, and our only child, have plenty of friends - none of whom are neighbors. We spend many evenings and weekends entertaining and being entertained. Our son is involved with the sports and extracurricular activities of his choosing and doesn't seem to really be missing out on a whole lot.

However, the decision regarding whether to live in a neighborhood or to pursue a more private existance is truly a very personal one. While we love living where we do, and would rather be shot than live in a subdivision ;-), our choices and the reasons for them are not yours. You need to really examine what will be different, why those differences would be good or bad, and make a decision that honestly works for the life you wish to lead.

As for the children, they will adjust. Kids are fabulously adaptable. They are also way more sensitive to the moods and attitudes of adults that we sometimes give them credit for being. If decide to build on your property, but approach the move with fretting and guilt - worried that you're marooning them (and yourself, too, really) in the sticks where you'll all be lonely, bored, and cut off from real civilization - that's how your children will approach it too. So, make the best decision you can for the way you want to live your life and then present that decision (whatever it is) as a positive experience for, and to, your children.

Well, we are in doing the same moving to the country. We have one son who is 8 yrs old and loves it. We now live in city close to everything. About 5 months ago bought 45 acres. The nearest Town and school are just about a 25 min drive for us. Even when we are in the town we look forward to coming back. It was suppose to be a weekend summer get away. But now we all love it and have horses, chickens cows, ducks in the pond and hate leaving. We did have turkeys but the owls got them, and lots of deer. My son has a few close friends here in the city but they all are so bored all the time and always ask to come to the Farm with Kyle and they all never want to leave. Here in the city all the kids go to camp after camp to do what so they can fish, ride horses etc so they can just get out of the house and so parents can get them out from under their feet during summer. DonÂt get me wrong summer camps are great for kids. ItÂs not for us  we just go outside and find our own camp activities to do and it is our own. My son has never said lets go back to our other home in fact we have a hard time getting him to leave. We also feel that same peace you get from space and land. My husband works in Houston so he does have a commute but He says it is all worth it.
We went to a friendÂs house that lives in one of the cookie cutter homes, (that you can throw toilet paper out your window to your neighbor if they are out) for a BBQ and all the neighbors were there and talking about each other or who did what and bought what. All I could think about was when we could leave to go back to catch the sunset on the land with all the animals feeding on the hill side and my son running around catching dragonfliesÂ. My son had a great time with the other kids but did say it was boring. We do have a few neighbors in the counry that we have meet and one couple who is also getting out of Houston and building just our luck they have two boys who are 7 and 10 and canÂt wait to move to the country. They have had their place for over 3 yrs thinking the same about moving to the country and they said they wish they didnÂt wait so long. I know in my heart that this is going to be good for our son and our family. All the children say yes sir and no sir with respect. Here you are lucky to get the yes out of them. Everyone I talk to from the city wishes they could get out also, but it is not for everyone, one of my good girlfriends could never live out in the country, she needs the mall and the conveniences of going around the corner to the stores and I guess she needs to be around people (

Mimi, I could have written your post... :) I started to respond and reassure you but realized I was still too conflicted myself to be of much help, even though our foundation is being poured as we speak! The conflict arises mainly out of the comments by others and their issues with our decision but it is there nonetheless. So I just want to thank you for posting this. The responses have clarified our reasons for moving back to our property aside from our desire to build our own home.
Ponydoc, you summed it up simply and beautifully for me: "Your children will be happy where you are happy". Thanks for that, and Housewitch you reminded me to focus on the positve aspects of our move and enjoy myself. I guess I have felt a little guilty about how excited I am when our 13 year old is less than thrilled.
I will also say that I agree with Lindy, that feeling of peace is a strong message and I would listen to it. It is what gets me through in my less than confident moments. Good luck to you Mimi, and thanks to all who shared their experiences in this thread it has been great for me!

I wanted to add just a couple more things.

While neighbors are not encountered everyday where we live, the sense of community is very strong. I know my neighbors very well - and while we don't chat daily, there is a spirit of looking out for each other. We are quick to jump in if anything appears amiss etc.

4-H. If you have room for livestock, look into 4-H. Although I love sports ( my DH is a high school football coach) 4-H and the like will expand horizons way beyond what any organized sports activity does. I have seen so many high achieving kids come through 4-H etc. I have yet to meet any kid who doesn't think taking a project to the county fair isn't about the best week of their life. Not to mention the leadership opportunities all over the world.

Another thing - esp for boys - tractors and 4-wheelers with room to ride. Lots of people buy 4-wheelers then have to haul the to ride them. Not the case here. I also think that young exposure ( and properly taught safety) to motorized "toys and tools" promotes life long responsibility. I grew up in a farm community. Those who had driven equipment/tractors etc from a young age always seemed to be more reponsible/better drivers. My son will be driving our tractors long before he drives a car on a public roadway.

Self- suffciency. ALthough we are a long way from it, I get a certain "kick" out of knowing if we had to we could actually produce a large amount of our food. I remember thinking in the immediate uncertainty after 9/11 that we could butcher some livestock, plant a larger garden, even get a milk cow if required. We could probably feed our extended families also. We are currently exploring getting a wind turbine for electric.... we have a geothermal system in our home. It's exciting to me to think about going "off the grid" for the most part. It takes some room to put up a turbine though, not doable in town for sure.

Just some of the other things I thought of......

Oh yeah.....and not having to fence your yard for the dogs....

PD

We are soon to be country people as well. I can't wait. My children cant wait.

Colleennc said it earlier "it's amazing what lengths parents will go too to occupy their children's time."

Our goals for our children are many. We want our children to learn to live & be content wherever they are. We want them to appreciate hard work, growing our own food, raising small livestock (maybe larger, later). We want their familial relationships to be strong. We want them to love to serve others. We want them to find peace in solitude as well as with others.
For us these goals were best met living a rural life. We live in the city now & honestly there is just no room to spread out and do any of these things well.

We have owned our property for 3 years, although our home is not finished we do spend most of our days out there. Our children think of it as punishment almost, if they have to stay in the city for a day.

I am sure many hate the idea of being out of city life. For me, it is just in my blood I guess, there is nothing that gives me greater joy than to know I am giving this opportunity for freedom to my children.

I personally don't believe I should keep my kids busy all the time. Kids need time to be kids these days. It is the opinion of some that they should be shuttled around, signed up, tutored, taught and everything else just for the sake of being busy.
I reject this whole notion and want my kiddos to dig in dirt, climb trees, find critters, have campfires, lay in their hammock, just be kids.
We want family to be first, not their friends. So many have gotten away from family, it is sad, as family is what you count on.
We now started Sunday Dinner at our home. We have a big meal sunday afternoon and everyone is invited. Casual, fun, lots of room. Our children who are older know they should be there, they wouldn't miss it. I love that we do this. I had wanted to for so long but their just wasn't room before. Not for cars, people, etc.
I so love it. I know not everyone will, but if your just wanting opinions I say go for it. The sooner the better.

Kimbely

Wow! Absolutely fabulous posts, everyone. I just love the wisdom of "the kids are happy where you are happy" -- I couldn't agree more. I am feeling much better. The conflict was really inside me. But I feel deep down that this is the right thing to do...I have always wanted to get back to a woods and creek, and give my kids the gift of those endless days spent exploring for the elusive "Indian arrowheads". And that call to create my own unique home...it's just too strong.

This issue was really clarified for me yesterday -- my 50 year old first cousin passed away after a long battle with breast cancer. While we knew it was coming, suddenly the saying "life is short and unpredictable" is just staring me right in the face. So my gut is telling me to pursue the dream. If after a few years it's not for us then we'll move back to town! I know it's not exactly that simple but it's not the end of the world, either!

I don't understand how this thread became a condemnation of the family lives of people who live in town or the city or have their kids in activities. I was one who regretted living in the country. We have a great family life--we eat dinner together (sitting down around the kitchen table) every night (I would guess that there are less than 20 nights a year where we are not all eating dinner together), spend lots of time together, the boys clean and mow the lawn and they played by the pond when they were younger, they played in the woods when they were younger, etc.. But not everyone has a big family or farms. The fact of the matter (in our case anyway) is that if you live out in the country and don't have a working farm and have a small family so that you do not have your own playmates from within the family, then your kids are going to be doing all the things that you want your kids to do out in the country alone unless someone is around to bring their friends there. Campfires, playing by the pond, building forts in the woods, digging in the dirt, etc. are all more fun if you have someone to share it with, at least some of the time--and you feel better when they are off in the wood or playing by the pond when someone is with them so that they can get help if necessary. If you live out in the country with no playmates close by and the parents of your children's friends work, that doesn't happen easily. Also, if you want your kids to take swimming lessons at the public pool in the summer, play baseball, etc., you are going to have to be able to get them to those activities and if your neighbors don't have kids the same age your chances of car pooling are slim. We solved this problem by having me work part-time and by having my husband use his vacation to take afternoons off in the summer when I was working, but not everyone is lucky enough to have jobs as flexible as our jobs. Of course, kids are resilient and will adapt to anything so whatever you do will work out, but it is important to think about this as you are making your decision as providing transportation for kids who live out in the country (and who are at home during the summer and after school instead of in day care) can be difficult and you want to deal with that issue before you move to the country instead of being surprised by it after you get there. If your kids will be in day care, then this is not such a big deal. Or if you want your kids to just do activities at home in the summer and after school, then it is not a big deal either. But if you have a vision of what your kids lives will be out in the country that includes playing with friends, swimming lessons, baseball, etc., then you need to think of the transporation needs for fulfilling that vision and determine if you will be able to meet them either yourself, by hiring someone to do it, or carpooling. Also, think about how the roads to town are for biking. Our roads aren't good (one is narrow, hilly and curvy where teenages drive fast and cut the blind corners and the other requires travel on a busy highway), so I wouldn't let my kids bike the 5 miles to town themselves until they were 13 (they love biking to town). But if your roads are good, then biking can help solve transporation problems too.

Carolyn

I don't think it's a condemnation - like everything in life, it's about choices.

Our lifestyle ( including our country home/farm plus our careers) already dictate minimal scheduled activities. We pick and choose the ones that are important to us. I have never lived around the corner from anything and sacrifices have always been made - from riding my bike 6 miles to soft ball practice as a teenager to riding 5 miles to my riding lessons.

IMHO -many children are in too many things- country or city. I think what the original poster is agonizing about is the peer pressure involved with all the "stuff" kids do today. Suddenly living more of distance makes it clear that many of those things are not an option. Nor will the impromptu ball games etc etc etc. It's a trade off. Not as many playmates but also no one in your yard/home that isn't deliberately invited. Not as many activities but also developing the ability to bloom where you are planted.

It honestly gets easier and easier to live "out here" all of the time. I shop online for almost everything. All the sundries aren't that far.

I keep forgetting the most important criteria we had for a home....LOL. DH wanted to be able to pee off the front porch in privacy. Not too bad for a city boy.....LOL

PD

I was worried that some city / suburbanite folk might feel hurt when reading some of this thread. I don't think anyone meant to condemn people living in those settings as making less of a "family values" centered choice for their progeny. I certainly don't feel that way. Big city kids have great lives too -- my DH grew up in New Delhi, India with several million other people and has fond memories of pick-up games of cricket in the streets (just get the cows out of the way LOL). It has taken awhile to get him to be "ok" with trying the country life, but now that we own the land (owning any land is a big deal in India) -- he has warmed up to the notion considerably.
I digress -- we all make choices. City / suburb / country --> all have their pros and cons. All have people who like one setting and couldn't live in the others. It boils down to what other posters have said -- "if the parents are happy the kids will be too". Home is just where you hang your hat.

Things have changed so much since when we were kids. I lived in town and loved it - walked to the library, biked to the pool, stopped by my friends' houses. I had a stay-at-home mom and nobody really worried about crimes against children like they do today (certainly these crimes were happening but no one around me seemed worried about it happening in our town) Today, I'm a working mother, my kids are in daycare with several other kids. Daycare takes them to the pool and the library. At night I pick them up and go home to our house in the country where they play outside by themselves and I don't worry about who might be coming around the corner. Right now, I feel my kids have the best of both worlds. When they are 12 or 13, that might not be the case but by then we'll have flying jet backpacks and they can take themselves into town and each child will have an implanted computer chip which will tell me where they are at all times. My dream is to have our house in the country (which we have now) and an apartment in the "big" city where I work (30 miles from our home). I yearn for this because there are so many GREAT things that BOTH have to offer. (I think this point was already proven on the show Green Acres.)

We moved from suburbia to a five acre lot, much like you are describing when our children were about 2,6 & 10. I like what one poster said about once you've moved to acreage from a postage stamp you never look back!

Guess what? They'll meet other rural kids. They'll learn to ride their bikes over to the other kids' homes. We had a pool also and hosted the neighbor kids countless times. The kids had an area on the property where they constructed a fort and the oldest brother went to work on his tree house right away. We never lock our doors and never complain of traffic on the streets. We rarely hear a siren and when we DO we pay attention! (9 times out of 10 it is an ambulance). Someone mentioned they'd miss the walking trails, but we have them out here in our rural area.

We had a city couple visit us shortly after we moved. The wife had a grimace on her face and asked WHY on earth would we move out of the city? Just then a doe & a fawn stepped out of the woods and posed on the lawn (which is a daily event) and the wife gasped and said, "That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen!"

We have acquired party tents and supplies and have become well known in our family for throwing the most awesome parties. Parking dozens and dozens of cars is no problem.

Country kids do play Little League and other sports. All three of mine played on Little League teams and each team had organized car pools. They won't miss out in that regard! The schools out here were also near the top of our states average with many extra cirirular activities.

Like my Momma always said, life will be what you make it...in the country or in the "city". Forget about the stereotypes and the what ifs if you do move to the country, since those will quickly sabotage your dreams. Don't wait too long to decide, esp. with kids--they grow too fast. You and your family control the happiness--no matter where you live. (FWIW, these are all things that I repeat to myself on a daily basis. LOL!)

Good luck!

We had some dear friends who lived in the country, and they experienced just what Carolyn describes. They had one child, a daughter, and she had more of an "indoor" personality. If ever a child was born for the suburbs, she was it. She was very social, but there were no kids around. The kids who might have been playmates were off at daycare.

Sports activities like softball were a long drive away. She went to private school (public schools in that area were terrible), and the kids in her school lived so scattered that it was difficult for them to get together to play.

My friend talked about moving to "town", but her husband grew up on that land and didn't want to leave.

However, I know other families with kids who like the country. Most of them have bigger families. Your 3 boys will probably love the country, especially if they are active, outdoor boys and you feel the area is safe enough to let them roam a little.

daisyinga, your friends daughter could very well have been a wallflower even in Manhattan! Life IS what you make it!

We live about ten miles out of town and love it. The highways is about four miles from the house, with a straight shot into the city. What we cannot find in town, we order on the net, or wait to purchase until we go on a road trip to visit friends and family.
Although sometimes I wish my car wasn't so muddy, I wouldn't trade the 1.5 mi dirt road to the house for anything. It is quiet.
It is so incredibly peaceful living on a hill just below the forest treeline, with a 360 degree view of the entire valley (sitting on the deck on the 4th of July is awesome, since 'display' fireworks are legal here). Every neighbor surrounding us also has a minimum of five acres, so the view will never change.
Yes, I have to drive the kids to school, since the nearest bus stop is the 1.5 mi away and what's another 2 miles at that point? Yes, I have to plan that my trips into town will take another 15 min. more than if I lived in the city. But hey--the boys can run around outside to their heart's content. What more could I ask for? :)

Fishpants - that sounds incredibly awesome!!! You and Mainecoonkitty paint such vivid pictures.....I cannot wait until our home is finished in the country.

When we bought our acreage out in the country about 9 years ago, we had no children. Everyone wondered why we wanted to live so far out in the boondocks and what if one of us got hurt- the nearest hospital was miles away.

I actually felt guilt for our future child. What if she hated our dream? There would be no one for her to play with. We would have to drive her everywhere.

Fast forward 9 years. We built 4 years ago. We have a 6 year old daughter.

In 9 years, there has been subdivisions built almost completely around us. A hospital and major shopping center is being built within 2 miles of us. Our daughter has plenty of friends in these subdivisions. We have so many people asking us how we found acreage here and telling us we are so lucky to have it.

I worried for nothing. Someone on this forum once stated no matter how far out in the country you build, the city eventually catches up with you.

9 years ago, I would have bet you a hundred dollars that this area would not have been developed this much -this soon.

We have our little piece of heaven.

I do wish the development would slow down though. I am a worry wart and now worry about being annexed or a developer forcing us out. LOL

Neesie, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear in my post. My friend's daughter wasn't a wallflower, she was very social. That was part of the concern.

The original poster asked if anyone had ever felt a conflict, and most posters said no. However, Carolyn and I offered a different experience, and I think that's what the original poster was asking for - different viewpoints.

Actually, I lived next door to my friend and it was my favorite place I've ever lived - I liked it very much. I love the country. But I think Carolyn's experience is not unique. Different strokes for different folks.

I would gladly trade in a few of my neighbors for a few moose! When can I pick them up?

I've always longed to live in the country. When I was a child and went to visit family who lived in the country, I never wanted to come home.

Life circumstances never led me to the country to live, so here I sit in the burbs, longing for the country. However, our new house is in a smaller and less busy town and I can go 1/2 mile and feel like I'm in the country so I guess that's good. Look at this house, doesn't it look like it belongs in the country? It's a take off of an old Louisiana Acadian style. It's still not finished so pardon the unfinished look.

{{gwi:1436069}}

I envy you country dwellers!!

I'm a Suburbanite. Dear Housemate is essentially a Country Boy. When we decided to sell his dilapidated house, we looked in Knox County (TN) for a year, but couldn't find anything that suited both of us. Finally we started looking in neighboring counties, and in a week and a half we found 10 perfect acres. We even bought the adjoining lot (for a total of almost 21 acres!) because it had a barn and a pond, and because there was a probability that another owner would build their house in front of ours.

We're still in the "Pre-building" stages, but already I feel the same thing Scarlett O'Hara felt about Tara: it sustains me, it gives me strength, it gives me peace. We sold DHousemate's house and we're renting a place near The Hill, as we call it; but before that, we made the 40-minute drive almost every evening, just to enjoy the green grass, the deer, and the sense of serenity.

I never dreamed when we started looking that I would willingly live 40 minutes from work and shopping. But when I walked up to the top of the hill and looked around, I couldn't write the "earnest money" check fast enough. If I had children, I might have some of the same worries Mimi72 has. I'm certainly worried about taking on a mortgage at age 52, in this economy, etc etc etc. But it just feels like home, and nobody is more surprised about it than I am.


-------------- Trilby

Trilby, I saw the pic of the barn and the church before I read your post, and I knew instantly that it was East Tennessee. :-)

frog_hopper,

You have a great eye! The church was one of the things that sold me on the lot -- when I saw it, my first thought was that nobody in East TN would tear down a red brick Baptist church and put in a junkyard )in the middle of the view from the back deck!) :-) That's an old tobacco barn, in very good shape, nice and dry inside. We feel lucky to have one in such good condition. I'm close to the Quilt Trail and I'm thinking of putting up a "quilt square".

Do you live in East TN now, or do you just visit? :-)


--------------- Trilby

We live here now. In fact, I first thought that the church in your picture was one that is just a couple of miles away from us, but then I realized that it was a different church with a similar parking lot and driveway layout.

tril, I can't see your photo's, just a red x. Is there some other way I can view them? Thanks

Hi brutuses,

Thanks for asking, I totally LOVE to show off the property! :-) I don't know why the photos aren't showing up anymore, but here's a link to my photos related to The Hill, the house plans, the materials we've been gathering prior to building, etc. The shots I tried to post are in the gallery called "The Hill".

-------------- Trilby

All I can say is "absolutely breathtaking". Look forward to seeing future photo's.

My DH and I both grew up in the city (different cities though). As teens, we both lived in subburbs. When we married, we bought 7 acres in the country and built a home there. Our children were both born there. Since then, we have moved to a different property, 25 acres this time. My son always loved living in the country (4 wheelers, hunting, fishing, go-carts, etc). My daughter liked it until she became a teen, then she complained about how all her friends lived near the mall, got to socilaize more, etc. Her 16th birthday party was the talk of the school though. We went to a saw mill and got a huge pile of pine board slabs and had a bonfire party for her. The stack of wood was 8' high and I bet they could see the blaze from space!! lol!! She loved that party. Now, she's married and guess where she lives and wants to raise her kids? On our property.....in the country. As an adult, she can see how much better that lifestyle is, even with the inconveniences. My son lives on our property too. I get to watch my grandkids grow up, in the country,

DH and I love the country, but really worried about our children making the adjustment since they've been "neighborhood kids" their whole lives. We searched for 2 years to find the perfect property to build on. We have 2 acres that backs a new neighborhood of about 100 houses so there will be plenty of kids for the boys to play with, BUT we're on a dirt road with a 150 acre farm next door and another 75 acre farm across the street.

Our neighbors come over to visit every morning and check on the progress of the build. :o)

We're only about 5 minutes away from shopping and 20 minutes from downtown, but it feels like we're in the middle of nowhere. Love it!

persnick, love that scenery.

Last week at sunset I saw twenty Chuckwillawillas flying over the clearing in the front eight acres or so of my land. Today, I heard a bobwhite and a piliated woodpecker.

Love the country life.

Mimi72,

I can relate as well. I have 3 sons (8, 6 and 4) and we live in a "country club" neighborhood. The homes are all very nice, there are walking paths, nature trails, a golf course, 2 pools, and sidewalks. But, before we bought this house we found a piece of property in the same town that is surrounded by horse farms and just beautiful land. When I drove down that bumpy road (not very well paved), it made my heart beat faster. Anyway, DH is a city boy, and he grew up around the country club lifestyle. He loves golf and tennis and has little appreciation for the outdoors honestly. For me, I grew up in a college town, so it had much culture and education was important. When I was in 4th grade my parents bought 80 acres and built a beautiful house. Today, I LOVE going to this house and for my 3 boys, they refer to it as "camp." But, in 4th grade I was not amused! I feel like that is a tough age to move. Anyway, fast forward many years, I really want that for my kids --- I spent so many afternoons hiking and catching craw-dads in the creek, fishing in the pond, etc. I learned a lot and toughened up being in the country. I convinced DH to buy the property and we began working on houseplans. In the meantime, we moved to our country club neighborhood. We picked a house that would work while we got houseplans ready and while building. We have been here a year and a half and I love my houseplans, love the property, but the problem is, we also love our country club neighborhood! We happened to move across the street from a boy the same age as the 8 year old --- they both happen to be the same geeky academic type, which is hard to find. They often call each other and drop over to shoot baskets in the driveway, or make a lego city, or just hang out. I have become good friends with the mom, and DH has recently become great friends with the dad. They chat in the driveways, play golf together and we generally are comfortable. Our next door neighbors have turned out to be great friends and the kids see the 2 girls outside and they all go running out to play together. We are comfortable enough that we know when this group is playing together, we don't really need to supervise --- and they just meet and play outside, so it is low maintenance. Anyway, we never would have chosen this house as our long term house, but we like it because of our neighbors and we happen to be in a pretty private spot. But.....I really want to build this house --- Our property actually touches this country club neighborhood, but the lot is larger, but on the far side of the "country club"neighborhood - so pretty far from friends. The kids don't have any "issues" with this house, but it is not my dream. DH is willing to go along, but really, deep down, I know it is not what he has always imagined for his dream home (I think that is where we are right now). But, I worry about my kids missing that experience with nature, and loving and respecting nature. If I see a wasp inside, I catch it and take it out, DH squashes them. Not that I'm right, but I want a bit of my likes and interests to rub off on my kids. When I was a kid my dad liked to walk around and teach me each kind of tree and flower. To my kids and husband, it is a "tree," what's the difference? On a free day, I'd like to take the boys to explore in the woods, DH would play golf or go to the pool. Nobody is right, but we are different --- I always thought that DH would come around to preferring country, but I am not so sure now. I want to make sure the kids grow up with an appreciation for the outdoors and nature. Incidentally, we will still belong to the golf and pool club (and actually, the pool is about a 5 minute walk from the property, while it took 2 hours to walk once from our current house)! We won't be sacrificing the golf and swimming, so I am not ignoring my husband's interests! My theory is you can always go into the city and walk around and get a taste of city life, but having your own personal quiet place is not as easy.

Anyway, I don't have an answer, I just wanted to let you know I think we have very similar situations and concerns. I think that little kids are extremely adaptable and in your age group, they will always remember that as their way of life. I'd recommend doing it as soon as possible! I don't think you'll have regrets.
Good luck with your decision --- I'm going to be interested to follow your decision and progress.....

"....Our property actually touches this country club neighborhood, but the lot is larger, but on the far side of the "country club"neighborhood - so pretty far from friends...."

Could you build a golf cart/four-wheeler path to the country club neighborhood?

That's how people get around in my folks golfing community.

mimi-
I'm in the same situation as you. We currently live in a lovely suburban neighborhood, but a few months ago purchased 10 acres in the country. We plan to build a home in 2-3 years. Our boys are now 7 and 11 years old. We work out at the property regularly fixing up the pole barn, planting and caring for trees etc . . . The boys are used to sitting in the house watching tv, playing video games . . . They are learning to find things to do out there. We put up a rope swing for them and let them shoot bb guns and do archery. We also make them work a bit as well. Today we were there for over 6 hours and they did go through a period of annoying each other, but then found some ways to entertain themselves. At one point I gave them the digital camera and asked them to go take pictures of the flowers and whatever else they wanted. They went off for about half an hour and took some really nice pictures of butterflies on wild daisies.

I see our time working on our land as quality family time with no distractions. I love it! I'm blogging about our experiences if anyone's interested in reading about our changing lifestyle!

I tried to use the link button, but it wasnt' working. The blog site is www.wearemovingtothecountry.blogspot.com

I built in the country after the kids went off to college. The city schools were far superior to the rural schools.

At 5 and 6, how many friends have your boys made? They'll make more, and more importantly, they have each other. My kids are 5 yrs apart and a boy and a girl so they don't want (or he doesn't want LOL!) to do things together but your boys will have a ball growing up in the country!

Ds is off at school (an hour bus ride - but the town does send a bus) but DD is home. I was letting her watch a DVD I got at the library (about 10 miles away - *everything* is about 10 miles away LOL! except family within walking distance) while I posted/read here, then I'm off to finish polying some trim in the garage. I looked up from reading the last post on this thread, saw this out the sliding glass door (called DD in, warned her *slowly*!, we spent 10 minutes watching them and I took these pics - couldn't get them in frame together b/c by the time she came out he was over by the maple we just planted. This is the first time we've seen a buck in our yard, though we see does often).

THIS is why we love living in the country (though I have to say, our old house with 3 acres we had deer that came right up to our front door and ate our shrubs - here on 97 acres backing up to neighbors with - combined - oh about 1000 more, then a state forest, the deer have so much to more to eat I'm thinking of planting an azalea by the front porch, just let them eat the clover in the lawn LOL!)

Of course, there's the bear that got into our garbage can last month, a couple of bobcats, and the coyote who was standing (sounded like) in our back yard howling Wed night. Occasional screech owl waking us up. But it sure beats sirens and city lights.

Now - just hoping we have 3 (or more) solid days w/o rain this weekend so we can get the first cutting (of hay) done!

Oops, sorry just reread post and you don't even have to change schools - so no problem with leaving friends and making new ones! The school friends will love to come visit. My Ds has a friend in town (not even in same school, but Scouts) and they're always asking *him* over, we can't wait to have a campout at our house but there's one at their house this w/e if it stops raining (Mem Day/bday party for this boy was rescheduled for this w/e b/c of rain - it's been raining for a solid month now)!.

If this thread is still going in August I'll be sure to post pics of the "family reunion" (really just my dad's brothers and their kids who live in the area - I don't think those who have moved out of the area are coming back, my siblings are coming end of July). My cousin, her dad (middle brother) and I all have adjoining land, my uncle mows all his with a riding lawnmower (we have hayfields, my cousin just has the old farmhouse, barn and 5 acres). Just my uncles, cousins and spouses, and their kids in the area add up to about about 100 people (25 from one uncle, his kids/spouses and grandkids alone!) so we set up a few tents, 3 grills and sometimes a spit with a pig, a few kiddie pools, a slip-n-slide, and the kids get filthy in the pond/creek/swamp and the slip-N-slide, we hose them off, some go home but some stay around the bonfire til the wee hours - we try to do this every year so the 2nd cousins who live within 10 miles of each other but all go to different schools in different towns can see each other (besides Little League when they play against each other LOL).

Oh, and I did manage to get a pic of the buck and doe together (can just see her hind end - no pun intended! - under the tree at the edge of the woods b/t him and the birch).

I just noticed the original date on this thread - it's a year old!

So Mimi, how's the build going? What do your boys think?

I grew up on, and later lived on, a postage stamp lot (1/8 of an acre.) I now have a homesite that is 1.7 acres (170' x 430') with the back 85' as woods, and then about 45 acres of woods behind that (hope that the descendants of the old lady who used to own that property never sell to a developer!) The backyard looks like the picture of Bambi above. I believe that man was made to be in harmony with nature, and having fauna around helps his psychology. Even the developers of Manhattan, NY realized this, hence Central Park.

Now with all that said, living *way* out in the sticks could be a problem as going into town could be a big pain, and that could cause folks to become hermits. I would say that not having close neighbors is a plus, not a minus. And in any case, neighbor is a relative term - for some it means 10' away, for others, a mile away.

As for the part about the affect on kids, once they go to school, they will socialize that way, and by the time they hit their teens they'll be tweeting away with kids from far away from the neighborhood. And once they get out the house, they can live any way they want. If they will have hated the isolation, they can go live in Manhattan, NY.

Our new house (in the country) is about two months away from completion. I was feeling ready to pull my hair out in frustration about all of the hold-ups, decisions, etc. when I came across this thread today. Thank you all for helping me to remember why we are going through this stressful building process...we cannot wait to have our own piece of heaven out in the country. A peaceful place to raise our kids without worries. Here's a picture of our backyard.

Alicia

Alicia, that view is priceless - even better than Bambi in the woods. I'll bet you do some great stargazing there as well (my best stargazing times have been when I drive out west to go skiing, and I get into the long stretches of nothing in eastern Colorado I-70 (or even better in eastern Utah I-70!)

Swampwiz, thanks for the compliment. You're right, the stargazing is incredible! Except for the yard light, there is nothing to obstruct the view of the stars. The Milky Way looks amazing on clear nights. That is one of the many things I've missed in the past several years of living in the city. I don't think people who live in the city their entire lives know what they are missing, up and beyond all of those city lights. Not that city lights aren't nice in their own right, but in my experience they don't compare to the beauty of the nighttime sky.

To the OP, there isn't a doubt in my mind about building in the country. I grew up in the country, not far from where we are building. I am a country girl at heart, and cannot wait to move back out there! The builders have been seeing many moose and deer down in the valley. There are pheasants and turkeys galore, as well as the occasional mountain lion (which we just try not to think about!)

But the stargazing is the best I've seen anywhere. On nights when the Aurora Borealis is lighting up the sky, it will absolutely take your breath away. North Dakota may not be the most scenic state in the country, but I feel very blessed to be living where we are (or soon will be) in which I consider to be one of the most beautiful places on earth.