All builders are the same. We paid 30k in upgrades 9 years ago was nowhere near what they have in the model. We do not regret most upgrades except kitchen counter-top, lighting package. Estate home - 0 issues after 9 years. Lot's of features from custom homes, except price. Our subdivision has 94 lot's. Highly recommend.

Let's see:
Kitchen upgrade $8100 (with it you get cherry cabinets, stainless steel appliances, double ovens convection, cook top, neat mw, decent layout, etc.

Extension 160 sq ft - 10k. Makes first floor very decent in size. Extends basement by the same amount, adds a bit to the cost to Ryland of brick wrap, steel support, tile floor, etc. ( I noticed they do not offer such option anymore :) )

Full house brick wrap was 5k. No way you are going to beat this for they estate size home.

Tile or wood floor kitchen & entrance 4k.

All bath counter top upgrades makes bathrooms look decent.

Most other upgrades were waste of money
Carpet, linoleum, lighting, pre-plumb for water softener, etc.

Also I recommend talking to landscaper that ryland encouraged us to do. Cost of upgrades between junk plants and decent plants, and layout are nothing - $110.