Mizzou... #65: Shut the &*%$ up.

;)

I have a question for you: What if you see a photo of something....hideous, what do you say: anything? nothing? Would love to hear some bahrr's!

Although it was not short, I really had a good laugh at Posted by: Mizzou_KX (My Page) on Fri, Apr 29, 05 at 9:59 ;)

Allison, I've wondered the same. I've bitten my tongue to this point, and probably will continue to so. There is no accounting for taste, after all.

"Maybe your family doesn't like you either...."

"Yes, the HOA can tell you what to do......"

"You change your mind, you pay the price..."

Good ones Fairegold.

I'm also at a loss for a reply to the "Obviously Ugly".

Perhaps something like "Your color palette selections are quite interesting". Translation .... "That has to be the BUTT UGLIEST color in the universe"

"You must have spent quite a bit of time with your architect". Translation ...."But obviously neither of you knew anything about design".

"Your home is striking". Translation ...."A good lightning strike and resulting fire would improve it greatly".

I made the mistake of venturing over to the Home Decorating forum. There's a thread that needs your rr golden touch Mizzou....

Here is a link that might be useful: Are Toliet Seat Covers Tacky???

allison -- Sorry, it is not in the home dec "conversations", it is in the discussion forum, under
A Fairy Tale Based on Beating a Dead Horse.

I don't go over there much. Maybe too many people w/cats.

ChiSue, I had ColorMe email me the link when I couldn't find. Thanks for pointing thread out to me, I enjoyed reading it.

P.S. I have 5 cats!

I haven't felt stupid enough yet...Too much company and had to make a wedding cake this morning. PRESSURE!!

Hey, maybe we could do an FAQ titled: Don't Ask The Following Stupid Questions... sounds like a fun project!!

I have 4 cats and I am not a fan of the Decor Forum. I've always been struck how those giving the "Most informed answers (and also decide which threads to snub)" have the most BU++ ugly, cheapo, and tacky, no-taste Decor anywhere on Gardenweb. But then maybe I just have an attitude problem today!@!

Think I'll go read that thread. I obviously need a good laugh!!

TNEveryoneLeaveMeAloneLady!!!! (not y'all! ~ you're my saving grace ;)

Maybe we should just venture over to Home Decorating when we need a good laugh. (I honestly didn't know they still MADE toliet seat covers!)

Yeah, you may have cats, but are they DECORATED?

ChiSue and TNLady, you crack me up. One day I'll lose my paranoid sense of decorum and join you. In the meantime, keep up the good work.

My 5 cats and 2 dogs are NEVER decorated, we do not celebrate their birthdays and they never eat at the table...we make them sit at the counter!

I was thinking of getting one of those dogs you can keep in a purse like Paris Hilton has, but then that's just one more thing I'd have to clean up pee after in public. All of a sudden my daughter untrained herself. That's been fun.

Ha, speakin' of cats. Which I wasn't but you guys were. Remember the pic of the cat with the helmet made out of a lime peeling? That was great!!!!! Can't remember who posted that one. TigerlilySC maybe.

{{gwi:1395782}}

{{gwi:1395783}}

{{gwi:1395784}}

That should hold you until tomorrow!

Oops, Don't want to leave out oranges:

{{gwi:1395785}}

Yep, that's the one. Oh, BTW, I weighed in on the toilet seat controversy. Oops, I think I hear little voices singing "It's a small, small world". Gotta go.

Allison - ROTFLMAO at your feline photos!!

Here's my BAHRR entry:

If if doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.

or

Time to put your big boy/girl pants on and deal with it like a man/woman.

or

This too shall pass.

Thanks for the laughs you guys!

More on bah for a photo that's just plain ugly--do the ugly baby thang--you know, "oh, that's such an ALERT kitchen" wow, that is such a "healthy" ceiling, oh my-but that paint color is so, so-"strong" for it's age I mean it's strong-ahhh." and always, "I bet you're very proud." :P

P.s. Disregard ALL of the above as it's purely mean and God doesn't like it. (what I tell my 7 yr. old.) :)

Leelee7, I'll have to add alert to my baby repertoire. My favorite is, "he/she is absolutely precious!" Mind you all, I'll be watching for these responses when I finally post photos on BAH.

Obviously Ugly Response...

"What's important is that YOU like it!" which is the truth, by the way.

Mizzou, I was able to help the people in the decorating forum understand your position by posting a photo of your commode.

fyi: Those are NOT my cats!

I've gotta run see Mizzou's toliet...and see what the ladies have had to say to him! lol (thanks, greenbank - wish I had thought of that!)

This is the first post I have ever really loved.

For those who ask, Where do you keep your dishes, tupper wear, plastic bags? IN THE KITCHEN!!!

For those who ask, What color mushroom, tawny, summer cream, ITS ALL BEIGE!!!!!

Ann

Britta -- You can get a widdle doggie-in-a-purse. The widdle doggie widdles IN the purse...then you throw the purse away! I never clean up after my widdle doggie when he pees, just when he poops. He sometimes squats to pee, then he fastidiously walks off several steps on his front legs, lest he accidently step in the puddle. Believe me nobody taught him that one. Your DD can't walk on her hands, can she? Don't tell her about this dog.

That is NOT MY toilet. Mine would have British Racing Green stripes. Not that I'm British or anything, I just like the color. Now that you mention it, the Kawasaki Lime Green" would be a fantastic fashion statement too, I do believe. That's probably why I like the cat with the lime helmet.

Just came in from the yard for a break. Gotta go plant some new flowers in the tractor tire. And I can't remember where I put those darn flamingos, the blue gazing balls, and the "boy peeing in the fountain statue". I think those gazing balls are "just precious".

Just a reminder to us all--it's that time of year. I just left the house site; DH stayed behind. He just walked in the door to tell me he found a monster-sized water moccasin between the back sidewalk and garage, under an upturned wheelbarrow--next to outide ac units. I had just been standing there, and although we have a lake lot and see snakes every year, since I hadn't seen any snakes this season, I have let my guard down and wasn't thinking about snakes, certainly not with painters, etc. around. Lucikly, DH had a hoe and the painters (yes, working on Sunday) coaxed him away from the house with a rake--he came after DH, white mouth open. I understand he is now hanging on a trailer, waiting for the snake phobia guy to show up tomorrow. We have avoided killing the moccasins and copperheads we've come across up there, but now that we're about to move in and they are right up against the house, I guess we'll have to kill them.

Please, everyone--be careful! Mizzou, I hope you looked good in that tractor tire! LOL

Obviously, I intended to start a new thread. This is what happens when you're always in a hurry.
Carry on.

But you did find the "bend over ladies" with the polka-dot dresses, didn't you?

Did you give the tire treads a new coat of paint this year? Are they red or John Deere green now?

Nancy (who grew up in a farmhouse with silver painted tractor tire planters out front)

Demi!

A huge water mocassin right outside your back door?! Oh my goodness. I am kind of weird in that I actually like snakes - well, just the nonpoisonous variety. I have young children who wander our fields and forests every day and am feeling very blessed right now that I don't have poisonous snakes to worry about. I thought deer ticks (we are one of the worst areas in the US for deer ticks - what an honor) were bad enough.

As to your earlier posting about watching for BAHRR on handling ugly babies and homes, well, I'll be watching for "alert" comments as well! :)

It's been snowing here, when will this cool weather pass?

Speaking of cats...my four bring up a dead baby snake on the front porch rug (as a gift, I'm sure!) every other day. Hey, that's a few that won't get big and creepy. That and the Scorpion killing is WHY I have four cats!!!

Went and posted on the toilet cover thread...couldn't help myself. Off to plant herbs!!!

TNLady

The thing to say when something is BUTT UGLY is this:

"Well/Wow/Gosh, etc., that's really something!"

It's the perfect "Southern lady" phrase, as it sounds polite, appears to be an expression of approval, yet avoids actual comment on the thing in question. It's the difference between "responding" to a question and "answering" a question.

Don't y'all's Mamas teach y'all things like this? Around here, nice girls don't get out of elementary school without such basic information!

Housewitch is right ...... again.

But, a well phrased southern "bless her/his/their heart" in conjunction with your comments makes everything ok.

So instead of a blunt "That really is an ugly house", the phrase "That really is an ugly house, but bless their heart, they did what they could" sounds much better.

We would use that as BARR #100. Shortened to "Bless their heart".

Another contribution from the land of unfailing polite-ness:

"Well, my land!"

It doesn't mean anything, but again, sounds vaguely like a polite - even enthusiastic - expression of approval. You have to be at least 50 to carry that off, though.

Mizzou, "bless your heart" is Southern for "I'm sorry for you/him/her/them" (Bless her heart, he always was a no-account philanderer...Bless his heart, he never did have enough sense to come in out the rain...) If the person you're talking to doesn't know that, however, it can be perfect.

All this southern charm talk reminds me of the joke of three southern belles sitting on a porch one hot afternoon fanning themselves...

1st Southern Belle: My mamma always taught me that the only way a girl will be happy in life is to marry a rich man and buy only the best china to have your dinner parties with. Others will be jealous with envy...

3rd Southern Belle: That's niiicceee....

2nd Southern Belle: Well, my mamma always told me you're nothing in this life if you don't have the biggest house with the most friends, all of which are extremely successful in their lives....

3rd Southern Belle: That's niiiiccceeee....

1st Southern Belle again: What did your mamma teach you?

3rd Southern Belle: My mamma said if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, and you really just want to tell them to F*&k off, then you say "That's niiiccceee....."

Ooooohhhhhh....You are going to get sent to Disney if you don't watch oooooouuuutttttt!!!!!!

Brittta, ROTFLOL!!! I read that the other day and rolled then, but was too tired to respond. Just read it again and I'm still laughing.

I think I know those ladies.

Who was the Washington DC grand dame with an acid tongue who said, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, come sit by me?" (Roosevelt era, I think.)

I believe it was Teddy Roosevelt's daughter, Alice.

Bingo! demifloyd And "Alice" has always been one of my favorite names -- even "Alyce".

I HATE it when someone thinks I said my name was "Alice." Reminds me of Alice on the Brady Bunch, or Gladys Kravitz on Bewitched...which I know isn't an Alice but still! I never understand what was up with Alice in Wonderland. And Alice Cooper - Good God! What a weirdo!

You have something in common with my daughter. Her name is Alix. If she's not being called Alice, it's Alexandra, which isn't her name either. She can blame her dad for this problem--I wanted to name her Margaret. I don't know why.

Our family didn't even plan it this way, but all the cousins (the oldest being 6) are named: Chad, Zack, Max, Jack, Emma and Jenna. It's real fun at family gatherings. Kinda reminds me of that Bill Cosby routine "I thought my name was D@mn it! until I was 5 years old...."

My husband's cousin's 3 sons are Sean, Ian and Evan. i can never remember which is which so I call them all John. They are now old enough to get the joke.

I dated a guy named Jack. His brothers were Johnny, Jerry, Jimmy and another Jack.

Jack ended up marrying Jerri. Her sisters were Terri, Sherri, Mari and Carrie.

Jack's brother Johnny married Judy. They had boys named Josh and Jeremy.

Allison, that reminds me of George Foreman's family -- IIRC, all of his sons are also named George!

Haven't been here in years. It's 'Nibblin', aka, 'Swampy'. Wondering how you all are doing.