Nora and Fran, thank you for your kind thoughts. Unfortunately, our worst fears were confirmed this afternoon. She has adenocarcinoma - 1 1/4" mass in her lung, areas in her shoulder and her back. She will meet with the onocologist on Tuesday and most likely begin radiation that same day. Only a few of us know, she has not told her sons yet, nor our mom or other siblings. My younger sister is with her now, and I suggested that, as hard as it will be, they call and tell Mama while she's at home (not to wait until she comes to the hospital tomorrow, then worry about her getting home.) She will be able to grieve tonight and then be more prepared to face the future with my sister tomorrow. She tried calling Mama, but bless her heart, she was at Mass, so will have that message waiting on her to call. She has 3 sons - two live away and the one who is quadraplegic lives with her. He will be devastated the most - ever since his accident he has leaned on her. It's just all terribly sad. Thanks for listening.

Patti, this is all so confusing for you and your DD. I may be clutching at straws here, but does the hospital where the surgery was performed have a Patient's Advocate? If so that person should be able to pull all of this together. Getting that done, though, isn't going to help with the physical pain and agony that she is suffering from right now, and I would think she would need a specialist who can sort it out and recommend something for that. I had a Hysterectomy when I was 39. One ovary was removed and part of the other was removed, leaving part to produce hormones. That worked fine for 13 years, after which I was prescribed Hormone replacement pills. Haven't taken them for several years now. I've said that to make the point that with both ovaries gone, one of those doctors should have prescribed Estrogen replacement for her. I would think she should insist on that now and it will surely help her to feel better. I wish her well and hope she can get the replacement meds quickly. Then she will feel more like taking care of the other part of the problem. And for you, Patti, I know Moms suffer right along with their children, regardless of age. Take care. Sue

I think most of us have done things for cosmetic reasons at one time or another. Teeth straightening, lasik, mole removal, wart removal are often done for cosmetic reasons rather than health although often the reasons overlap. I think cosmetic surgery is great for someone who really has an issue that has always bothered them for most of their life. It's great for reconstructive purposes also. I can understand people wanting to change something that they were born with that detracts from their looks like huge ears or a crooked nose etc. I can also see having surgery for something that makes it hard to wear things. Big breasts or huge arms for example. I would have arm surgery if they ever came up with a way to do it with less scarring. Right now the scars from that surgery are almost as bad as the arms. from what I've read most end up covering the scars with long sleeves. So what's the point? I'd love to be able to wear short sleeves and go sleeveless and wear clothes that don't bind. But cosmetic surgery to fit in with the fashionable face of the day or to take away natural aging I would never do. It's not worth the risk of anesthesia.

Wishing you a successful surgery, Sue, and an easy recovery! I’ve had no experience with that specific surgery, but having had surgery on my right hand and a cast for 6 weeks, quickly followed by a broken left hand and cast for 6 weeks. And then carpal tunnel surgery on my right wrist/hand directly after that put me in a similar disabled situation. The folks here gave me great pre-surgery advice. Planning ahead with premade (or bought) frozen meals; paper plates for easier cleanups ( you get worn out so quickly those first few weeks!). Elastic waisted pants. Slip on comfy shoes. Tops that work with your specific post-surgical handicaps, pulled out and ironed ahead of time. I had my hair and nails done right before my first surgery. My DH helped me with my hair every morning, after my surgery. He was so kind . . . and so exacting, after 2 days I wanted to punch him out (LOL)! He soared through medical school but hot rollers were too much for him . . . and my patience! I made sure that I had books and magazines to keep me occupied and not bored, especially that first week after. Cutting foods with knives was impossible for me those first few weeks, but serendipitously, I found that I could easily use good poultry shears for all sorts of meal prepping, as well as cutting my food for meals! Good luck and keep us posted! ** DH said to add a bit of physician advice: take your prescribed pain meds every 4-6 hours as directed, especially that first week post-op. Waiting until the pain is bad to take them wears your down too much.